IIT-B, IIM-B, 498-A

My experiences with legal terrorism

FAQ – Frequently asked questions

Q.  Your blog often says that women should be in more hurry for divorce if they want to  get married again and have a family. I am only 30 years old. Should I really be concerned about menopause at this young age?

A. I remember reading some years back that the average age of a woman reaching menopause is 51, but I think over period of time this has changed.

http://www.news-medical.net/news/2007/01/28/21541.aspx – One-fifth of women in India experience menopause by age 41.

A related issue is discovered in a recent study


“By the time a woman hits 30, nearly all of her ovarian eggs are gone for good, according a new study that says women who put off childbearing for too long could have difficulty ever conceiving.”

Also, conceiving is not the only difficulty. There are other complexities involved as well. Eg. read about “down syndrome” and then view the following table:


It says “the risk of delivering a baby with down syndrome becomes 1/00 at the age of 40 from 1/900 at the age of 30 (which itself is significantly higher than the optimum 1/1400 at the 20 -24 age).

Q. Me and my wife both are software engineers. She went to USA for a long term assignment. She was earning a salary there and has filed her income tax returns also in the USA. She has mentioned her taxable status as ‘SINGLE’.

I spoke to some friends in USA and they say that since the taxes for single status are more than the taxes for married status, the US Govt will not really be interested in prosecuting this case. What can I do now?

A. First, claiming to be ‘single’ is a lie. Whether it is beneficial to the Govt or not is secondary.

Secondly, married people do not have a choice to file either as married or single. They have a choice between whether to file ‘married filing jointly’ or ‘married filing separately’.

(By the way, it is not necessary that taxes on single status are necessarily more than married status. It would depend on the spouse income and associated deductions).

All in all, You have a strong case. Go ahead and make IRS etc aware that she is a tax offender. Then use the same in Indian court to prove that she is a habitual liar with questionable integrity.

As a matter of fact, I have such grounds too in my personal case. My wife is claiming to be single in her tax returns. She even claimed to be single in her visa application. I am waiting for an appropriate moment to initiate action. Once lies of this magnitude are detected in her visa application, she might be barred from entering USA forever. I believe in staggered approach (Read more at http://wp.me/plC3a-bd)

Q. Are you not afraid that your wife will sue you for defamation because you have created these blogs?

A. At present, there is no law in India where a husband can not say ‘I love my wife’. At the rate things are deteriorating in the country, that day is not far but till today, I do not know of a law that can prohibit me from saying I love my wife.

Apart from that, there is some factual information mentioned about me on my blogs. There is nothing illegal in that either.

Remaining all information is either legal advice or discussions.

Which of the above three parts do you think she can sue me for?

Q. My wife filed a Domestic Violence case now. I already have a 498a case running. Can she file a new case on similar allegations? My lawyer says this is double jeopardy and should not be allowed.

A. There is more to law than meets the eye initially.

Similar allegations do not imply double jeopardy. Similar prayer / proceedings arising out of similar allegations is double jeopardy.

E.g. there can be exactly the same allegations in 498 and divorce but that is not double jeopardy. Similarly if the prayer in DV is to get a residence order, while the prayer in 498 was to punish u for torture, then there is no
double jeopardy even if the allegations are a photocopy.

Q. My lawyer told me that 498a can not be filed after 7 years of marriage. Is that true?

A. Your lawyer needs to upgrade her knowledge. The only relevance of the 7 year period in law is – If a woman died under un-natural circumstances before completion of 7 years, then it is assumed to be a dowry death, and the onus shifts on the accused to prove his innocence.

498-A can be filed at any time, even after 70 years of marriage.

Having said that, you might wish to read Cr.P.C. 467/ 468 that talks about period of limitation, but that is the period elapsed since the alleged offense.

Q. I have heard many cases where the lawyers have cheated their clients. Are all lawyers bad?

A. In all these cases, there is conflict of interest between you and the lawyer. The more you lose, the more the lawyer gains.

E.g. let us say a party’ files for divorce, and you are paying ‘x’ rupees to the lawyer per appearance in court. As a party, you would expect that your lawyer gets you justice as soon as possible, but then the lawyer loses his steady income flow. Therefore why would he not prolong the case?

As an alternate, if you pay the lawyer a lump sum amount for the whole case, then also after a few years he would ask for a second payment on one pre-text or the other. Also, if you make all payment upfront, the lawyer loses interest in your case very quickly. Also, you will not have the option to change the lawyer. You are stuck.

Another example of conflict of interest is – the lawyer will instigate you to file cases that are not actually required. In my personal case, I can tell you one such case. My wife filed a case of Judicial Separation under Sec 10 of HMA. The case was not required at all. I am sure her lawyer fooled them into believing the relevance of the case.

He would have told something like – if the husband files a case under Sec 9 for restitution of conjugal rights, then it will be a problem for the wife. Hence, we should now only take an order of judicial separation (or some such non-sense). The lawyer might have also made them believe that judicial separation is the first step towards divorce.

So now you see my point? Lawyers make money every time a case is filed and therefore they would keep on making you believe that you need all those cases.

Another example of conflict of interest – When a person is arrested, if you get the bail on the same day then it is OK;  otherwise lawyers might make you believe that bribing is the only way to get bail as most of these criminal cases are non-bailable. And then people do end up paying a handsome amount of money to the lawyer – may be he pays out a part of it, but some part goes into his pocket too.

Similarly from the settlement amount, all the lawyers will usually get a ‘cut’ from one of the parties (or may be both).  Actually, this is the part where the lawyers make most money, hence they always would advice to settle the matter amicably. If the court cases go on, they would probably make ‘y’ rupees over 5 years, and if settlement happens, they would make ’10y’ in 1 year.

To conclude, principal – agent theory applies to a client – attorney relationship. You would expect your attorney to work in your best favor, but that does not happen most of the times.

The best remedy is to educate yourself about law. Meet people who are going through similar situations in their lives.

Q. My wife has filed for divorce. I am currently abroad. My lawyer tells me that if I do not reach the court on next date. The judge will give her one-sided divorce. Is that true?

A. Let me clarify on some of the things here:

1. Ex-parte is a very valid process of law.

It has to be used in rarest of rare cases. Initially the concept was introduced in order to accommodate divorce cases of military personnel who went missing in wars.
Note: only men go and die in wars. so the concept of ex-parte was introduced to give relief to women.
If a ‘Jawaan’ / soldier goes missing on war front, then how will the wife gets divorce. So, wife will apply for divorce in the court, try everything to locate the husband. E.g. summons will be sent repeatedly, news is published in the newspaper etc. And if everything fails, then after a period of 7 years ex-parte divorce can be granted.
That was the history. In the present scenario also, ‘all’ efforts to inform the other party need to take place, and it can easily be 2-3 years before the ex-parte stage is reached.
Moreover, ex-parte decisions are very easy to re-open. Think about it – some techie goes to US on an on-site assignment for a year, his wife could not join him. After he went away, wife initiated divorce proceedings without his knowledge, gets ex-parte divorce, he comes back and realizes that he is divorced! Marriage is a strong institution in India.
Coming to your case – Lawyers will make you scared about ex-parte because they start to make money once you start to get represented in the court. Also, somewhere at the back of their mind, they are afraid  that you will find a better lawyer.

Q. Your blog has several court judgments. What about the law? Are judgments law? How are judgments different from law?

A. Law is a matter of interpretation. Judgments are interpretations of law.

For anyone who is interested in learning law, s/he must read the ‘bare acts’ (actual law text) first.

Till now, I do not have those on my blog till now; because I started this blog when I was close to finishing my LLB; hence I was very familiar with the law text.

Analyzing judgments is probably the most sophisticated task that practising lawyers do. (There are more complex tasks but then that becomes academics and not practice).


394 Responses to “FAQ – Frequently asked questions”

  1. Ajay Kumar Reddy said

    My wife is charged on me under sec. 498A in which there is no matter of Dowary, She has launched the 498A because she breached my house lock & my wife & her parents are residing on my house & court has issued the “Jamanati Warrant” on them so she applied on me & my parents under sec498A. There is no injusry no medical report along with the repor even that in her evidence there is no matter of injury or Dowary. Then plz tell me can i go for quash.

    Ajay Kumar Reddy

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Dear Ajay

      One of the essential ingredients of IPC 498-A is “unlawful demand”.

      Crulety under 498-A is defined as “harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand”.

      It appears to me that there is no “unlawful demand” mentioned in your case. If that is correct, then you are right in saying that the case should be ‘dismissed’.

      Now, there are several ways to achieve this legally.
      1. Apply for quash under Crpc 482
      2. Apply for discharge under section 239
      3. Apply for alteration of charge under section 216

      Hope this helps

      • Ram Sharma said

        Charges are framed in my case against me and my family . I do have some evidences which can be used to drop 406 on my mother ( basically no entrustment of dowry articles to my mother )? Can I use section 216 in the trail court to drop 406 against my mother? Thanks

    • Fighter said

      Hi Mr, Reddy,

      I think in your case, your in laws and wife forcefully occupied your house. Did you register police complaint or FIR or any court case against the same. What was the outcome ?
      In my case also, similar things are happening and I want to know if filing case to vacate one’s house by his wife and in-laws is acceptable as crime or breach of trust in court of law ?


  2. Pravin said

    Myself and my wife have been staying in different cities since 1year 8 months. Currently iam staying with my father and my wife wants to stay in a separate house and does not want my father to stay with me. They have been threatening me since 1.5 years and not allowing me to see my kid unless i take a separate flat and stay with her. My father in law is the root cause of all this issue. I have filed for restitution of Conjugal rights .

    I want to know if she does not come back can I file for child custody even before divorce? My father in law is saying that they wont agree for divorce neither they will allow me to see my kid and he is claiming that he knows law a lot …. Can I fight for my child custody legally and how to plan for this ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Women often use children as a blackmailing tool.

      You have not mentioned the child’s age. For a man, getting sole custody of a young child is almost impossible.

      Divorce is not a pre-requisite for child custody. Also do not wait for the outcome of RCR (section 9 HMA).

      I would suggest you to fight for child visitation rights as a first step, and once you win the battle there, proceed to the next level to ask for child custody.

  3. Gautam said


    My lawyer is planning to file for FIR Quashing (chargesheet has already been prepared)
    One of the grounds for quashing being considered is jurisdiction. In the FIR my wife has said that Me and my parents have demanded money from her in her home town (but no mention of cruelty). She has alleged cruelty and money demand in my home town though. My questions are

    1) Could this be a ground for quashing as 498a means cruelty is a must. Mere demand of money doesn’t attract 498a. So no 498a offence committed in her home town even if the FIR is taken at face value.

    2) Can we prodcue evidences from our side during FIR quashing? My lawyer has asked for them.


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      Some High Courts say that ‘FIR is quashed’ but what they mean to say is ‘Criminal proceedings arising out of FIR are quashed’. In your case, since the chargesheet has been filed, that might be taken into account while quashing.

      Jurisdiction is a ground for Quash but remember – quash happens only in the rarest of rare cases. And being truthful, I think the chances of your case getting quashed are very less.

      Some of the judgments that u can use are

      – 2 judgments about 498a not being a continuing offence

      – In case the opponent lawyer try to argue based on what is written in the Crpc 161 statements recorded by the police, present the judgment that improved allegations are immaterial

      – Usually evidence is not looked into at the time of quash, but please use the judgment regarding examination of evidence during quash. Disclosing all the evidence at this stage is questionable. It would depend on the kind of evidence. You might want to save some trump cards for a later date and not reveal everything right now. If you share more details, I can advice more.

      All these judgments are available on this blgo itself.

      Even if the case is not quashed it might easily mean a delay of 12-18 months in the case proceedings. That itself will frustrate the opponent a lot.

      Most important – either you or someone from family should be in touch with local activist team.

  4. iluvshrutiverma said


    I would request that we stick to blog communication. This way others can also benefit from the discussed law points.

    I understand your concerns about confidentiality specially when you would suspect your wife to be following these blogs. But trust me, her finding out your intentions does not matter.

    Think about me – I have many active cases today also. And I care a damn if my wife reads my blogs and figures out my approach.

    Still if you feel that some post of yours needs to be kept private . Just mention a line at the end of your comment, and I shall reply to you privately (and not post your comment on my blog).

  5. Gautam said


    Actually I wanted to send you a copy of my FIR and wanted your views regarding the same. However, I understand what you mean. In fact whatever knowledge I have till date about 498a is only after reading about other’s cases and experiences. I will try to post my queries to the blog itself.

    I have one question

    In my case, the chargesheet has no material evidences to establish dowry demand or cruelty. In fact, There are no specific allegations regarding cruelty in the FIR. It just says that cruelty or marpeet was done. However, in the chargesheet there are statements of few home witnesses who re-iterate whatever is in the complaint. Can the girl’s side concoct/add evidences later on during trial or this is it?

    • iluvshrutiverma said


      I am very happy that you agree with my logic of blog communication. It is this bonding between the harassed husbands of this nation that will take our movement to the next level.

      From your description of FIR/ statements, your side of the case looks really strong, but as you probably might have learned already ‘There is more to law than that meets the eye’.

      So I have to request you to spend sometime typing the FIR and the witness statements and put it here, so that I can provide you with exact advice.

      I understand that it will take a few hours to type, but you would need to type them someday anyways (when you approach higher courts).

      If I were to make a recommendation only from the facts that you have already mentioned – then this case should not even go for trial. It would be a waste of judicial time because without any material evidence, the prosecution will never be able to prove it’s case. (Search for Supreme Coutr judgment in case of Kapur on this blog).

      Coming to your question, it is not possible to add material facts to the case now, that stage is already over. That is why most honorable courts of this country say that “belated FIR leads to exagerration”. In your case, it’s already FIR, CS etc. They can not keep cooking up stuff to make their story more fool proof.

      • Gautam said

        Thanks for your encouraging reply. I am still skeptical to posting exact details about my case on open blog as it is only 3 months old. I am already pestered enough by my wife on how she is so grossly miss-using the law to her advantage + how she was able to file a false criminal case against me and my family so easily and now cashing it in whatever way she can. I want to fight this menace but with strategy and caution.

        However, I would appreciate if it is still possible to communicate with you through emails initially. Once you have knowledge about my case details, I can go ahead and post questions on the blog + relevant case information so that others can benefit as well.


    • raj said

      You can make the FIR/CS details suppressing the personal details. Taking away the personal details I am sure the FIR/CS will look like a regular template. Ex: Hubby harrassed me to bring 100000 rupees. MIL torchered me and beaten me.

  6. Praneet said

    Things are not going to improve unless more people like you are going to take up law and politics

  7. aamele said

    Do your bit mister. All of us suffer ! The objective is to get a SC judgment on objective thinking so one screws up in constitutional terms. No.1 we remove caste discrimination – then gender discrimination. So, we have a long way to go. Once caste goes – A 15(3) goes – god forbid the children(i will support for eternity for children).

  8. Ravi said

    Hi, I have been fighting against this kind of false case from past 3 yrs, and I was losing hope of getting justice from our courts and system. After looking at your site and reading through it, I am bit hopeful now :).
    As you have studied law, I have one or two legal questions. Let me explain the legal situation now. (I will not tell about the other 1000 problems anyway, as all of us here would have undergone the same trauma 😦 )
    Three cases filed against me.
    1. 498A – I applied for quashing and is stayed by HC. Opposite party is not receiving the notice at all!!
    2. Maintenance – My lawyer cheated me and they could produce the sal certificate and got 8K per month as interim maintenance!! It is still pending before the court. they are not coming for witness at all.
    3. Restitution of conjugal rights – I have to file my reply yet.
    As I am working in a software company, they are behind the money(as usual). I want to know if I leave my company now (I dont have any other income), can I ask the court to reduce the maintenance amount? In that case, what might be the amount that the court may decide?

    Based on this, I can go ahead with other cases, otherwise more and more lawyers will be cheating me as they will be hopeful of getting a ‘share’ of either the maintenance/settlement.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Hi, I feel honored by reading the first sentence of your post. Thank you for the kind words.

      About the courts and systems – they are slow and imperfect BUT we should leverage all these facts to our advantage.

      3 years is a long time. Things should have been in your total control by now. The initial period (1 year or so) is catostrophic for the husband, but if the husband decides to fight back then actually the system is in favour of husband. Usually wife wants system to do things for her, the system is too slow, and hence the wife will get frustrated.

      1. Section 498 of the IPC is a matter against the state (it is not a matter between you and your wife, it is a matter between you and the state). So Quash can happen even if your wife does not take the notice.

      2. Lawyers cheat often, that is the reason I always insist that litigants at least become law-aware if not lawyers themselves.

      3. Of course maintenance changes with ‘change of circumstances’.

      Maintenance amount would depend on many factors like your present salary/ her education/ who filed RCR, whether there are kids or not etc etc. But it shall surely reduce significantly if u can prove that ur income has fallen to zero.

      • Ravi said

        Yes, We also thought we were in total control, but the fact was that our lawyer behind the scenes was dealing with those guys. As you said, the problem was not in the system but with our lawyer itself. The judge was reluctant to give any judgement, but these guys filed Restitution of Conjugal rights which forced him to give this judgement.
        As the case is going on in some other place, many things will go on behind the back which made us difficult to track. But at least we have the stay in 498A case.

        Is there any forum/meeting which is held so that I can also participate in such things. If you can send the details to my mail or in this forum, it will help me.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Oh, there are problems in the system as well – plenty of them, but we should use all those properties of the system to our advantage. You tell me one bad property of the system and I will tell you how to use it to your advantage.

        About the lawyer, you might want to read my views in the FAQ section of this blog.

        There are forums and meetings in almost every medium sized city of the country today. Give me 2-3 days, I will put up a list of contact details on this blog. (This has been pending since a while. I have all the phone numbers scattered here and there, I need to make time to collate them and organize them in a presentable fashion).

      • raj said

        You may participate in active forums where you get involved with other victims.

        One thing I noticed and experienced is that we all worry more about 498a which needs the proof of beyond the doubt. On other hand we give less importance to DV RCR,and maintenace which will produce more damages on money wise. So let all us give attention on these slow killers as well as 498a gun.

  9. vishal said

    My Wife has filled Complaint in CAW cell , copy of same is received by me . I have received red alert from CAW cell as wife has decined to re-counsile and mentioned that she is only intrested in filling case against me SO I/O has handed over list of Stridhan articles to me …

    1. In her Annexture she has mentioned on top LIST OF DOWRY Articles.But I/o Has written that that copy of Stridhan articles is handed over to husband . CAN i play something in my reply using these points?

    2. Is it a right time to start process of AB “actully i have already started that , but can ask lawyer to hold for some time if u advise”

    3. In her list of articles ,she has mentioned few articles which does not belong to her ..I have bills of those articles with me on my name … which are purchased long back before marriage.I want this thing to hit her hard . Can i play somethoing here to grep her in some criminal cases like 340 or something as she has intentally given false list..to extract money.
    what should be the plan when to disclose those bills 🙂 ,. PLease advise

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1. Like what?

      2. The earlier the better. Once AB is done, 90% of your problems are over.

      3. This is not the right stage to do anything like 340. Just keep quiet about the bills you have. The CAW complaint is not final. If you reveal your cards now, they will improve the complaint. CAW cell is actually a phase to make the complaint fool-proof. They will see what evidence you have in your defense and modify the complaint story accordingly.

      • Fighter said

        Does it mean Vishal had to return all the list items mentioned by her dear wife, even if there is no proof with her to purchase the items by herself or her parents ? I think he could have mentioned CAW to ask girl to produce the bills/proofs of the StreeDhan list, which ideally should have been signed by both parties under the section 2 of DP act , at the time of marriage only..What is practical solution here ?

      • Ram Sharma said

        Whatever she gives as complain finally get converted into FIR. So technically, there should be no improvement of complain.

        Do we have any judgement which says that bills need to have proper Bill Number to claim the articles? It may not be related to 498A, but could be related to any other case.


  10. Saket said

    Sir, After receiving a copy of my wife’s petition in CRPC 125 worded in local language (Tamil), I requested a translation to English as I belong to a different native state. However, the Judge rejected my request as my lawyer knows Tamil and he should be able to translate the petition to English. What should I do now? Can you please help? You seem to know much more than any lawyer or even judge I have seen in the last 1 year.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Simply ask the learned judge: Will the translation of the petition by your lawyer be acceptable in the eyes of law?

      I am reasonably certain that the learned judge will not say yes, but in case he does, then actually get the petition translated by your lawyer/ any friend who knows Tamil; and then see how I modify it to your advantage.

      Changing one word by another word meaning ALMOST the same can change the entire meaning conveyed. E.g. if you are following the change in laws, earlier this year Cr.P.C. 41 (power of a police officer to arrest without a warrant) was amended. There was big news in almost all newspapers also talking about how there shall be no arrest in 498-A cases now. Do you know what had changed in actual law? JUST ONE WORD. The word ‘may’ was changed to ‘will’.

      You can read the details about the Cr.P.C. amendments at

  11. Harish kumar said

    Pl, advice me.
    i have got ex- pary divorce with in 1 and 1/2 year.can she get stay in HC or in same court against this ex- pary divorce.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      It is a fairly easy task to ‘stay’ / ‘open’ an ex-parte order.

      It is a well established principal of natural law that both the parties need to be heard before the judge (referee between two parties under dispute) makes a decision.

  12. Vikram said

    do audio recordings count as evidence or only the video recordings ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You can read the details here: http://www.legalservicesindia.com/articles/trc1.htm

      My summary: There are all kinds of decisions in the past. You need to be smart and knowledgeable to present only the judgments favorable to you. Eg. There are several judgments that say 498a is a continuing offense, but on my blog you would find only the judgments where the courts have ruled that 498a is not a continuing offense. These were the only judgments useful in my case. Bringing all points of view in front of the court is not my responsibility 🙂

  13. Rohit said

    I have queries over maintenance decisions: I came to know that lower court has fixed X amount as maintenance for my wife. I think under it should be under section 24 as under section 125 court can maximum set 5K as maintenace ( I might be wrong ). The issue as my in-laws used local pressure and politics to set up the maintenace amount. Btw, my wife is M.Tech (Computer Science) and used to work as lecturer. Now what all options I have .. and If I fail to pay the amount what will happen? Please let me know. I have read one decision regarding “Jaiswal” where she was denied maintenace… Shall I leave my job to defend maintenace … Please let me know..


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      There is no max limit on maintenance. If I remember correctly, there used to be a max limit of 3K till 1976. But now there is no limit. I might be wrong about the year 1976 but I am reasonably sure about 3K, and I am 100% sure that there is no limit today

      And buddy, your wife is a woman. All the sex starved men support her. She doesn’t need any local political pressure to make your life miserable.

      Do not leave your job to defende maintenance. If you are planning to switch jobs, then apply for ‘revision’ because of ‘change in circumstances’.

      Meanwhile, if economical (depending on the maintenance amount decided), appeal in High Court.

      If you do not pay, what will happen – well nothing will happen for a long time. As per law, you can ultimately be sent to jail but that usually does not happen because the judge wants to screw you but at the same time give money to your wife. By sending you to prison, he accomplishes the first part but not the second. Hence, imprisonment is the last resort in family court cases.

      • Rohit said

        My case was not in family court as my wife is from small town and there is no family court. I was reading few articles here and there and I found that I can challenge the court decision in lower court itself. I need to show my liabilities to defend my case. (Why these judge dont understand that Husband can also have liabilities.. I had home loan .. my fathers and my saving went to clean up the loan.. and there are more other liabilities also) I am planning to do that .. lets see what happens …… One more thing can wife go to the court and can influence the Judge …

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        You can request for a revision in the same court – the effect is the same, just that u dont call it ‘challenging the order’, u can request the court to re-consider it’s decision, though the chances are less unless there is a significant change in circumstances.

        wife does not have to go and influence the judge. by default, all the sex starved men favor women – specially the women that are unknown to them, their sexual ego is gratified by helping women.

        visualize the situation that ur wife’s scooty breaks down on the road, how many men do u think wud stop to help her?

        in contrast if your bike breaks down, do u think anyone wud bother?

        not that all those who are stopping to help her actually envisage being in bed with her, but offering help to a woman inflates their sexual ego…..and that is precisely the mindset judges also have…..

        reminds me of a joke – once the judge ordered “keeping in mind facts of the case blah blah blah… i have decided to grant 5k per month to the wife”….. the husband politely said “sure, thats fair…. i will also try to give something from my side” (judge said I HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE….)

      • Rohit said

        good man .. you explains every thing with good examples… I was just thinking of the situation … might not be relevant though …

        In my case in-laws have filed false 498A case… suppose in case I go to the court and suddenly I got arrested in case of section 3/4 of dowry case which is very well feasible..
        So is there any other section except 498A/304B/3/4/323 where I need to get the bail from court … meaning non bailable offences… And what all sections I can file to arrest my in laws in non bailable offenses …

        And how much time does it take to convert the anti-dowry complain into FIR …Does in this section also there would be arrest without even investigation …


      • Rohit said

        What does ANR. meaning?

        My Wife NAME Petitioner(s)


        MY NAME & ANR. Respondent(s)

        I want to know what is ANR. Means?? I would be Respondent No.1. Who would be Respondent No2. Please explain


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        ANR. means another.

        Every industry has it’s own jargon. Like we used to use ‘Et al’ in scientific journals, legal fraternity uses ‘Ors’ or ‘Anr’ (Others or another).

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        it is not possible to get call recordings – because call recordings do not exist!

        through rti, u can get only the information that exists.

        it is possible to get the list of numbers (there was a case in kanpur), but as u rightly said that does not really help

  14. Ramakant said

    From where you did LLB? was it a a full time or part time

    • Rohit said

      The biggest problem in these cases when your lawyer is not faithful … Does it really help if we get LLB degree .. There was one amendment recently that the accused can also argue in the court along with the vakils … ( At least in lower case ) …

      My wife is 500KM away from my native place and hence all the cases are 500 KM away from me .. I dont know how to control my vakil in this case … as I cannt go to each and every date in the court …. I have already lost section 125 case and court has granted 20K per month to my wife .. I dont know how my vakil fought the case … Thats is the biggest issue man …

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        About the lawyer being not faithful, search for ‘conflict of interest’ at http://wp.me/PwezX-K

        One does not study law in order to appear as petitioner-in-person. Some other major reasons are:
        1. To be able to guide your lawyer in the correct direction
        2. To know whether he is taking you for a ride
        3. Lawyers only have been taught how to fight cases from a woman’s point of view
        4. Most law students took up law because they could not get into other better professions, as a result lawyers do not really know a lot about all sections of law. They just know the regularly used ‘sections’ of law. While in our case, sometimes the lesser known provisions of law can be a life-saver.

        20K is big money, crpc 125 should be used primarily to avoid destitution and not for equality of standards. Please answer the following:
        1. how much do u earn?
        2. is this interim or final maintenance?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      I did my LLB from Jodhpur.

      I had to go there only to give exams (once a year for 3 years).

      • Rohit said

        Yes .. I know 20K is big money .. … I will discuss in detail once i get AB man .. I am getting cheated here and there … thats what I told you before also … that there is hell lot of political pressure and local pressure ….

  15. Rohit said

    Following links could be useful



    It seems that the case between “Arushee Halder v/s Debnarayan Halder” could be use ful in case of men fighting with maintenace case. Can someone get the above decision.

  16. DURGA SINGH said

    In the judgment provided on your site under link/heading: https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/streedhan-proceedings-legal-evidence-required/….. i believe sir, the complete text of the judgment is not there. I think some/lot text is missing. Even the dt of judgment is 1960, and citation info is written 1975 !!
    Sir, if the judgment is ok, can you provide the same at my email id. It will be of great help.
    Thanks and best regards,

    • DURGA SINGH said

      Can you provide me the ‘header’ (i hope i have correctly used this term) info so that i can search the judgment in the law books. The book info required is of the judgment under our site link “https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/streedhan-proceedings-legal-evidence-required…”
      Thanks and regards,

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        1960 AIR 862, 1960 SCR (3) 311


      • DURGA SINGH said

        I have searched 1960 AIR 862. This has some judgment on jagirdari system. Nothing remotely related with the case on website. Could not get my hands on SCR(3) 311.
        Let me rephrase everything. Sir, i require the book name, volume and page no. of the following judgment on our webiste “https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/streedhan-proceedings-legal-evidence-required…”.
        Where can i locate this judgment, in which book/vol/pg no., etc. I will be of great help and support if you could direct me to this book.
        Thanks and regards,

  17. Rohit said

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoGF4ONpvP4 == Just watch this .. how NCW getting exposed

  18. phani said

    my filled filled 498a then she filled RCR sec 9 on me what is the stargy i can follow?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Sec 9 is really not dangerous.

      She has filed Sec 9 only to make grounds for filing of Sec 24. Worry about Sec 24, that is the case where she can gain (and u can lose) a lot.

      For Sec 9 – strategy can be – she can come back as soon as 498a is over

  19. Parkash said

    i want to protect my parents from harassment.

    they have disowned me and her but i want to know can she still harass my parents. if yes then how?

    if need be you can tell me in private so that women’s prying eyes could not read your advice to their gain.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Do not worry about women’s prying eyes. They have far too many supporters elsewhere than to visit blogs of men’s rights activists (like myself).

  20. Parkash said

    My wife verbally abused my parents and siblings.

    Now I am fed up with her and her family. I have been reading the valuable inputs from your website, and I am convinced that these butterflies know very well how to exploit the law and society. So I am not going to entangle myself in the long chase of mirage that costs time, money, loss of respect, to get divorce.

    If on holidays, I stay away from her, and go to my acquantainces then can I do that legally ? Does any law prohibit me from going to my friend’s or relative’s or organisation’s place or any place on earth ?
    Somebody said that I can go anywhere provided I do not let her know my address ?

    Please guide me. Please ask me any question if that is required by you to guide me better.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You are a perfect example of what feminists of this country wanted to make us. We are scared of even visiting a friend without prior permission of our wives. I completely see where you are coming from and this society has reached alarming amounts of ‘fear’.

      Anyways – it is perfectly fine for you to have your own vacations with your acquaintances and friends.

      DV Act is where it might fit into, but DV act is so loosely drafted that she can say that ‘he doesnt love me anymore’ and that will be called ‘domestic violence’. But DV act is a civil remedy so unless you think it is more economical to bear with her day and night, one should not be afraid of the DV act. In other words, through DV act she might get some money, residence order etc, but that is all – no arrest etc happens there.

  21. Sinha said

    Hello Dear Mr. Verma,

    My ex-wife (though still legally married) earns a handsome salary around 45k p.m. (sw engg. in MNC) and is living in my house forcibly (police complaints were done for that by me). We have a 1 year old son, who is kept by her again forcibly. as she works , so child does not live even with her, he has to live with his maternal grand parents in other city. I want to get the child with me and would be happy to bring him up our family way with me with the support of my parents and extended family. In these circumstances, my wife has filed section 24 in response to my divorce petition and asking for a huge monthly amount for kid and for herself. I want to know, if you could tell that if I am ready to take kid with me, can she still ask for maintenance for child and despite her earning status. What do you think ? can I fight on the grounds that I am ready to take the kid with me and he is forced to live with his maternal grand parents, away from his mother and father both. As per my knowledge, I could not find any related judgement so far on this. if you could help from your legal prowess ? Besides, she is asking for litigation expenses under sec-24. What should be practical amount that should qualify as litigation expense ?
    If you could reply earlier, it will help, as I am preparing reply for our next date, which is given on a very short interval.


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      You did not mention how much you earn. Her earning 45k pm sounds like big at the beginning, but women are shrewd and men are idiots – women always will find someone who earns 2-3 times of what they earn. Now if you earn 1.5 Lacs pm then there is an income differential and I won’t be surprised if the judge tries to give her/son something.

      Your wanting the kid is a positive point but knowing that the whole world thinks women make a better parent, I will not say that the chances are high that you will get the kid.

      But your line of argument is simple – 45k is 10 times the per capita income of this country, hence it is a lot of money. Child stays away from her hence child should be given to me.

      By the way, you are lucky that at least she is accepting that she earns. My darling wife works for Infosys and still claimed to be unemployed.

      • Sinha said

        Thanks for replying,

        I am earning around 95k take home p.m. Annual package is around 24 L. I have some large deductions and annual variable components and I have around 20000 home loan EMI on the top of it. So net usable salary could be claimed less say around 75k or so.

        I learnt Justice Dhingra judgement and it states that mere salary difference between husband and wife should not allow section 24 order, if wife is earning decent salary. Anyways I am going to quote that and fight on that grounds.

        for wife having to divulge her employment details, may be because I have all her salary records and bank details with me till the time she lived together with me. After that she forced me out of my own house for which I made written complaints into Police and then subsequently filed for divorce based on desertion & cruelty.

        Now post desertion she purchased a property and started 35k as EMI for the same, so she is claiming that she is earning 5k per month after fulfilling all her commitments. This property purchase was made after day of desertion. She has good bank balance on the day of desertion and I have her bank statements for the same. I am going to present them all to dear judge.

        She is asking for 50k as litigation expense and 5k per date for taxi allowance in the same city. I don’t know how much court will find them reasonable.

        OP Sinha

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Dear Sinha,

        I understand and appreciate your logic. But by now, you must have figured out that everyone (men and women) are against the man in any man – woman battle.

        Dhingra is one of the few sensible judges. Most of the rest are biased in favor of women. Their sexual ego is boosted everytime they make a decision in favor of women.

        I understand that your wife is not asking money for herself. Now one way to look at it is that if the child has 15000 expenditure per month. She contributes 5k and you contribute 10k (in proportion of your respective incomes – I have not calculated the actual numbers but explaining the numbers).

        Your best bet is that you should be given the child since the child is not staying with her anyway. No one can raise a child as good as a parent (not even a grandparent). Hence the child should be raised by you, she can visit the child every weekend like the way she visits now.

        Finally, it depends on the judge’s mindset – which is almost always against men.

        By the way, see my guess was right that you earn 1.5L + p.m. – I knew women will very rarely marry someone who doesn’t earn 2-3 times as much as them. They are street smart creatures. We men are idiots!

      • Annonymous said

        Hey I work in Infy (am a woman who feels bad for you…been reading this blog because my brother is stuck in a loveless and abusive marriage and I have been recommending a separation to him rather than going along with his wife’s idea of having a baby just because her mother and other relatives expect them to) -kinda felt really bad for you and the way your wife took you for a ride.

        I happened to look up Shruti verma on the Infy telephone directory –found 2 but both of them have comparitively recent employee ids. Both are in Bangalore. Anyways, thought that perhaps you could check -she might have changed her employer -I mean just might help you in your next dealing with her.


      • iluvshrutiverma said


        Thank for you being compassionate.

        Shruti Verma has left Infosys. She is with Cognizant now.

        And I am once again lucky – because I have managed to find a person who knows her room mate very well so through that channel I have been getting all the information 🙂

  22. Rohan said

    Hi All,

    Do you think re-conciling with a woman who once went to the extent of threatening husband with false court cases and made his life miserable by her behaviour and daily snags, left matrimonial home more than once in anger and then tried to blackmail husband by asking hefty amounts otherwise filing false cases, is workable in long terms ??

    Rohan Sundaram

    • J said

      Hey Rohan,
      I am a woman who is (touch wood!)married happily to a man I respect and love and who reciprocates in the same way. Using only that as my qualification of sanity, please trust me when I say that a woman who you described is certainly neurotic. Come to think of it -my undergrad education in Psychology (however little it may be) also would result in my coming to the same conclusion. If this person does not agree to joint counseling (and I am sure she does not -pretty much like my own sister in law who is the bane of my brother’s life), it pretty much proves that she does not intend to do something about her perceived unhappy state of mind but actually revels in her misery. These people can not be helped by normal people like you and me ..they just don’t want to change. Please salvage your life and move on -you don’t want to regret at the age of 90 that the last 50 or 60 years of your life were spent with someone who hated you…

  23. Suresh said


    I am to submit my reply (WS) to wife’s sec-24 petition. I wanted to quote some previous judgements to support my arguments, what is the right stage to quote. Should I do it in my WS or should I do during pleading. My advocate says judgements are to be quoted only during pleading and not in your WS. Could you suggest the process to quote judgements ? and whether we need to get certified copies from corresponding courts to quote.


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      I have heard several advocates say the same thing, but I prefer to include the judgments in the WS.

      • suresh said

        When I refer , do I need to get certified copies and if yes then how do one get them ?
        Judgements are from different highcourts.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        I did not need certified copies of the judgments. I attached plain typed complete content in English.

        If you were to need certified copies, there is a section in the high court from where you can get a certified copy.

        You can also get the same through a cheap lawyer or through RTI.

      • Wonder said

        Hi ILSV,

        i just posted similar request and i got my answer. thanks you can cancel my previous question

  24. Pratham said

    Could you tell if it is proper to produce wife’s salary and bank documents by husband before court, if he possess that, officialy or he should go through RTI or via court to procure her salary and bank records officially ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You can just produce the documents as long as they are genuine. The method used to obtain the documents is not really relevant. If the wife is actually exceptionally smart, it can lead to some small complications if the documents were obtained using ‘illegitimate’ methods, but all that can be handled easily when the time comes. For now, go ahead and produce whatever you have.

      • Pratham said

        Thanks for reply, Do I need to submit photocopies only or do I also need to produce corresponding originals at some stage ? what do you think ? I think as far as smartness is concerned, it may all be routine job for advocates..so they can do what is guessable..


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Just the photocopies should be enough. If the contents are true, then your wife will not dispute. Hence, no need for originals even later.

        Even if you do not have the originals, the court can always send summons to the employer.

      • Pratham said

        Thanks for reply, one more advice sought about section 24. I think as per act, though it is interim in nature, but it is not time bound to deliver judgement on a speedy basis, so if I try to take one or two additional dates while working on my reply, is that fine or can go against me ? I know it is effective from date of application and my divorce petition goes on hold, till this is settled. basically should I try to expedite this hearings at all from my side ? I guess not, but my advocate says that this reply should be given as early as possible. do you see any point in that strategy ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Read here – http://wp.me/plC3a-bs how a Delhi HC judge is explaining that a 3 date case is dragged to more than 100 hearings!

        This is India. I always say – As far as the court’s efficiency is concerned, it is a level playing field between you and your wife. Court procedures are going to be damn slow, make the most of it.

        You should not have applied for divorce in the first place.

  25. Rajveer said

    Hi Sir

    I am quite impressed to see that you have been such big help to all the people here and I have rarely seen people going beyond a point to help other- I would just like to say that God bless you for such kind Act.

    I have a few questions

    1. My Wife has filed two cases against me
    a.) 498a ( wont waste your time with details)
    b.) Domestic violence

    My questions

    1. In domestic violence case she is claiming the house maintenance/electricity , I am already paying the rent for this house which is already quite high and I have a date in next week, where in I think Judge can order me to pay the Maintenance and Electricity charges. My wife is also earning handsomely ( around 50k P.M) and can easily afford to pay everything but she is using the false means to get money out of me.

    I am already under a huge debt paying lawyers fees and I had to give an interim relief to her for couple of lacs.

    What are the best measures can I take to circumvent my situation, moreover I would like to know if there are any judgements which can be of use

    Looking forward for your advice

    Thanks in anticipation


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      What interim relief worth couple of lacs are you talking about? Please do not be stupid. Take care of your finances, accept that the marriage has broken.

      1. Are you staying in the same house? If not, then why are you paying even the rent?

      About my helping others I am glad and proud that I am being able to; you should also equip yourself with knowledge and expertize else these wives and lawyers will keep fooling you endlessly.

      • Rajveer said

        I am not staying in that house anymore and still paying the rent….What are the ways that can help me save those things. she has filed a claim of more than 20 L and other than that wants to take more than 75% of my salary. I am a senior marketing manager with one of the Big Fours and she is constantly eying on my salary.

        I have old and feeble parents to take care of and younger unmarried sister.

        Things have been really creepy
        She is earning well enough more than 50k a month

        What should be my action items, the case will be decided on merits soon, may be in another 3-4 dates.

        I have enough stuff to back me up on merits but I think my lawyers are not good enough to handle that stuff, they are assuming that I will end up paying the rent and other things.

        The senior lawyers just want to make money out of me seeing my status and asking for odd 65-70k for DV and 1.75 for 498a , i think which is way too high

        If I stop the rent and services that I will surely be committing the DV and I dont want lose my merits.

        About interim relief, I had to pay off her debts to bail out my parents in 498a, which even she couldn’t prove and the judgment was one sided becoz she could use some influence and I dont have much contacts at high level. I didnt argue to cause my parents anymore inconvenience but now I want to fight it till one of us comes to their end

        Please advise, I think I wont be able to share documentary details on the open blog
        but I can send you the stuff privately. I am not afraid of her or her allies but dont want to open my cards soon.

        I dont give a F**** if she is reading this, if she is then I want to let her know that I will fight against injustice and false cases that she has filed to maline my family’s reputation. God is watching and he will do the just.

        Moreover we have our entire husband’s fraternity behind us.

        Looking forward for your comments and the strategy


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        you are not god so stop to worry about everyone else. in fact most of the times we do what is convenient for us but since our ego is boosted we tend to think that we are doing it for our parents/ siblings.

        as far as your rent/ dv prob is concerned, rent a cheaper accommodation and declare that as the matrimonial house. a friend of mine rented a place for Rupees 1200 per month rent and invited his wife to come and live with her.

        your hopes are too high if you are hoping that court cases can be decided on merits – the whole system is pro-women. the sex starved judges sitting there hardly will listen to you!

  26. akshat said

    i have been reading your site since long.I also re-iterate the same that your advices are straightforward and upto the point.My problem is so unique i don’t know whom to ask.i am also a victim of mental torture alongwith my parents and elders of my family.i didnt have sexual intercourse with her since a year and till date.i even consulted doc,he said i am normal,except this lies suicide drama, irresponsive parents ,threats to file cases we faced. She asked to be paid monthly,her mother asked to give her seperate home, her dad framed charges on us that my parents interfere, she said bad words about my parents , lies etc. They frightened us a lot. It is now that we realized we have to shun fear. Can the fact that i did not have sexual intercourse with her, cause me trouble? How can i ensure i get minimum loss?
    If you have any question please ask me. frankly speaking, god has been great that he made me strong enough not to commit suicide. I read somewhere in your site that one should not be in hurry to divorce. i have high hopes on you in that you will guide me as i have you do to all

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      thank u for your kind words.

      i do not find your problem unique. there are many women who are frigid.

      if there are threats to file cases then cases are likely to happen eventually. and fear of something that is going to happen in future is worse than the event actually happening. hence i might consider making the situation clear once and for all.

      see, we men are simple creatures. ambiguity and uncertainty irritates us. one fine day when they say ‘we will file cases’, u should tell them ‘get lost and do what you want’. once you become fearless, their ‘incentive’ to file cases reduces.

      moreover, for how long will you continue to live in hell just because there is a threat?

    • Akshat said

      nobody from their side is coming to us for any talks. we are deeply shocked at this. what kind of marriage is this ? just nobody from the girl’s family to talk to anyone from another(our) family? Our marriage is on the verge of divorce, and they say that they won’t come as that will complicate the issue further, and its not good on part of girl’s family to interfere in boy’s married life ?

      As of now, its a complete deadlock between two families, and we just do not know when are we going to face cases .

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        “nobody from their side is coming to us for any talks. we are deeply shocked at this.”

        why are you in a hurry for any talks? Stay put and enjoy life meanwhile

  27. Akshat said

    thank you for the prompt reply. you gave me the reply in a day. that shows how committed you are to your reader’s queries’ resolution.

    i wanted to know if the fact, i could not have sexual intercourse with her, can be used against me and what legal precautionary measures I must take to safe-gaurd the honor of my family.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      The honor of your family does not depend on any intercourse.

      Even if you would have had, she can go and talk whatever she wants to the world.

      Intercourse did not happen but that was perhaps because she was frigid (like most wives are).

  28. Akshat said

    The bizarre part of this is I asked my wife that did we commit any wrong action on them like asking for dowry and she kept silent !! This has set alarm bells ringing in my consciousness that are they thinking of filing dowry cases against us ? what is this ? are the beautiful look women of this country actually so ferocious and dreaded ?

  29. Akshat said

    I want to do something that nobody has done ever before. Please tell me what can i do in that case.

    • zinga said

      paranoia is not gonna help man. Silence from your wife to some questions, unwilling to accept good things that you might have did. its all signs, that she or her folks are gonna screw ya. the way out, fight back (hey that’s easier said than done), forget it all, face it as it comes (now that’s not easy either), get excited and build up some courage by reading all the posts by guys who have been to jail once, is living with multiple criminal cases filed against them (that’s easy, right, they are in a worse off situation, right?(or as some say, they were, but they’ve moved on)).

      speaking from a personal point of view, I learnt from reading all these blogs, that my case ( or your case) is/was very similar to another case or to a part of another case. Leaving alone, some born womanisers and flirts, most of the men love their wives, respect them and trust them, blindly. and when they turn back at ya (why? i wish i knew, even great philosophers never understood women and I never understood why these great men said that about women, till, i had my enlightening moment, lol), you wake up and realise, omg, i have slept through the game 😦 and the world calls me a loser…

      there are winners in this game, can be categorised as three: 1) the lucky ones (yeah, they are born that way, GOD chose ’em to be lucky in this regard, they were blessed with loving and understanding and ideal spouses). 2) the actors (they act well to their wives and in-laws and also gets a punch at ’em, whenever the chance presents, but from a safe distance, you’ve got to be a real fox to be this one). 3) the behind the stage losers (from outside these guys have a great life, but they lack any individuality, they do whatever their wives or her family wants of him, i know many who would fit right in this category, but you cant blame ’em, you know, to each his own). I hope iluvshrutiverma wouldn’t ban me permanently for this piece. LOL

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Hi Zinga, I would always publish your views on my blog – irrespective of whether I agree with them or not. So feel free to say whatever you feel.

        There have been comments calling me names and I have published those also 😉

        Sometimes, I do censor ‘bad words’ but that is the only moderation I do. Your views are very much appreciated and are considered as important as mine 🙂

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Akshat, great people aren’t the ones who do different things. They just do things differently.

      Have confidence in yourself and fight back. Treat her a lesson and feel proud

      • Rohit said

        this case is similar to that of mine.

        my wife’s party are liars and lawyers, and we are just ordinary civilians. I am not being sadistic or pessimistic. Just one blow from their side will break us down for sure. Where will I go or what will to live will be left in me if I lose my loved ones. We are very emotional. I can control myself but my zeal to live depends on the well being of my loved ones.

        When one commits suicide, its the end of life at one shot.
        When instead of committing suicide, one decides to fight against the system, its the end of life not at one shot but kind of slow death.

        If this is the fate God has meted out on me, so be it.

        my FIL is a government servant. if i file RTI, they will start barking that it is we who started the legal proceedings, and then they will be all out to file cases indicating that we prompted them to do so.

        how can i ensure that if i file RTI, they will not be informed.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        please do not bring fate and god in between.

        you choose to remain scared. “liars and lawyers” – what extra-ordinary powers do they have? there are people fighting against IPS officers themselves. i have myself got an inquiry initiated against a police inspector also.

        and i am a very ordinary civilian myself, i do not have any big backing of anyone – just that i am willing to invest my time and i am not scared of anybody!

      • Rohit said

        my advocates told to me that let her advocate file the case first as if bridgegroom’s side files the case first then he has to pay all the litigation expenditure of the bride also.

        1.is this true ?
        2.Except being an Aggressor in the eyes of the young-women loving old-judges , what other drawbacks does it have on being the first to file case against her ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Please provide more details when asking questions.

        E.g. which case do you want to file?

        If it’s a case under Hindu Marriage Act, then she might ask for litigation expenses (irrespective of whether she files the case or you file). Eg. in my case, the court did order me to pay 1,000 Rupees as litigation expenses to my wife for the Crpc125 case that she filed.

        As a thumb rule – attack is the best defense.

      • Rohit said

        1 Our marriage is registered under the Hindu Marriage Act.

        2 As of now they have not filed any case but had been threatening all the time about it.

        3 We consulted lot of advocates through our accomplices/relations and everyone suggests not to be the first one. They have been trying all the time to instigate us so that we start the legal proceedings.

        4 We do not have any proof of domestic violence about her. For the outsiders she has a pleasant personality, speaks so well but created havoc in front of me and my family indoors.

        5 After kicking my parents out of their house they have now become astonishingly silent. Till the time my parents stayed together with us , the parasites kept on spitting venom everywhere indicating that my parents interfere in my and my wife’s lives, thus killing their peace and their desire to preserve their the so-called IZZAT.

        Now my parents are like hapless outsiders to meet their son. They ask me did she(my wife) just want to kick us out ?

        6 BottomLine: I do not want sympathy, have had it a lot from those who can’t do anything. I want to know the strategy. Is it :Attack is the best defense ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        2 If they are threatening then it is very likely to happen. In earlier cases (at my time), most husbands were not aware of these laws and when our wives threatened, we did not take it seriously.

        3 I asked you one specific question that you have not answered (What case do you want to file). Please appreciate that I am making time to help strangers and at least read my answers a few times before responding further

        6 Yes – attack is the best defense

      • rohit said

        3 i want to get rid of her. Legally, i can get rid of her by divorcing her.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        3. Divorce does not mean you are not liable to maintain her financially.

        Read here why women should be in a hurry to get divorce and not men http://wp.me/PwezX-K

  30. Rakesh said

    Could you suggest about responding to wife’s section 24 application ? I have her income proofs and going to attach it with my reply. she earns good. she is sw engg. Now about my earnings, I will show my net take salary in my reply, but I am not sure If I should attach my salary slips right now alongwith my reply or produce it later in the court when court asks it ? I read the act and it says that court can decide the matter solely on written affidavits from both side and may not go to evidence stage like other suites. what do you suggest ? If they order just based on written replies then, do they still give chance to produce proofs at a later stage esp. for this section ?


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      It depends on the case details whether to submit the salary slips now or not:

      “How much is the judge likely to assume your salary if you do not provide the salary slips” would determine whether you submit the salary slips at this stage or not.

      Which are the other HMA cases going on and who has filed them?

      The primary objection to sec 24 is – she is staying away for reasons that are not justified. u love her and believe in the institution of marriage. request to court to please make her understand and send her back

  31. Sudip said

    i am fed up of her and her parent’s dodging attitude.

    If I do not indulge in s** with her and she cry that i do not give her what she deserves then can it legally harm me? If yes then what can I do?

  32. bushair said

    Hello sir,

    Thank you very much for spending your time helping others. Its been enlightening reading your blog.

    I have a situation at hand and need your valuable advice on it.

    I have been married for a year now, my wife hasn’t been with me for the past 3 months. She had left for her delivery with her relatives and hasn’t come back. We haven’t spoken to each other for the past two months, my calls aren’t received by her family (she doesn’t have a mobile phone), her parents and her relatives want us to get separated forever. They have conveyed this message to us and I believe she too is sticking with them on this matter.

    Why she is doing this (seriously, I don’t have a clue, I don’t drink or smoke or have an affair, I have a good job and have always provided for her, my parents never ill-treated her, we always cared and lover her, I must say that I haven’t even forced her to have sex with me, when she wasn’t in the mood, still I didn’t have any complaints about our relationship, she didn’t have to cook or do the laundry or keep the room tidy or wash the dishes or anything, my mom managed the house and we had maids to do all the chores, the list is endless).

    About two months into our marriage we got to know that the wedding took place as per some calculations made by my father-in-law. He’s a PWD contractor and financially very sound (a lot more than we are) and chose me (or buy me) for his daughter, because I’m a mechanical engineer and he wanted me to be like an assistant to him and manage his work. I didn’t want to be his car driver and preferred to continue in the company the I was working in. This led to an ego-clash between the two families and soon the relationship took a downfall, after which my wife was asked by her family to leave me, but she didn’t. They came over to my place twice and asked my wife to leave with them, but she didn’t.

    Due to this, we decided to have the delivery in Mumbai at our own expenses, but they just came over to my place and pursued her to go with them, I asked my wife not to go, but she left with them. Inspite of this, I used to call her on the phone. The last time I had talked to her was on the day that our baby was delivered. After this I wasn’t allowed to talk to her or see my son, I believe my wife too didn’t feel the need to call me or talk to me, because 2 months is a long time for my child’s mother not to give me a call, especially when there was no problems between us till she had left for her delivery.

    My wife’s relatives are asking for jewelry and the money that they had given as gifts on the wedding and wants to end the relationship. The have waved down all kinds of talks for reconciliation. their tone is like, we don’t want any relationship with you, just give us back our jewelry and money. They want the baby as well.

    What I feel about this plan is:

    1)They want the jewelry back this way because it is unaccounted for and there are no proof’s that it was given, some of it wont even have proper bills, cos they were gifted to my wife by her relatives living abroad.

    2)Once they get the jewelry, they will file a million false cases against me and my folks, because they have got the money back, now its time for them to get an ego boost – ‘show me what they can do to us’.

    3)For sure, after this, I would not wish to live with my wife, and would want a divorce from her, but they wont give me the divorce and extort more money from me or ask me to accept their demands like ‘be my father-in-laws’s car driver and live in the father-in-law’s house, and also forget that I was even born to my parents (which was what was expected of me through this wedding, we realised this a little late, we fell for his sweet talk).

    Other facts of interest :

    1)My marriage was not registered, it was only solemnised in a masjid. Muslim marriage act is applicable in my case (from the articles that I’ve read on the net, I get that there are differences between HMA and MMA, but I still haven’t figured out how its advatageous/disadvantageous in my case).

    2)I have an email and a few telephone recordings between me and my wife, where she mentions that we had taken good care of her (again, I dont know where/how this might help me in defending 498a, dv and maintenance cases, when they get filed).

    3)I consulted a lawyer and gave him all these facts and he has asked me to get an AB(he said that, 2 sureties aren’t required to get an AB, is that true) and then send my wife a notice, asking her to come back. Is this the right thing to do at the moment.

    4)In case, I have to file any cases against her (not at this point), should it be in Mumbai, that’s where we had lived as a couple or should it be in Cochin, Kerala (that’s where my wife’s family is put up).

    5)I am not going to give up, even though I’m depressed and feel cheated, I feel like all my love and care was wasted, my dreams to cuddle my son and pamper him has been snatched, by my wife and her relatives (aren’t they human? is it only money that they care for, I’m willing to give everything for my son, but things aren’t that simple).

    Please, please don’t give me a reply like go and study the facts, I am expecting an advice like from a friend. Please let me know if you need more details on this.

    Thank you very much.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Hello Bushair,

      Go and study yourself. That is the best possible thing to do.

      Here are some pointers from my side though:

      Your wife is not a kid that her parents are forcibly not letting her talk to you. Whatever was the case when you lived together, now things are different. And she and her parents are in sync as far as talking to you / continuing the relationship with you is concerned.

      You are right on target about the potential plan – they want to get the jewelry/ cash out of you, and then show their true colors. You have something to negotiate till the time you have that jewelry with you.

      The big advantage that you have over Hindus – You can get married again without a divorce. So, there is absolutely nothing that you stand to gain from getting divorced. Your financial responsibilities do not end with divorce. By the way, HMA does not apply to you but Crpc 125 does.


      • bushair said

        Thanks for the response ilsv. Yes, i understand that she and her parents are very much on sync in this matter. The past is no better than a dream. I made an investment it was a very poor one.

        So what I have to do is

        1) contest the divorce, never give her one. prolong it. Try and get custody of my child (my wife’s sister is mentally retarded and lives in the same house, can I state this as a reason to get my child back)

        2) avoid the crpc 125 or minimise the maintenence amount, by declaring that I dont earn enough? how the heck will I do that? Is there a percentage of my income that is fixed to be paid for maintenance?

        Also, my wife’s a BA in English and has done a Teacher’s Training course, but never has worked anywhere. I believe saying that i love my wife and want her to come back, isnt of much use at the court, because a section on crpc 125 says, that a wife can decline this, stating harassment or whatever which the judge finds acceptable. Now, the advantage of being a mulsim is lost in here, because the crpc 125 noose will further tighten on me, cos I am married again.

        4) Never give back the jewelry, now how would I ever prove that she never brought any with her or how will she ever prove that she brought any (but the female biased court, can just order me to give it back, can they, taking the false bills that her father is going to produce, hope the bastard didnt pay his taxes, that’s one place I maybe able to corner him if he’s trying to do that.

        what say?

        Thanks again.

  33. Virender said

    i do not understand if these souls hate us so much then why they spit lies to retain the jewelery/cash with them

    in my case i do not even know if my wife has all the jewelery with her or not

    if i ask her she starts yelling in front of the elders of mine and her family members that we are after money.

    if i do not ask her then there is no way to protect our money in form of jewelery from them. in fact she has already blamed that some gold piece of utensil is missing in our home.

    what is the right step i should follow ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Your wife is very cunning. These girls are taught from the beginning to be smart in the matters of money.

      You have been an idiot (no offense) because you did not control these things from the beginning.

      Now it is too late to do anything.

      One possibility is to listen to everything that she orders you to do. So that she does not take you ever to court.

      The other might be to record some conversations that you have with her – where she accepts that all her jewelry is with her – though I doubt whether she will accept this. They are brought up in a very selfish and greedy manner. They are not dumb like us.

      • Virender said

        once i tried to ask her if we took any dowry. (we did not) i was trying to pacify her anger in that we are good and didn’t do anything bad that other bridge-groom sides do. to my surprise, she just shook her head indicating that she agreed that we didn’t take any dowry. i asked her again in a loud voice and she just kept quite.

        i guess what you suggested me to do , they know already and are far ahead. don’t know how can i save myself from these creatures.

        the only thing that i know is not to have any kid.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        you did not take any valuables at the time of marriage – that is your fault. now pay for it.

        if the girl’s side also invests something in the marriage, then there is incentive for the girl also to make a marriage work.

        even if there are disputes and you have some cash/ jewelry that she got along with her at the time of marriage, she would still try to sort out the disputes and arrive at a fair settlement quickly – because she wants her jewelry back.

        from her behavior it is clear that she has already been trained properly and is thinking far ahead of us.

        NO – do not think about the kid. in matrimonial disputes, kid becomes another tool for extortion. you won’t even get to meet your kid often but you will end up paying for her as well as the kid’s upbringing.

        By the way – it is your mistake if you think other bride-groom’s side does bad things to the wives!

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        you did not take any valuables at the time of marriage – that is your fault. now pay for it.

        if the girl’s side also invests something in the marriage, then there is incentive for the girl also to make a marriage work.

        even if there are disputes and you have some cash/ jewelry that she got along with her at the time of marriage, she would still try to sort out the disputes and arrive at a fair settlement quickly – because she wants her jewelry back.

        from her behavior it is clear that she has already been trained properly and is thinking far ahead of us.

        NO – do not think about the kid. in matrimonial disputes, kid becomes another tool for extortion. you won’t even get to meet your kid often but you will end up paying for her as well as the kid’s upbringing

      • J said

        This was very interesting to hear. I was wondering what sort of voice recordings could be accepted as evidence?

        My sister in law tells my brother almost on a daily basis that they should separate because they are not compatible. Will making a simple recording of this over a mobile phone device be enough? I live in the US and am willing to research and send him good spy cameras,etc so that all of the verbal abuse dished out to him is recorded.


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Any kind of recordings (even simple) are fine. I have a lot of ‘legal matter’ on voice recordings too. For now – you record it and we can further discuss when time comes to use them.

        So these are a few tips while recording:
        1. Try to bring the ‘date’ in conversation – saying things like “we have been married for 13 months now, why are u behaving like this”.
        2. Try to showcase how she has been taken care of – mention vacations etc
        3. Try to record that no violence was involved

    • Rahul said

      I am just jumping in within the conversation of you two.

      You/we are not dumb though we can curse ourselves for our actions in the past. marriage should be based on trust. we trusted them and they betrayed. so we are not dumb but they are #$%^&*.

      1. If I record conversation in audio then as far courts are concerned i read somewhere that better to audio evidences , video evidences are preferred as advocates can argue that the audio evidence is tampered. is this correct ?

      2 I feel myself lucky to have visited your website. Like Virender I also do not want to commit any mistake for which i and my family may have to repent later. can you give me some advice that i must follow at any cost. if need be you can write personally at my email address

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Your comments are always welcome. This blog is for the use of all the readers.

        I see your point but I still think we were dumb – because we did not know what was happening around us. Torture by wives, suicide of husbands, legal extortion of men, arrests of innocents have been happening since before we got married. We never bothered to educate ourselves.

        In contrast, our ex-wives were better informed. Try to read as many comments on my blog as possible, and you will see that most wives have been smart and most husbands have been dumb during their relationship. Girls are brought up in a smart way – to control the house, to look for a rich man etc etc. While men are raised to respect woman and protect them. This partly happens because children are primarily raised by the mother.

        1. Video is better but audio will work too.
        2. There is lot of information on my blog. For generic advice, read as much messages exchange as you can and then you can please ask me more specific questions.

        God bless

      • roh said

        i have read many times that its good to go to jail for a day or two instead of living in fear or anguish with the legal terrorists. what do you say?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        That does not apply to your case – because u can not go to jail even if you want to. your case is too pre-mature today, i dont think there is even an FIR.

  34. bushair said

    a correction. i meant

    Now, the advantage of being a mulsim is lost in here, because the crpc 125 noose will further tighten on me, “if I marry again”. This automatically qualifies her for the crpc 😦

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Your marrying again qualifies her for crpc 125? Absolutely incorrect.

      In fact, the maintenance amount reduces if you are married again – because now you are liable to maintain the new wife also 🙂

      The advantage of being a muslim is that you can get married without getting divorced from the first wife.

      You are liable to maintain your first wife irrespective of whether you are divorced or not. So a man’s financial responsibility does not change with divorce. Some men are in a hurry for divorce because they want to get married again.

      Though there are several Hindu men also who got married again without getting divorced first, but those cases are of people who now have become very smart and understand the loopholes of law accurately.

      In your case, bigamy laws like IPC 494 will not apply

      • bushair said

        wowww. that’s sweet. so, if i find someone nice, i definitely should get married. why waste my hard earned money on someone who never cared for me. I feel bad for my son though. wonder when i can ever get him back. 😦

        thanks ilsv 🙂

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        i am not sure whether you should get married again. that is a very personal decision and mostly depends on the kind of person you choose the next time.

        second marriages are more likely to fail than the first one!

      • bushair said

        yeah, depends on who we choose. I don’t wish to get all philosophical in here 🙂

        second marriages are more likely to fail – that’s what the statistics say. but the statistics doing the rounds are of US marriages, the situation is a little different when the second marriage happens in India, I must say 😀

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Well, thinking along those lines – what happened to you in the first marriage isn’t really what happens in India, isn’t it?

      • bushair said

        Dear ilsv,

        Hope you are doing well.

        I had applied for anticipatory bail at a court in Kerala and it has been denied on the grounds that I am being imaginative about it and because the SI of the East Fort police station (my wife’s house comes in this circle) has declared that no complaint has been registered against me or my parents and that he doesn’t intend to arrest us on any charge.

        I have a few queries on this:

        1) Do I go to the HC now to get an AB?
        2) What exactly does this order from the Court mean
        3) Will this order help prevent an arrest if a complaint is filed against me and my family (my wife’s father has made it clear to a relative that they will take legal action soon) ?
        4) Will this order mean anything if my wife files a complaint in Mumbai (that is where I live and where we used to live together)?

        Thanks a lot. please let me know if you require more specifics about the order.


      • iluvshrutiverma said


        1. AB can be applied only in HC. Check again – where was it applied
        2. This order from the court only means that there is no FIR currently, hence you do not have a reasonable fear of arrest today
        3. This order might help a little psychologically but circumstances change
        4. No this order does not mean anything in Mumbai

      • Salil said


      • Bushair said

        Dear ilsv,

        I had applied to the session’s court.

        please read this – Anticipatory bail can not be granted as a matter of right. Applicant can approach High Court for grant of anticipatory bail even if his application is rejected by the Court of Sessions, but not vice versa. source : http://www.ourkarnataka.com/Articles/law/anticipatorybail.htm

        The Supreme Court declared as under;

        10. Section 438 of the Code confers on the High Court and the Court of Session, the power to grant `anticipatory bail’ if the applicant has `reason to believe’ that he may be arrested on accusation of having committed a non-bailable offence. source: http://legalperspectives.blogspot.com/2010/01/principles-for-grant-of-anticipatory.html

        I guess moving out to the High Court is the only way out 😦

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        hi, yes u are right, moving to HC is the only option. Look carefully at the session court’s rejection order – because HC might give a lot of importance to that order

  35. bushair said

    to add, I dont think everyone would have a stubborn attitude like, I wont learn anything from my previous experience, right? And how much the previous experience had affected us or how much we let it affect our lives, rather, would make a difference, I believe.

    I found these sources about second marriages, whether they’d work or not, has to be seen and I think it may work better when seen in a positive way than not.


    this ones some details on real ones that worked – http://www.helium.com/debates/81569-can-second-marriages-work

    have a good weekend. Thanks ilsv 🙂

  36. User said

    I had filed TEP against my FIL and MIL. My FIL is owning various illegal properties at delhi at various places. Pl. guide what all RTIs i should file to get the information. Secondly, my MIL is running a recognized school in delhi. She is also owning a big Plot in Delhi on the name of the school from last so many years and never constructed on the same. Pl. guide how will I file some cases against them . What is the best way to get hold of all the information through RTIs?

    Secondly, My FIL is asking Big money on the name of settlement or alimony which even my lawyer is supporting and asking me to settle . I dont want to settle my matter by paying the huge amount. She had already filed false dowry cases against me and my family and I want to go for legal fight to teach a good lesson to my beloved 498a wife and her parents. Already a FIR had been lodged against her and her family when she tried to break my parents house lock and did the stealing/theft.

    Pl. guide.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You say that the properties are illegal. You need to find out what specifically is illegal about them and then raise the issue with the concerned department (perhaps DDA).

      Same about the school – is there any rule that says that the school needs to be constructed within x years of acquiring the land?

      Your lawyer is asking you to settle because he will get a percentage cut from the settlement amount but do not bow in front of someone who has made your life miserable. We brought home these women, loved them, respected them, and in return they behaved like jerks. Now it is pay back time.

      Good luck

  37. slt's hubby said

    I am a handicapped person (paralysed due to accident 10 years ago). my wife of 2 years , stole all the gold ornaments and cash of my family and run away with a feriwala (muslim). A FIR was lodged and she was captured alone (not with feriwala) from one of the house of her relatives but that feriwala was absconding, so it can not be proved that she was with feriwala. now I am not ready to live with her and she has filled a case under crpc 125. As i have no income and reside with my parents, who will pay for her maintenance, if awarded by magistrate. and is this adultery ?

  38. Mahesh Chand Gupta said

    My wife left my house on 27.12.2002 giving a letter to local police station that she is not willing to stay in her matrimonial house. we both are living separately since than.is this equal to judicial separation?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      This is not equal to judicial separation but in my opinion judicial separation is a bogus concept. i do not even know why that section actually exists. judicial separation might minimally help at divorce stage but truly speaking there are no benefits at all. it is just a case that lawyers encourage their clients to file so that they can make some money

  39. Aanand Rao said

    This blog is very helpful especially to those like me, who have lost children to parental kidnapping.

    Thank you.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Dear Aanand,

      Thank you for your kind words. Please keep your feedback flowing so that I know that my effort is indeed helping fellow husbands.


  40. sauabh said

    before leaving my wife at home should i submit in writing at the local police station that due to harassment from my wife i am leaving her at the renred home

  41. Pritam said

    1 in the court can i ask some question from the judge?

    2 if i ask him is he responsible to give me an answer , or

    3 are judges just blind folks without any of their brains that can have some sensible thoughts in it, and they just give their verdict on basis of arguments by the advocates ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1. yes u can ask
      2. he is not bound to answer
      3. india practices what is called ‘common law’ architecture of law – and this is the way it is designed to work

  42. amit said

    i am prepared to go to jail. i have not even applied for the anticipatory bail. i will say to the court that when i have not committed any crime then why should i anticipate for any charge against me ? i want that bi*** to file some case against me so that she closes the chapter of all negotiations for saving our marriage(which were from our side only)

    if i am not applying for anticipatory bail, then am i being insane or should i apply for it, anyhow. They had been threatening a lot.

    now there is absolute no contact between our families.

    we two are just living together for formality.

    i have now decided to leave her in my first rented place. all i want to know is that if i go to a rented place and if she comes there also should i allow her to come there also or should i ask her to go to the court if she wants to enter my rented home?

    i want the final advice. the ultimate advice. enough is enough of this.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      you say your family has been trying to negotiate/ reconcile…..so it is in your hands whether u want to continue trying or stop…. this does not have to depend on her filing the cases.

      about anticipatory bail – well depends on your courage. there have been people who preferred to get arrested for 1-2 days rather than wasting time and money in the courts. it’s a personal choice and risk appetite

      • Amit said

        How can you say for sure that if at all a man is arrested in these cases he is arrested for a day or two and not more than that ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        i can not say for sure, that’s the average, the actual time will depend on the city and the case specifics

  43. Jagan said

    my in-laws think they are clever. they were blindly supporting their un-controllable daughter while she was creating scenes every next day.

    now that we have understood their game-plan, in order to save their a$$e$ , these cowards have started saying that they are not involved in the dispute between me and my wife.

    how can I tame shameless people like these ?

  44. cool dude said


    I work for an MNC and drawing a salary of 1 LAC/month. I was married in 2004 and have 2 kids- One daughter (abt 4 yrs) and a Son (abt 1 Yr). Since we got married, the marriage has been a hell and we really have compatibility issues. The gap between us is increasing day by day and now we have stopped trusting each other and disclosing anything related to our families. Her family interfere a lot and for any matter her mother always comes and create a scene.

    In last 6 yrs we had lot of family meetings just to stabilize our married life and thinking of Kids future, but I still feel that we are still at square 1 and now don’t even like to see each other anymore.

    It’s been a week that she has left house along with her parents after creating a big scene in the locality. Also, as a precautionary step, they have informed police that they are taking their stuff, so that any false allegation cannot be made against them. Also, she’s asking me for monthly maintenance for the kids. Please advice what should I do?

    1. How do we calculate monthly maintenance figure if I earn 1 Lac and she earns 11K. I am MCA and she has done her MCOM, MBA and CS (inter). I am ready to take one kid’s responsibility out of 2, would that help? Also, I have a house in my name and paying EMI, so what are the chances that she’ll ask for her share in that house, though the house is only in my name?

    2. If I am willing to take one kids responsibility, then how can that help in reducing the maintenance amount?

    3. She also blame me falsely for having an extra marital affair with someone and not having inter course with her for long. I really dont want to have it because of the bitterness in our relationship. This bitterness is really not attracting me towards her. Now, can she drag me to the court for this?

    4. What are the chances that she falsely charge me under 498A dowry case? Also, what are the ways to save myself from this proactively? And, if by any chance she lodge a complaint under 498A against me and my family, then how can I get a bail? Could you please list down the process of getting the bail?

    5. If she agrees to file divorce on mutual consent then ideally for how much monthly maintenance amount should I settle down?

    Please advice as I am going through this trauma for pretty long and have to take strong steps now.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1. husband is always at the losing end once things come to ‘calculations’. go through my blogs and search for ways to avoid maintenance.

      2. She might want to keep the kids – and usually the courts will give the kids to her. u can try asking for child custory though i am not very optimistic about ur suceess

      3. i have seen such cases before but these are not the cases u shud be worried about

      4. What are the chances that she would file a 498A case? depends on her and the kind of family – my wife has been battling in the courts since 5 years just bec of her family’s ego!

      About bail – read crpc 438 and search anticipatory bail on this blog

      5. why do u want to pay ger money? u don’t gain anything by getting divorced, are u in a hurry to get married again?

  45. Ranjit said

    a woman is not entitled to get maintenance 1.if she is educated ? or 2.if she is employed or 3.we never know what a judge may decide ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      We never know what the judge will decide.

      Again, maintenance can also be claimed in several law provisions – there are 4 provisions.

      Some are just for her survival and some are to equate the status of the 2 parties

      • Ranjit said

        no wonder why laws are so loosely designed. So that they can be interpreted in any way. That lawyer wins who can convince a judge in his preferred way.

        where is the room for justice then ?

  46. Harsh said

    my question may sound silly but important for me

    when judge decides maintenance for my wife i may be doing a well paying job
    after that judgement what if due to some mishap i lose my well paying job and end up doing a comparatively low income job.

    would still i have to abide by the order to pay money that i may not even be able to earn or is there is something that can be done in that situation ?

  47. Harsh said

    Can my wife at any time ask the court/police to freeze my salaried account or all of my accounts ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      this is theoretically possible but it does not happen so easily…it might happen if you are absconding for say 5 years!

  48. Harsh said

    Fed up from her and parent’s attitude, i had started living alone separately from my wife. she comes and creates scenes at my residence that i am neither giving her divorce nor allowing her to enter his home.

    what measures i can take to avoid her or make her not repeat it again ?

  49. ashish said

    my wife says she won’t leave me but i can leave her if she wants. I told her then that i won’t be paying any rent and will serve notice to house-owners that i will leave the house.

    She is a liar. I have no reason to believe that she will not create scenes if i will try to leave her.

    If i rent a room for myself and start living separately but keep majority of my luggage in our rented house. Am i legally safe this way?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      if u have majority of luggage in the rented house, then u would again have to see her often, and that will again lead to friction

      • ashish said

        she is the girl i married. I used to feel how lucky i am to get some one like her. Now i have decided to let her live in her own life and be happy. i have been through lot of agony that has brought so much change in me.

        Hence, i am prepared for any friction. i want to know , does the fact that i have some of my luggage in the home for which i have ceased to pay rent, bring any legal trouble for me ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        no, but be prepared that she might throw/ sell the luggage

  50. Ashish said

    The landlord of the house ( where why wife is staying, and I am paying the rent without fail ) and my father in law are constantly calling my office seniours telling them that i have not come to the house since, so and so many days.

    Please tell me what do with these creatures ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Please use only a single name to post comments. It helps me understand your case entirely (right now you use multiple names to post comments and it gets very confusing).

      About your problem – firstly, tell seniors about your actual situation, do not feel shy. Be truthful about the domestic problems you are having. It will go a long way in building a support system around you. Read more here http://wp.me/plC3a-3b

      Once they know your actual situation, it is no longer your problem. Let the company handle it on their own. Your FIL or landlord becomes a random person calling and harassing them 🙂

  51. Ashish said

    Today she came with the FIL to my office but as they did not find me they went away. They will come again. They know very well what they have done and know that anybody in this situation will react in anger. They are instigating me to do something something wild.

    what if i do not look at their face and just walk in to the office.

    and shall i say the same to my seniours that i have no relation with them and my office guys are free to say they are helpless in this private matter and please excuse ?

    please tell me anything else that you can

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Your wife and FIL following you like this is no different than any stranger stalking you!

      You can just ignore them.

      As suggested earlier, tell your office people that you are separated and they are just stalking you.

      Also, give a written complaint at the local police station that FIL and wife come to office and threaten to physically harm you.

  52. Ashish said

    Here is what I have got against them:

    1. My FIL(), BIL and wife(PG) entered the premises of my office, without taking permission from any employee in my company.

    2. FIL also threatened with dire consequences an employee of the our company from whom they tried to extract my information.

    3. My FIL is a government employee from renowned Government Instituation.
    MY BIL owns a private company

    4 .In addition to your advices , please guide me what i can do via RTI , if applicable.

    5.Please note that these creatures have deep peneration in the police ranks and have always been trying to instigate anger in us so that we commit some blunder in retaliation

    6.Please note that the seniour authoritative employees of my company are not aware of the fact that my ‘stalkers’ came to my office but only the juniours know this and are trying not to get the matter escalated to the seniours.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1. This is not against you. This is against your company. If your company makes a complaint against them, then only this is worth while pursuing.

      2. Will that employee make a complaint?

      3. ok

      4. A lot can be done via RTI. Please do your own home-work and you will see that you can do wonders with RTI.

      5. ok

      6. You can always marka copy of the communication to the senior employees yourself.

      • Vishal said

        i want to stay separately from my wife . they have been pinching us so that we file case. i know that only judicial separation means separation according to the law. even if i do not share the same household as that of wife, court/law doesn’t take that fact that i have separated but i need to get legally separated by taking judicial separation.

        1. Please correct me if i am correct so far

        I have started living in a separate location from that of my wife

        2. Please tell me what all proofs should i collect to tell to the public(not law/court) that i have separated from my wife

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Judicial separation is a waste of time. Don’t waste ur time and resources on judicial separation. It does not mean anything.

  53. Vishal said

    I wanted to know, except judicial separation, by what other means I can show to the judiciary that I am living separated life from my wife

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      In what context, do you want to prove that you are living separately?

      I do not understand what do you gain by proving to a judge that you are staying separately?

      • vishal said

        i contacted some folks but they said no matter what you do , unless and until you do not ask for judicial separation court is not going to believe anything as court believes only on facts mentioned on legal documents.

        i want to know how can i show to the ‘society|law’ that there is nothing left between us. We are just legally married but there is no relation between us.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Hi Vishal, Society and law are different things.

        Let us say after a time of time and effort, you manage to get a document from court that says u are judicially separated.

        1. Society – Now will you take this paper and show it to everyone in the society?

        2. Law – What do you gain by proving that you are judicially separate? I have asked this to u before also, it appears that you are too involved in your case details. Think about it from a third person perspective – how will it help you to prove that you are staying separately?

      • Vishal said

        actually i am not sure if this is correct or not but is it a fact that if husband and wife are not staying together for three years under the same roof OR not performing marital obligations then according to law, if either of the spouse files for divorce , the government is bound to oblige the petitioner with unconditional divorce ?

        if this correct then won’t it help me to collect proof as to since when i am living separate from my wife ?

        or if this is not correct then please clarify.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Vishal, I am sorry to say that you are not putting any effort in learning how legal framework works in this country.

        Anyone with some basic research can conclude the following: If one spouse files for divorce and the other spouse fights smartly, it will easily take anywhere from 10 – 15 years to get divorce. Even then, no one is ‘obliged’ to give divorce.

        Irrevitable breakdown of marriage is not a sufficient condition for ‘contested’ divorces. For mutual consent divorces, both the parties can claim that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and the court will believe that. But if you want divorce and the wife does not want, whether you stay away for 3 years or not does not matter.

        As a live example, I have not seen my wife since Feb 2005. It is a true fact and I have accepted this fact several times everywhere. She is asking for divorce since 2007 and I can bet that she will not get it till at least 2020. If I am lucky I might be able to stretch it to 2025. And at the end of this long long legal fight, I am not saying she would be able to get divorce. It will take so many years for the divorce case (and appeals) to get over and may be the judgment would be in my favor 🙂

        Read here how cases can be dragged to 100 hearings when only 3 are required: http://wp.me/plC3a-bs

        Read here “Supreme court denies divorce even after 17 years of legal battles” http://iluvshrutiverma.wordpress.com/2008/11/04/me-and-my-wife-are-together-for-at-least-17-years-more/

        And please – put in more effort from your side to educate yourself rather than expecting me to help you. Next time you hear your lawyer say ” if husband and wife are not staying together for three years under the same roof ……”, you should immediately ask where in law is it written? Please go and read HMA (Hindu Marriage Act), its quite simple 🙂

        Good luck

  54. Vishal said

    i am staying separately from my wife. my wife now knows very well that i do not want to stay with her so she has started saying that she wants to live with me but i have left her alone in her life and she is now mentally depressed and is on medication, and can not even concentrate on her job and may have to leave it due to me. she is planning to go to her native place.

    i want some proof to show not only to the society but to the law also that there is nothing that has changed suddenly. i have had no relations with my wife since last year. so there is no reason to make shouting now. after your input on this i agree that judicial separation is useless. then what else do i need to possess ? just live separately and wait for her reaction ?

  55. Prashant said

    my sitution is similar.
    i am thinking of leaving my wife. i paid 2 month rent in advence alreday. if i do not pay next one month rent then can the makan-malik do anything against me legally

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      I do not know why you think of your wife in everything.

      This of your present situation ‘without’ your wife in picture. You have rented a place, you paid 2 months rent in advance. Now, if you do not pay the rent for the next month, what will happen? Forget about the wife. She is just like any random person staying there. You are not responsible for what she does.

      Do you get the point? You rented a house, now you want to move out. If the landlord contacts you that she is still staying there, you can say you are not related to her

      • Prashant said

        I went to pick up my luggage from the rented home.

        1. The landlord threatened me that he will act as witness against me in the court
        2. I asked him about the whereabouts of my wife. I told them I don’t know where she is. Has she gone to her parents, is she still working somewhere, staying where ? I asked them the landlord simply didn’t tell me.

        I do not want to worry but is my luck so damn against me ? please guide what i should do.

  56. mahesh said

    i do job in jaipur. my wife lives in jaipur. her parents live in una. we got married in patna.

    my question is can she file case only from patna or can she file it from jaipur? please guide me

  57. mahesh said

    she has gone to her parants. can she file case from there (una) ?

  58. Kamal said

    I am terrified but firm to fight. I fear i might get arrested any time soon. when i will be arrested, does the police have authority to snatch my phone. what other precautions do you suggest ?

    • Kamal said

      my in-laws are trying hard to instigate anger in me. in what all conditions can the police arrest me. there is no case against me yet ..

  59. Siddant said

    Hello ILSV,

    I have a few legal process related question, I would seek your suggestions :

    Brief Background :
    I am fighting my divorce case and sec-24 maintenance case in UP (ghaziabad) approx. for last one year. She also lives in UP (actually she lives in my house and I am forcefully evicted out of there) and she admits her address as that of UP (ghaziabad) and made section 24 application from that address only. Now after almost one year , she filed crpc 125 in delhi. She made my son(2 year old) as applicant#1 and herself as applicant#2 in crpc 125 complaint. She showed that son lives in delhi at her nani’s house and she visits Delhi only on weekends and holidays to see child. She gave her both addresses in this 125 crpc petition i.e. UP address and Delhi address. court summons were sent to me by speed post to my house where i do not live but she lives (i.e. in UP). Since I was not there, so it was redirected to my office address (supposdely by her) and post man dropped it at my office gate and took receipt from watchmen on duty there.

    Now I have some questions (please help me get answer)

    1. Is it fine for her to provide two address for same applicant (herself) and file case in Delhi, while she is fighting another case of sec-24/divorce in UP and she admits it in her application that she lives in UP (Ghaizabad) and only visits her child in Delhi on weekends ? also since child lives at his maternal grandparents house in Delhi, so can she file in Delhi based on that ? Is weekend visit and child’s address (who can not even confirm his address) for delhi suffiicent to file case in Delhi ? , No event including marriage have been shown in Delhi in her petition. our marriage also happened in UP.

    2. Since It was not me, who took receipt of court summons from postman, is it advisable to take stand that summons were not received by me and does not attend court date henceforth ? Also this address (as on evelope) is different than my address shown in court order but somehow summons were sent or redirected to my office address without first going to my main address in court papers.

    3. based on this , whether the jurisdiction of the court in delhi, where she filed 125 crpc petition, can and should be challenged under above facts and circumstances ? if yes, what should be the process (going to higher court or should be challenged in same court on first date ? )

    4. Can and should we file for transfer of case to UP from delhi, if yes, then which court it should be filed ?

    looking to hear from you.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      It is not clear as to where you are living but I assume that you prefer Ghaziabad over Delhi.

      Did you file for divorce? That is a mistake that you did.

      Think about getting child custody – though it is going to be very difficult – try to approach the matter based on – she is not able to take care of the child properly. The child should be given to you (and she can visit the child on weekends – and on weekdays the child should be with you). This way, you would firstly get your child, secondly you would avoid one portion of maintenance, and then delhi jurisdiction automatically is ruled out.

      Also, go to https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/ and look for – wife can not ride 2 horses at the same time! It will help you.

      1. Yes – she can do that
      2. Yes – under these circumstances you can take a stand that you did not receive the summons
      3. already answered above
      4. supreme court

      • Siddant said

        Thank you ILSV for answers. I plan to use the mentioned judgement on litigant riding two horses.

        is it advisable to go to highcourt for applying for quashing this petition of 125 or present the arguments in the same lower court at Delhi where she filed the 125, alongwith our reply ?

        I think transfer petition could be put at any stage of the case into SC. Do we take this stand now or it can be deferred to any future point of time based on need ?

        Also under these circumstances, can I file for child custody in delhi later (for this case, I may prefer delhi, where proceedings are typically faster than UP civil courts, as I believe) ? and I also think that I will make father of the wife as one of the respondent in my application , because current physical custody of my child is with him rather than my wife alone. child lives at her father’s home. Will this inclusion of her father as co-respondent make any positive impact on the case ?


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        I answered so many of your questions, you did not answer the only question I asked. Did you file for divorce?

        I do not see on what basis will you get Crpc 125 quashed?

        Transfer petition can be applied at any time.

        Yes – you should make your FIL a respondent.

  60. Siddant said

    Hi ILSV,

    Yes, divorce was filed by me.

    125 quashing , I was thinking on the basis of double litigation plea as a civil case is going on for exact same sought reliefs. atleast for interim part.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Ok, now I see grounds for Quashing.

      About your earlier question “is it advisable to go to highcourt for applying for quashing this petition of 125 or present the arguments in the same lower court at Delhi where she filed the 125, alongwith our reply ?”

      My view: I do not think lower court will entertain this discussion.

      As per me, a man should never file for divorce. What do you gain by divorce?

      • Siddant said

        Hi ILSV,

        I took time to respond to answer your question on filing of divorce , as such I do not know if it was good or bad. I did it more for taking a legal stand than anything else. I wanted to bring my perspective on paper before she go to court/police. I had also made some initial police complaints as she had snatched my house forcibly and were blackmailing me for police and court cases threat. In my case, when I filed divorce, I was out of my house because she had captured that along with her brother and father (and I am still out of the house). I made this as a ground for cruelty and desertion and went ahead for divorce.


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Hi – I do understand that many guys file for divorce but I think most of them do so because they are not fully knowledgeable.

        The best way to take revenge from a 498 wife is to let her grow old in the same sick marriage. Men can get married again whenever they want but woman can not. Most women are frigid fundamentally and with menopause approaching their appetite for physical proximity as well as their ability to bear children goes down drastically.

        Society/ Courts have been unfair to us but let us make full use of the biological differences that God has created.

        Read point number 1 here to see why women should be in a hurry for divorce:

      • Zinga said

        The last line in this comment of yours to Siddant got me thinking…I have been recommending my brother to file for divorce after gathering as much evidence as he can against his wife. My reasons for this —

        1.Till the time he takes concrete steps to move on like separating from his wife and following it up with a divorce petition, some of the potentially best years of his life are being frittered away -spending them in the proximity of someone he doesn’t love, who indulges in mental abuse;is not interested in taking any steps at all to sort things out.

        2. The other reason sort of follows on from the previous one -he could have had someone who truly cared for him and deserved his affection during these years.

        I guess your response to these would be advice along the lines of recommending separating rather than actual filing of a divorce. Could you -from your experience, tell us how long do you think an actual divorce can take to come through? Taking the example of your own case -where we are assuming that you have been successful at subverting the tactics employed by your wife/ex-wife, could you tell us how long does the battle usually last?

        As an aside and unrelated to the topic (and it would mortify me to talk of this to anyone but to my husband but am using the comparative anonymity provided by cyber world), you don’t exactly have a very updated view of women in general. Since my husband, an IITian was probably a great deal like you in that respect before we got married (love marriage btw)I am not surprised. Most women are not frigid -the concept of anything sexual being a sin from which they must keep miles away is just so drilled in to Indian women from the moment they are born that it takes a lot of courage on the part of the woman and encouragement from her husband to make the transition from being a chaste and innocent girl to well..someone else. It also takes a lot of exposure to Samantha Jones (SATC) and the rabbits of the world among other things…like maybe good girlfriends (for those not quite familiar with the media at large).

        Anyways, BIG deviation from the topics this blog is about so I am -rightly, taking a hike from this blog and related sections till the time my bro has collected enough material to get moving. Will be back with a bang later.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Dear Z,

        Collecting evidence is fine, but consider the following factors:

        A – the courts are very very slow (I would quantify this comment in a bit)
        B – the courts are extremely biased towards the woman
        C – the above bias increases once you ask for divorce – because the judge sitting there (usually a male) thinks you are deserting the woman
        D – filing for divorce would attract additional maintenance provisions like HMA 24 (Hindu Marriage Act Section 24)
        E – Even after years of fighting the judgement might not come in your favour
        F – The society would also look down on the person who initiates a divorce (The society would look down on the man anyway because of the following http://wp.me/plC3a-3b) but the situation for a man is much more vulnerable if he files for divorce.

        Talking about my case – Shruti Verma filed for divorce in 2007 and the case has not even started!

        On an average, I would say a divorce case would take 5 – 8 years in the family court, and then appeal in high court and supreme court – so we are easily talking about 12 years or so (in a regular case)! If the opponent (or their supporters) are smart enough, it would go up to 15 years. Yes, that is India.

        Read the following for more flavour:
        1. http://wp.me/plC3a-bs

        2. http://iluvshrutiverma.wordpress.com/2008/11/04/me-and-my-wife-are-together-for-at-least-17-years-more/

        As a matter of fact, majority of divorces are initiated by women (in India as well as in the US) – the exact number being 60% – 80%. I am bringing in the US flavour intentionally because this comparison leads to what I am going to say below:

        About sexuality – I will agree that Indian women are ‘taught’ to be more ‘un-expressive’ that way but let us compare it to following 2 categories of humans:
        1. Indian men
        2. American women

        1. Indian men – let us for a moment leave the ‘tapori’ image of guys shown in Hindi movies but think about what happens in a regular educated household – are Indian boys encouraged to be any more sexually expressive (active) than the female counterparts? Do parents not teach the same thing to their children (guys and girls)?

        2. In America, the ‘Indian upbringing’ concept is not there – even there, women use sex as a means to get other things. India (in 20 years) would be what America is today. In US, women enjoy sex – as much as men – or perhaps even more – but still they use it as a means of getting other things – the whole concept of being a gentleman/ being chivalrous – paying for dates etc – is nothing but exploitation of one gender by another.

      • Zinga said

        Thanks for the very detailed and realistic information on how long it can take for a divorce petition that has been filed by a man to come through. It was quite depressing to know but it’s better to find out all that one can. Don’t have much to say on that front and will pass on the information to the concerned party.

        Keeping the related mental torment that you have gone through and must be undergoing, I can quite understand the cynicism that you give in to while talking about ‘exploitation of one gender by another’. I know your views are colored by your experiences. But, care to have a look at my pov? This is totally irrelevant to the forum but couldn’t help penning my thoughts. I would request you to not approve posting of it on the site. I am telling you this only to give you some idea of a different kind of life that people have.

        8 paragraphs deleted on your request…..

        I hope that the very long story of my almost 3 years of marriage gave you an insight in to what is a normal and loving relationship between 2 people. Please don’t let cynicism ruin all possible chances of future happiness. Best of luck.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Feel free to ask for more help if required – about divorce or any other legal matter – I am always happy to help.

        About the deleted paragraphs: You made my day. I am so touched reading your story. It is such a nice intimate feeling knowing intricate details about someone’s life.

        In one of your earlier post – you mentioned something about your brother having a baby – I missed to answer that earlier but tell him not to even think about it. Children in difficult marriages are a disaster. The child will suffer. Your brother will suffer – he would end up paying for someone he can’t even see. And there is nothing more disheartening for a father not to be able to see his child.

        By the way, now I will also digress from the original motive of my blog (I guess it’s ok to digress a bit once in a while): when are you having a baby? I would like to see the pictures of the baby – want to see how children of such elite parents look like 🙂

      • Zinga said

        Wait for a couple of years at least to see my baby. In fact probably till the baby reaches her late teens to be really sure if I raised a monster or a princess 🙂
        (the ‘her’ is just an acting modern thing and no feminist wannabe thing -would love a brat as much as a little girl)

        You know what? Your own story is actually kind of missing -both from your personal blog as well as this one. Tantalizing bits like ‘SV being on FB’ and in CTS…well not really helpful in finding the female. Yeah I know -none of my concerns but the too common failing -human curiosity.

        Anyways, hope you find peace, freedom and lasting love

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Joke starts “A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over.

        The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I’ll let you go.”

        The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, “My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!”” Joke ends

        So my dear Zinga – please don’t tell me you are trying to find SV to bring her back to me else I would have to drive at 100 mph too:)

        On a serious note – my story is missing because the idea was only to help others but I would be more than glad to share whatever you want to know about my story.

        Also, about the 8 deleted paragraphs – I have been thinking about it and I do not agree with 100% of what you said but you seem like a “nice normal person” so I decided not to argue further. Hum hi hum hain tho kya hum hain. Tum hi tum ho tho kya tum ho

        I have to admit I am quite impressed by your impeccable choice of words in English – “tantalizing” is one such word you used.

      • Zinga said

        There are so many thoughts that this discussion provoked – about this earlier flat-mate of mine who is separated from her husband and who I feel has secluded herself socially under the mistaken idea that her friends will judge her …about how much I have missed my husband’s company and hated staying away if I have lived away for even a month due to work related travel(and even when I got on fabulously with my girl roomie for that month)…about some stories told to me by my lunch time friend (again from Infy) about her own room-mates (during her various visits to US) who were getting divorced and how embittered they were…and various other things.
        I could honestly think of only these cases where a financially independent woman and someone who’s not fundamentally unhinged (like my own SIL) would feel as vengeful against her husband to go for a false 498a -when the husband cheated and got away with it scot-free or when the husband was highly abusive (either physically or mentally) or when his family was exasperatingly provocative and the husband was spinelessly non-supportive.

        But in a lot of stories that I read here, that doesn’t seem to be the case. In your own case, I just can’t believe that you would belong to any of the three categories of men I just described ;cheater, abuser or spineless spectator, for the simple reason that you would not have gone to the great lengths of creating this blog if you inherently believed that your wife’s vengeance was justifiable.

        I honestly can’t understand why a girl like your own wife (I am guessing her to be profile id= 880175050, you can delete this part) would not prefer to file for a quick resolution of a bad mistake in life and move on. Greed alone doesn’t explain it.
        Why would anyone who has the comfort and security of her own home (you’ve no idea how much girls long for it when living with roomies before they get married)walk out of it and lead the miserable life of ‘sharing an apartment with a roomie’ again?

        I know you’ve thought about it. Care to share? I’ll promise not to pester you after this if you’d like!

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        You are not pestering me, you can ask whatever you wish to know.

        About the lunch time stories – well, women talk more as compared to men – hence you ‘hear’ about their sad stories at lunch more often than men.

        I am sorry but I did not understand what profile are you referring to when you say “profile id= 880175050”.

        About why girls would not prefer to file for a quick resolution, it is a very complex equation but here are some ingredients:
        1. The mental torture that girls go through can be imaginary
        2. They hold the guy responsible for their failed marriage and hence want to settle scores with him
        3. Family members play a very important role in instigating the girl to take drastic steps (see here http://iluvshrutiverma.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/actress-admits-her-dowry-harassment-allegations-were-false/)
        4. Often the guy pays up, hence the girl + family at the time of starting the battle hope for making quick money

      • J said

        I think I’ve outlived my usefulness on the blog. My initial comments were written with the intent to show you that not all the relationships in India are as bad as what you were unlucky enough to experience n not all girls as bad as SV. That’s why I wrote my pre-marriage experiences or even about how we had problems we worked on. Since then, they’ve degraded in to a ‘gloat in your face’, ‘see how cool my relationship is’ nonsense. I’m sincerely sorry about that…it was cruel in effect even if a thoughtless action on my part. Anyways, don’t think about SV unless you have to. The girl obviously is the biggest ass. Please give a sincere chance to other relationships in your life. And, of course, continue helping those in need of good legal advice 🙂

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Oh, I do not know why you think “they’ve degraded” – did I say anything for you to feel that way? I never, not even for a moment, believed that they have become ‘gloat in the face’. And I feel happy that your relationship is cool.

        Also, where is that profile ID?

      • J said

        Hmm, thanks for saying what you did. I still think I am proselytizing (now look what you’ve started with your praise of the simple ‘tantalizing’ :P) at the wrong place and time. Profile id is on Facebook, of course. Felt curious enough to take a dekko at potential SVs. I am glad you have an intimate relationship in your life -that’s actually what all these poor blokes who are writing on your forum need! A good night out- of flirtations and bantering with friends and a liberal dose of plain old laughter will do them a world of good and serve their sadistic wives right when they see that all their manipulations to make the lives of their husbands miserable have resulted in nought.

        You know something? I think someone should start a blog to encourage these guys to do just that..how to re-build their self esteem and in fact their lives. I remember certain studies I had read about while studying psychology of how a person takes longer to come out of depression after the death of their spouse, if they are convinced that their chances of securing that happiness with another human being are non existent. I guess the same goes for divorce -I know of cousins and friends, some of them awesome people, who got divorced and who I feel could be really so happy with a different person. Thankfully some of them are…

        While it is natural for you and other such men to berate the wives who have brought bucket loads of misery in to their lives and also to feel frustrated at the gender for having used the laws which gives them an unequal power against men, perhaps they should try to remember and not judge all women based on the the sample set of these wives.
        Anyways, it’s a useless bunch of thoughts as I haven’t been in your situation so don’t really know things well enough to comment on them. Besides getting played up with the ‘weak and poor woman’ card in courts all the time must naturally result in that reaction.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        I do not think you are proselytizing. We are sharing our opinions with due respect for each other’s opinions and experiences. There is nothing wrong with that. As I have already accepted – I find your views balanced and I am not trying to change you either.

        About the blog to encourage them – perhaps you can start?

        What I have learned in my 5 years of fight is that it is more difficult to help men than women. Women have historically asked for help while men are still learning.

        And no – that profile ID is not my Shruti Verma.

        As a matter of fact, many people who fight back are happier today than they were earlier (including myself). My life is so purposeful today, I have more friends than I ever had. I do have a lot of discomfort with the injustice that I see around me (towards men) in society as well as courts BUT apart from that discomfort – my life is better in every respect than what it was before marriage (or during the 4 months my marriage lasted).

  61. Siddant said

    and yes, thanks once more for answering all my questions. It was helpful and appreciate it very much.

  62. Bikram said

    hi ilsv

    i read http://www.hindustantimes.com/Married-woman-can-live-with-her-lover-court/Article1-216975.aspx it says -It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married woman to her husband with whom she does not want to stay.

    so it means, It is improper to pass an order to hand over any unwilling married man to
    his wife with whom he does not want to stay ?

  63. Shailesh said

    i want to know if my wife is working anywhere or not. she has not filed any case against me so far. so can i file rti to the income tax department to get details of her income ? what all actions i need to perform to reduce the alimony amount?

  64. Sahni said

    hi ilsv, can you publish the answers to the above two questions ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Hi, I didn’t reply to those questions because he can research about RTI on his own. There is so much material available online. He just needs to spend time reading through past decisions of CIC etc.

  65. Meetali said

    we do not knoow if my brother’s wife is working or not working. if she doesn’t file for income tax then is there any way to find out her whereabouts ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Usually people involved in such legal battles will not file income tax returns. You can check either with the PF department or check for her resume on job portals or sites like Shaadi.com. In fact, I have been gathering a lot of useful information because Shruti Verma is on Facebook.

      • meetali said

        I read in a site: If you have the information that the accused are planning to leave the country, you can always bring it to the notice of the concerned investigating officer without delay. Police can alert all the international airports or sea ports for their detention, if needed.

        pleeze temme if my brothar wife can get help from any organisation/police to get my brother arrested if he tries to visit abroad. they have not filed any case against him now.

  66. Adhingra said

    Can someone provide me Judgement to prove that no Magistrates can’t seize passport during granting of bail for 498a/406 proceedings . Its quite urgent.

  67. Amit said

    Hi ,

    Do you know if under section 24 HMA, if wife side files interrogatory to find out details about husband salary, is it maintenable ?
    Order XI rule 1 of CPC is cited here.
    But our contention is that inettrogatories are only maintenance for civil suits and not for any interlocutary proceedings such as application under section 24 HMA.

    From your knowledge if you know any relavant citations to support our claim, it will be nice ?
    or any thing in CPC code itself that can further our claim.

    Thanks ,

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      I do not think proceedings under Section 24 HMA are interlocutory. Please read below

      Sri Sambit Parija vs Smt. Surita Parija on 2/7/2001

      High Court of Orissa JUDGMENT

      Pradipta Ray

      1. The wife-opposite party has filed O.S. No. 630/2000 in the court of the Civil Judge, Senior Division, Bhubaneswar against the present petitioner and his patent for annulment of marriage and other reliefs like permanent alimony, damages and return of alleged dowry articles. The ground for annulment is alleged impotency of the husband. The wife has alleged that on the fourth day of their marriage she discovered that her husband is impotent and incapable of consummating the marriage.

      2. In the said suit the wife-opp. party No. 1 filed an application under section 24 of the Hindu Marriage Act (hereinafter referred to as ‘the Act’) for alimony pendente lite and litigation expenses against the husband and his parents. In her application the wife stated that the husband is an Accounts Officer in the office of Director. Employees State Insurance. Bhubaneswar and is drawing a monthly salary of about Rs. 10,000/-. She has further stated that both the parents of husband are doctors and each of them is earning about Rs. 15,000/- per month. Her father-in-law is also getting pension of about Rs. 12,000/-per month. She has claimed Rs. 6,000/- as monthly maintenance and Rs. 15,000/- as litigation expenses. The present petitioner and his parents have filed joint written objection contending that the prayer against the parents is not maintainable and that the take-home salary of the husband is only Rs. 4950/- after all deductions.

      3. During hearing of the said application under section 24 of the Act the wife-opp. party No. 1 relied upon the salary certificate of the husband for the month of January, 2001 which showed his gross salary as Rs. 9246/- and net income as Rs.6599/-after deduction. On the basis of the said salary certificate the trial court by its order dated February 8, 2001 granted an interim maintenance at the rate of RS. 2000/- per month and Rs. 10,000/-as litigation expenses. The Trial Court upheld the objection that under section 24 of the Act no claim can be made against the parents of the husband. Being aggrieved by the aforesaid order the husband has filed this application under section 115 of the Code of Civil Procedure before this Court.

      4. Mr. B. Pal, learned Advocate appearing for the petitioner has contended that an application u/s. 24 of the Act can be disposed of on the basis of affidavits. According to him, an application for interim maintenance is to be disposed of as an original proceeding after allowing the parties to adduce oral and documentary evidence. Mr. Pal has placed reliance on a judgment of this Court in Ganga Devi v. Krushna Prasad Sharma reprrted in 1964 I.L R. Cuttack 958 : XXI (1965) C.L.T. 294. Mr. Pal has also submitted that the amount of maintenance as granted by the Trial Court is excessive.

      5. Mr. B. H. Mohanty, learned Advocate appearing for the wife-opp. party No. 1 has cited several decisions of different High Courts to show that a proceeding u/s. 24 of the Act is a summary proceeding to grant an interim relief and can be disposed of an affidavits. Mr. Mohanty has further submitted that the context of Ganga Devi’s case (supra) was totally different and the said decision does not lay down any law that an application under section 24 of the Act cannot be disposed of on affidavits.

      6. In Ganga Devi (supra) the wife filed an application u/s. 24 of the Act for maintenance pendente lite. In her application she averred that she had no independent income to maintain herself and average income of her husband was Rs. 10,000/- per month. The husband disputed the said averment and asserted that his monthly income was below Rs. 100/- and claimed that the wife had independent income to maintain herself. The wife thereafter filed certain interrogatories on the husband who also filed an objection thereto. The District Judge rejected the wife’s application for interrogatories on the view that Order 11, Rule 1, C.P.C. applies only to suits and not to any interlocutory proceedings. Against the said order wife-opp party approached the High Court in revision. In the said context Hon’ble Single Judge has held :

      “In my view, the mere fact that a particular matter or proceeding is interlocutory is not by itself without more determinative of the question:

      Whether it is an original matter in the nature of a suit.

      The proceeding under section 24 of the Act is an original matter in the nature of a suit. Though the application was filed in a proceeding for divorce under section 13 of the Act, it has no relevance or direct connection with the question of divorce. Even though ultimately the divorce proceeding may end in favour of the plaintiff, interim maintenance and expenses of the proceeding can be granted if the defendant has no independent means. The ambit and nature of the proceeding for divorce are wholly different from the scope of the application under section 24. The issues and the nature of proof would also be different. It is interlocutory in the sense that it arises out of a divorce proceeding, But it is an original matter in the nature of a suit. Even if section 141, Civil Procedure Code were applicable, the procedure provided in the Code of Civil Procedure would be applicable to a proceeding under section 24 of the Act.’

      Thus in Ganga Devi (supra) it has not been held that an application u/s. 24 of the Act cannot be disposed of on affidavits. The ratio of the decision is that the provisions of the Civil Procedure Code are applicable to a proceeding u/s. 24 of the Act.

      7. Mr. Pal has referred to the observation that a proceeding u/s. 24 of the Act is in the nature of a suit. The aforesaid observation has been made to find out the applicability of the procedure provided in the Civil Procedure Code. A proceeding in the nature of a suit does not mean that it is a suit and it is always to be disposed of as a suit.

      8. Rajasthan High Court in Dharamichan v. Smt. Sobha Devi (A. I. R. 1987 Rajasthan 159) has held :-

      “It may also be mentioned that question about the award of alimony pendente lite is not tried as a suit. It is an interim order and is usually inquired into and decided on affidavits. It was observed in Vinoy Kumar v. Smt. Purnima Devi reported in A. I. R. 1973 Raj. 32 by his Lordshsp Kan Singh, J. that in section 24 the word ‘appears’ is used and not the word “proved”. Therefore, application under section 24 has to be disposed of by and large by way of summary proceedings and the court need not try the issue at length. Such a matter should ordinarily be decided on affidavits of the parties concerned.”

      In Vinoy Kumar v. Smt. Purnima Devi, A. I. R. 1973 Raj. 32 it has been held ‘.

      “Therefore, the idea in enacting this rule seems to be that the matter arising under section 24 of the Act has, by and large, to be decided on the basis of affidavits. This is, however, not to say that no evidence ever should be recorded. In appropriate case where the Court finds that the matter cannot be disposed of properly on the basis of affidavits alone, then it may proceed to record evidence and then decide the matter.”

      Bombay High Court in Ketahi v. Girish @ Satish reported in I (1990) D.M.C. 382 relied upon the decision in Vinoy Kumar and observed : —

      “It is thus clear from the abovesaid principle that it is only in exceptional cases that the Court can call upon the party to adduce evidence in the matter. The normal course adopted in such circumstances is the evidence on affidavit.”

      9. In Ganga Devi (Supra) an application under section 24 of the Hindu Marriage Act has been described as ‘an original matter in the nature of a suit’ in the sense that the issues and nature of proof therein are different from those in the main proceeding. The said view requires re-examination. An original proceeding is a proceeding which can be initiated independently of any other suit or proceeding. There cannot be an independent application under section 24 of the Act unless there is a proceeding for any of the main reliefs under the Act. Section 24 of the Act has been enacted for the purpose of giving interim relief during the pendency of main proceeding under the Act.

      10. In any event the provisions of Order 19, C P. C. enable the Court to have any particular fact or facts proved by affidavit for sufficient reason in all civil proceedings including suits. In Paragraph 106 of Chapter IV of the General Rules and Circular Orders issued by the Orissa High Court it has been expressly instructed :

      “106. The Courts should encourage a larger use of affidavit evidence to prove simple and incontrovertible facts, both in contested and uncontested matters. In contested suits, simple and incontrovertible facts may be proved by affidavit evidence at the first instance, and if seriously disputed later, steps for cross-examination under Order XIX, C. P. Code may be taken.”

      It is well recognised that an interlocutory application should be decided on affidavits unless the Court finds it necessary to take oral evidence or to have the deponent of the affidavit produced in Court for cross-examination, An application under section 24 of the Act being essentially an interlocutory application can be disposed of on affidavits.

      11. The purpose behind section 24 of the Act is to provide immediate necessary financial support to the party in a matrimonial proceeding who has no sufficient means either to maintain himself/herself or to bear the expenses of the suit. If such a proceeding is to be disposed of as a suit after taking evidence under all circumstances the whole purpose will be frustrated. In appropriate case the Court may ask the parties to adduce evidence, but that does not mean that a proceeding u/s. 24 of the Act cannot be decided or disposed of on affidavits.

      12. The Court below has found that the net monthly income of the petitioner is Rs. 6599/- and awarded Rs. 2000/- per month as interim maintenance. On the basis of the monthly income as recorded by the trial court, the amount of maintenance does not appear to be excessive. A wife is entitled to get maintenance necessary to live a life com mensurating with the status of the husband. However, grant of Rs. 10,000/- as litigation expenses at the first instance appears to be excessive. According to this Court Rs. 5000/- will be the reasonable amount to be awarded as litigation expenses for the present.

      13. For the foregoing reasons the Civil Revision is disposed of by modifying the order relating to litigation expenses only. The husband-petitioner will pay Rs. 5000/- as litigation expenses. The order relating to interim maintenance is affirmed.

      14. Revision disposed of .

      Citations: AIR 2002 Ori 22, II (2002) DMC 542

  68. Prabhjot said

    as per your response posted at https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/faq-frequently-asked-questions/#comment-1456, you mentioned “Often the guy pays up, hence the girl + family at the time of starting the battle hope for making quick money”

    I want to know of the guy deserts her and starts living on his own. Breaks all contacts with them. So no RCR or police complaint or RTI.

    can there be a better treatment to her than this ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Very difficult for me to comment because I do not know details about your situation. Assuming that you had some differences because of which you are staying separately, I think what you are doing is fine. She did not do anything so bad to you that you want to go after her for revenge. So yes – not doing anything about the situation seems to be a good treatment.

      The problem will start when she starts to make false allegations and cause trouble to you.

  69. Prabhjot said


    please tell me what are the legally accepted documents/verbal evidences that a husband can use to convince the court that he is living separately from his wife since x number of days/months/year.

    rent agreement of the separate rented place of the husband. whose signature should be there?
    judicial separation
    any other option

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Most important thing: What is your intention behind proving the separation period?

      If it is the one year separation period before starting divorce proceedings, I am not in favour of men filing for divorce. You won’t get anything by filing for divorce – my blogs are full of this discussion as to “why you should not file for divorce”

  70. Prabhjot said

    Can wife use DV act to file case with right on my and my parent’s movable and immovable property ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Have you read the three judgements (DIL can’t claim residence in-law’s house) on the homepage of this blog?

      You will get all your answers there

  71. Neel said

    hi ilsv. i was reading your blog. in your reply to prabhjot you warned that problem will start when she starts framing allegations. i want to know, can’t her allegations be produced as evidence that there are differences between the couple and its better to stay separate to settle things ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      The system supports women. Allegations do not mean anything. They just mean that she needs protection from ‘animals’ like you. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but the women would still want to stay with the beast (or at least make them pay for all their luxuries). Allegations are not a reason to stay separate. If you can someday prove that these allegations were wrong, then it becomes ‘torture’ and this torture can be grounds for divorce.

  72. seema said

    recently there is a judgement that if wife continues to be not living with husband for more than ten years then husband is entitled to divorce. but what if she comes before the elapse of ten year timeframe ? how can i use this law in favour of my brother ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Desertion by either party is a ground for divorce. You can apply for divorce after 3 years of being deserted. There are main components of desertion:
      1. Disruption of cohabitation
      2. Absence of just or reasonable cause
      3. The above 2 being present throughout the 3 year period

      • Seema said

        my bro tied lot to save his marriage but when he got fedup with her he left her. at this unwilling act of my bro can she cry cruelty to her ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        She can cry cruelty irrespective of what your brother does. She can desert him and still cry that he deserted her

      • Girish said

        you said: Desertion by either party is a ground for divorce
        1.so it doesnt matter who deserts whom, only that somebody deserted ?
        2. and they can get divorce after three years, automatically or one has to file for divorce due to desertion?
        3. one has to justify desertion also?
        4. what legal proof will have to be provided by the deserter ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        1. The person who deserted can not file for divorce. Let us take an example – your wife deserts you, now she can not go and file for divorce. (In this case, you can). Although in reality, it hardly matters who deserted, because even if she leaves you, she will always cry that you kicked her out.
        2. It is a very long drawn process, search this blog and you would find enough material. There is a search button on the homepage.
        3. Unjustified desertion is a condition
        4. It is difficult to prove desertion if the other party contests – because she can always say that she wants to come and stay with you. If both parties agree, then there is no need to prove anything, whatever you two say will be treated as the truth, it is a family matter

      • mihir said

        she did exactly that you say in 1 above, she deserted me earlier and cried to my family that i kicked her out. her brother left her with me again. when i fed up from her i left her. she says now that she loves me. this is what you say in 4 above.

        i dont know wat to do. they harasing me so that i go to police and complain of them.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        They are not harassing you so that you go and complain to police. They are harassing you either because you do not dance to their tunes or it is just nature nature to harass people. Complaining to police first goes in your favour so they are not really provoking you to go to police

      • mihir said

        you say that if there is absence of just cause then it is desertion. so i should not give any reason to them why i left her ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Who is “them”? (you said – no reason to them)

      • Divya said

        You said that Desertion by either party is a ground for divorce.

        please tell me which of the following four possibilities are possible :

        (a) if wife deserts husband, husband gets ground to get divorce, or (b) after deserting wife, husband can ask for divorce?

        (c) if husband deserts wife, wife gets ground to get divorce or (d) after deserting husband, wife can ask for divorce ?

      • Divya said

        ignore my question as you have already informed that the person who deserts cannot file for divorce

    • Mihir said

      I meant to say, should i not give any reason to my wife why i left her ?

    • Divya said

      What do you mean by saying : Unjustified desertion is a condition ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Every desertion in ordinary terms (whatever a common man means when he says desertion) is unjustified desertion. Justified desertion would be – your husband going to war front to fight a way for a few months, that is not desertion (common sense) and justified desertion (in legal sense)

  73. Rock Star said

    Guys, this is what happens in our counrty. Just spare few minutes and you will get to learn a lot from it. And Sir you are doing a great job. It inspires confidence in many like me. 🙂
    That the present application under section 12 of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act,2005. The incidence of D.V being committed by the respondents are given in details here in below:
    1) The the marriage of the petitioner and the respondent no.1 was solemnized on 11/07/2008 at New Delhi according to Hindu Rites and Ceremonies and after the marriage the Vidai ceremony was held at 6a.m. on 12/07/2008 to the ……of the parents of respondent no 1 at………..
    2) That the petitioner submits that the petitioner was known that the respondent no 2,3,4 demanded that the “ring” and “chunni” ceremonies should be held at a hotel of their choice and the parents of petitioner acceded to their demands and the Ring and Chunni ceremonies were performed on 09/07/2008 at hotel………..The parents of petitioner gave Gold Chain and Rings to the respondent no 2,3, gold ring and clothes etc to respondent no. 4 the other relatives were also given Clotehes, Sweets and cash according to the choice and specific demands of the respondent no 2 and 3 the total expenses for the stay of one day was Rs. 1 lakh the same incurred by the parents of the petitioner. The respondent no. 1 is at presently drawing a salary of approxiately rs 10000 plus allowances.
    3) That the petitioner submits that the parents of petitioner spent lavishly on her marriage as per the demands of respondent no.2 and 3 who had specially demenaded a lavish marriage and an amount of approxiately rs 8 lakh was spent on the marriage.
    4)That the petitioner submits that at the time of marriage on 11/07/2008 respondent no.1 and respondents no2 to 5 were not satisfied with arrangements and counted deficiences and demanded purchase of One Flat in the name of respondent no.1 or disposing one flat in the name of her parents, situated in…………..in the name of respondent no1. and they started abusing her and her parents for giving insufficent dowry and on the day of marriage all the respondents were indifferent towards her and had no interest in the marriage after much cajoling they relented to get the marriage perfomred because of the pressure of society and their own relatives but after marriage they again raised the demand of insufficient dowry.
    5) That the petitioner submits that the marriage was based on false assuranes by respondent no 1 who had an evil eye on the properties of her parents and as he wanted more dowry and also that he had falsely stated regarding his educational qualificiations that he is a graduate with 56 percent having diploma in Russian. He used to threaten her before marriage during her countship and had physical relations with the petitioner and because of that she became pregnant, when he was told he said her to get an abortion and not to tell about the pregnancy to any one or else he would not marry her. As the petitioner had become pregnant with the child of the repsondent no.1 and when this fact was conveyed to him he reluctantly agreed for the marriage and this fact was told by respondent no.1 to respondent no 3 on 14/07/2008 but the parents of the petitioner were kept in dark and the Child was born on 19/08/2008 xxxxx(at one of the prestigious hospital).
    6) That the petitioner submits that it was a love marriage and her parents were against the marriage initially but later on they relented and agreed for the marriage and after her marriage , after the petitioner came to her Matrimonial house it was revealed that respondent no 1 is not the same person as he has projected himself and has changed his attitued towards the petitioner since beginning. The petitioner could not talk to any one as the only male member in her parental home her father used to be out of station as the grandmother of the petitioner is a bedridden.
    7)That the petitioner submits that the on 28/07/2008 when respondent no.5 had called us for a dinner and as went to a beauty parlour for getting ready for the visit respondent no. 1 threw all the belongins of the petitioner at the instance of respondent no 3 for not bringing sufficient dowry and asked her to tell her parents to give dowry as per their status.
    8) That the petitioner submits that she would be tortured by respondent no. 1 to 4 and in order to have any commotion/noise a pillow was kept on her mouth and loud tape recoder the petitioner was beaten and physically abused and threatened with tube lights, rods and knives. Once the petitioner was hit by helmet with so much force that she could barely sleep because of severe pain rather she was bomabared with flithy abuses by all and as not allowed to go to the parental house.
    9) There was no source of entertainment provided at the matrimonial home by respondent no 1 to 4 to her.
    It consists of around 6 dozens points. All shit and garbage. Wastage of paper.
    Please comment on this. Whatever you noticed. Middle finger for these kind of laws of my beautiful country, I am in no ways part of this but being associated with the respondent no 1 (i.e husband) in any such way made me a respondent in this no sense shit.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      I see what you mean when you say ‘waste of paper’. Well, in a man’s language this is a waste of paper but the woman is trying to gather sympathy of the judge by writing these pages and pages. The other difficulty with PWDVA is the term DV is very loosely defined. Look here to see what I mean http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in_4QhWQaq4

      • Rock Star said

        I can understand that you are exhausted of reading these kind of stuff which has no sense. Became a part of your routine. :)But, if I have typed this much than there is some reason behind. I want you to read it. You didn’t read it carefully and passed a comment. Spend 10-15minutes of yours and read it carefully. I have already watched that video before. READ IT. 🙂

  74. Rock Star said

    I just asked for your opinion. What do you have in your mind after reading it? Just say it MR. IIM :). Is it tough for you. lol

  75. Rock Star said

    I received a mail from you. Thank You.
    1)Did you notice that the girl was 8 months pregnant at the time of marriage?
    2)Did you notice that she says that “this fact was told by respondent no.1 to respondent no 3 on 14/07/2008 but the parents of the petitioner were kept in dark and the Child was born on 19/08/2008” ?
    Check out the date of marriage.
    3)Did you notice that she says her parents gave dowry at the time of marriage but did not know about her pregnancy? lol….. All this is happening in the court. Getting my point Mr. IIM. haha……..funny no………..I have alot more to say if you have some time to listen. I do not have knowledge about laws but I do have common sense. And Long live Internet :). CAW has done whatever they have to do. They kept issuing notices, misbehaved, shouted and made us wait whole day in the police station. This happened for almost 1 year with gap of 15-20days in each notice. No probs……and asked us to sign the so called istridhan list……we did not sign the fake jewellery list… we learned. Police need to give 3 working days notice before arresting us….. We got it from the session judge. 🙂 good luck CAW. No easy money can be extracted from us on the basis of false cases. They have asked for 30 lakhs for out of court settlement. 🙂 Most of the lawyers are like half baked cakes…..they want out of court settlement….after charging a tons as fees. They keep asking for money without actually working on the case. Do you know this, on the day of the arguments her lawyer filed an application for interim. Do you know this we did not hear the call in the court and within 10minutes ex-parte order was passed in her favour. See, how fast the court works. lol. We got it set aside and spend couple of thousand more bucks for this even (cost included). Do you know this the child was taken away from us as part of legal tactics by an ex-parte order. The order was passed exactly on his birthday. To give us blow with perfect timings. And then we were asked unofficially if we loved the kid then why did not we filed a case for his custody in the court. Are we idiots mr. dumb lawyers. 🙂 We never saw even police station in life before. But, we (including my aged parents) are dealing and fighting against all this shit. Lot more happened in between. May be I can do my part for the cause you stood for with the little experience I have of almost 2years of all this mess. NO COMPROMISE Mr lawyers. We will go for the perfect solution. 🙂
    Can I ask you a question? Her petition in the court under D.V act and CAW was same. But, if now she changes and improves her complaint in CAW and it becomes contradictory with her petition under D.V act, then will it be of any benefit for us.

  76. Amit said

    Hi ILSV,

    Is the 6 month period waiver for mutual application of divorce considered valid practically ? I understand that this power is only with the SC but still in court rooms, I hear people getting it waivered at lower courts itself ?
    In my case, My contested divorce is ongoing for more than a year now, Opposite party has filed for HMA-24, 125, DV cases. There is a talk through mediators that mutual could be done , if we allow. My child is with them and If they are ready to give back me the child, I am considering this proposal. But it seems that lawyers are suggesting for single day (both motions in same day) mutual divorce citing that courts do it , if judge allows. In my circumstances, if judge allows it at civil court, given the divorce is running in same court for last one year, will it be okay to go for this on technical grounds ? Or I must go through a 6 month minimum waiting period.
    besides, if they make a declaration that in future, there will be no litigation or demand of maintenance in application, can it be useful and reliable from legal persective, to get that in mutual affidavit , in any case?

    Please guide me.


    • iluvshrutiverma said


      You are not correct when you say that only SC can waise the 6 month period. I have seen family courts also do that.

      Anyway in your case, approach it like this: You applied for a divorce, she did not want to give you divorce for a year, but now she wants to give you divorce too. You and she have agreed on the terms and conditions. 6 months is not required now. This was a contested divorce for a year. (Judges might still make you wait for 6 months, actually 6 months is nothing in an Indian court).

      About the future litigation etc, it is better to have that properly documented in the settlement deed. (Sometimes wives have gone back on that too and courts have allowed that, but still having it documented would go in your favour)

  77. Rock Star said

    I wanted to share one thing with everybody here. My case of D.V has been pending for almost 2 years and we have been getting dates on one pretext or the other.
    The news is that her interim maintenance application got a negative response from the Magistrate irrespective of her showing that she is unemployed. And no interim maintence will be provided to her.
    On the date of interim maintenance hearing itself I took charge myself and put my point across strongly with evidence on record that her case is false. The magistrate noticed it and refused maintence and asked us to come on the next date.
    And now the stage of case is on prosecution evidence.
    Sir, My question to you is that, what is going to happen on next date. What does procedure says? What is the next level?
    Thank You
    God Bless You

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Congratulations! Denial of maintenance is already half the battle one. In my life, I won the battle the day she was forced to withdraw her Crpc 125 maintenance application (because I proved in the court that she was working while she was claiming to be unemployed). Once these women start to get free money in the name of maintenance, then it becomes difficult for the husband. If a man can control the financial aspect of the cases, rest of the things are relatively easier to handle.

      Hence, I say you have already won half the battle. What will happen on the next date? Depends on what else has she asked for in her petition – perhaps right to residence? Since she is alleging domestic violence, the law also says the a domestic incidence report should also be placed on record

  78. Rock Star said

    Thank You for your response. Yes, she has filed domestic incidence report and then a rejoinder afterwards. Both are full of self contradictory statements. In one of her statement she said that she was thrown out of her matrimonial home. And, in other statement she said she left on her own. Actually, she does not want to come back but just want me to harass to extract money. So, she is confused on and about my moves.
    On the date of interim maintenance hearing the magistrate asked me that am I ready to take her back? I replied back that I have not thrown her out of home and she left on her own. That is it. Then, the magistrate asked her, does she want to go back. She replied and started with a “NO”. And the magistrate did not listen her further. About her bla, bla, bla torture. She has asked for grant of relieves under section 18,19,20,21,22. I have attached so many evidences to prove my point and she did not attach a single evidence else then some tampered tapped conversation between me and her, her parents.
    She even left her kid behind but as of legal tactics she took away kid by ex-parte orders so that she can give pain to me and my parents who were attached to the baby and the baby to us so much. I did not apply for custody. As, I did not want to waste our hard earned money on legal tangles and half baked lawyers and I had come to know that she loves money more than anything in life and she took away kid because she wanted to file a case and it was her “majboori” to ask for child. “to gain sympathy”. For complete 1 year my parents took care of kid and then she took the kid away by ex-parte orders. When I did not forward any application for custody, it took them (wife and in-laws) by surprise and now they want me to take kid back and pay them 10lacs for the kid and 20lacs to her as final settlement. Her lawyer admitted to my lawyer that he did not know that we had so many evidences against her false statements at the time of mediation. She insulted me, my parents and relatives in front of retired magistrate in mediation cell. As, we are gangsters or hard core criminals. The case is perfect example of open and shut but still they have been able to prolong it on one pretext or the other. Lawyers are not completely reliable. They play games. It seems like both lawyers are from same side and the side is > where they have more financial benefits. And it is beneficial for everybody to be against husband in Indian Judicial System. No problem as long and wherever I can take charge. I will. This is the only sure shot way to win cases. They are even upset about that the child is a male and not a female. Amazing laws of this incredible country.
    Can you please tell me under what circumstance she will be able to get relieves under the above mentioned sections?
    Have, I to give maintenance if I prove her wrong and false in the final arguments?
    Have I to give maintenance for the child? I can keep the kid with myself as I was keeping without any help from her. if she thinks child is a burden and she does not want to spent money on him, but I would not like to give, even a penny to her in the name of kid. What is your opinion/ legal suggestion about it?
    No compromises, No easy money for her,lawyers, No counter cases. It is a game one vs state. one like me, one like you, I mean so many like us. If, I win and I am sure I will and that too on my conditions. I would like to discuss and share with everyone out here. RTI has also a good role to play against these kind of false cases and it can make other party go down on their knees. The RTI process is also too slow. Still, it is a deadly and one of the tool if used properly.
    Eagerly, waiting for your reply.
    Thank You.
    God bless husbands and his family members in this country. 🙂

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      It is not only beneficial for everyone to be against the husband, male-bashing is considered ‘fashionable’. Women by themselves are usually not capable of harming men – the problem happens because of all the male supporters that they have – within their family (brother, father, uncle etc) and outside their family (judge, policemen etc).

      You might have all the evidences but still the judge might order some maintenance because he is out there to protect women, his sexual ego is boosted when he protects women. Also, let’s look at what happened historically – females during pregnancy can not have sex for sometime, and a single male can impregnate many females, hence there was a competition amongst males for females. Many males do so by putting down other males. Today, even if they are not getting sex in return, they still have retained the tendency of seeing other men as competition, and only by putting you down can they get brownie points from women.

      I was listening to this recent ‘sum maro sum 2011 song’, it said “aaj chair keench raha hai, kal skirt khenchega” – today you are pulling a chair for me to sit (showing chivalry), tomorrow you will pull my skirt. So all these chivalrous gentlemen are conceptually the same as womanizers. And remember – the judge sitting there might be one too.

      Same thing applies to child – the judge sitting there things only women can take care of the child (irrespective of what you say), and therefore the chances that you will get the child custody are very less. Hence, automatically you have to pay for the child.

  79. Rock Star said

    yeap, I know her uncle helped you.
    There is no equality in India.
    For example -: reservation of whole compartment in delhi metro for women. Why?
    Reservation of seats in Buses. Why?
    Ladies first. Why?
    Men should earn for the family. Why?
    Down on your knees to propose. Why?
    Domestic Violence Act. No equality.Why?
    Americans laughing at us. 498a. Why?
    No discussion of prostate cancer. Why?
    I asked many feminists but they did not reply back. I asked them Who am I? A male, hindu, asian, north-indian, chauvinist, general category, husband, brother, father. Let me be a human being. But, feminism has got alot of money involved. Everybody knows that women are going to crib for one thing or another. So, huge market, lot of money can be made in the name of dowry law, female foeticide, women’s day and the latest……..d.v act. You know that I have heard domestic violence act was drafted by lawyers. The country is kept busy in all the stupid stuff in the name of women empowerment and ministers are making tons of money illegally. For last 42 years the anti-corruption bill is not being turned into law. Equality should be there in all terms but the people who are in power will not allow this to happen because then the brainy Indians will have time to think about lot more instead of stupid, dumb wives.
    God Bless You.

    *husbands and their family members

  80. Rock Star said

    Join hands. Let us raise our voice against injustice together. We need a community for this. http://www.orkut.co.in/Profile.aspx?uid=7487553667953415077&mt=os&bid=13793061964279519816

    If even 50000 Men can come together on the roads. It will be a huge number. Believe me. We are already late. Let us together make the difference. Women NGO’s are being paid to do what they do. But, we have got fire in our hearts. We are self motivated. Let us help eachother to bring the difference we desire and deserve. tc. bye.

  81. Rock Star said

    Hey 🙂
    Q1) What is evidentier affidavits?
    Q2) Why did magistrate asked her for evidentier affidavits?
    Q3) If the statements in the evidentier affidavits are proven false then can a case under any section be registered against her?
    Q4)If maintenance is denied in D.V and the case is dismissed then can she ask for maintenance again under any law?
    Q5) If a complaint is closed in CAW once then can it be reopened?
    Q6) Can any complaint in CAW be kept pending for any number of years?
    Q7) What is the procedure to register a case under section 498/406? I mean has she go through CAW or even a complaint in the local police station be enough for an FIR.Will I be informed to put the facts?
    Q8) Can I be tried u/s 498/406 for the same facts once aquitted of the charges under D.V act. I mean would it not be the breach of C.R.P.C section 300(1).
    So, waiting for you kind response. You are one of my support system. Do you know that? Great work. 🙂

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1 – never heard of “evidentier affidavits” before but read this http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/What-is-evidentiary-value-of-an-affidavit–131966.asp
      3 – affidavit is submitted under oath. submitting a false affidavit in court is contempt of court. contempt proceedings can be initiated under crpc 340
      4 – yes, she can ask under each law separately
      5 – yes, with slight modifications (in light of new facts)
      6 – yes, 2 – 4 years is normal
      7 – it depends on the state/ city u are in and the current state of affairs. things have improved a bit over the last few years
      8 – yes, there are no “charges” per say in DV act – DV act is to ask for relief based on domestic violence incidents. DV act allegations start as civil, she is saying u are cruel and she wants maintenance/ right to residence etc. The intention of the law is not to punish you (but to grant her relief). 498/ 406 are to punish you. They can very well go ahead after you win the DV case too

      • Rock Star said

        Thank you very much for your response.
        Sorry, my mistake it is
        *evidentiary affidavit.
        Actually, not even a single evidence has been attached by her. On the contrary I submitted evidences against most of her allegations. Her interim maintenance got a negative response. So, the court strictly asked her to file “EVIDENCE BY WAY OF AFFIDAVIT”. She missed it twice but court did not let her go and finally she submitted “EVIDENCE BY WAY OF AFFIDAVIT”.
        In one her allegation, in her petition she said that on particular date she was physically tortured by me at home in the evening in front of my family members.
        By luck, I had medical records of that day of her being under supervision of doctor in the hospital. I submitted it with my reply in the court.
        But, now again in her “EVIDENCE BY WAY OF AFFIDAVIT”, she made the similar statement. Not this single statement but many like these ones which she knows that evidence are availabe with the court and even with her.
        Why is she doing so?
        No fear?
        Next date is put for Cross Examination.
        What should I am suppose to do? Her affidavit is full of false statements. Her petition consisted of 64 points adding upto 125 allegations. But, the affidavit consists of 75 points adding upto 140 allegations.

        Things have improved. I agree but newer gender biased towards women acts are being put on us at regular intervals.

  82. Rock Star said

    One thing more why did magistrate asked her to submit “EVIDENCE BY WAY OF AFFIDAVIT”?
    By my experience I have come to know that fools go for litigations in matrimonial disputes and intelligent communicate and sort of issues. What is the use of being educated? “tareek par tareek sounded funny in films. Now, it is part of my life. Not at all funny. within 5mins magistrate says next date is…bla bla bla….lol…..

  83. Venkat said

    The family court had given a final judgement in 125 crpc without giving an oppurtunity to the husband to cross-examine the wife and to adduce his evidence.It’s almost ex-parte decree even though it was mentioned by the judge that counter was filed and it is a contested case.
    What are the options now in HC? Do the husband needs to deposit 50% of arears(which amounts X lakhs of rupees).
    Do you have any judgements where the HC has given stay for payment of arears and asked for re-trial or setting aside the FC decree..

    Can I have ur mobile no sothat I can discuss in detail.

  84. chetan said


    I need advice , My family is very decent family and I am the only son got married in December 2008 , I live with My father in his house, My wife and I are having problem every other month, She don’t like my attachment with my family and she want to live separately and when the fight get worse her parents and relative come and create scene . But recently they have gone to far they have come and hit me and my parents with shoes. What are the legal step my i can take to protect myself and my family. Please suggest.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      They come and beat your parents with shoes; and you want to know how to protect yourself? What kind of a man are you

      • chetan said

        i think you have not read carefully .I mention myself and my family ie my parents too

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        What I meant was – the natural reaction of anyone in such situation would be being aggressive rather than thinking about defence. Anyway what protection do you have in mind? Did you lodge an FIR at the local police station about this incident?

  85. ab said

    Sir, May I know from where you did your law degree. If i am not wrong you did it from Rajasthan. May I know from which University & city. I think i have interest in law. It is very interesting subject.

  86. chetan said

    No i have not lodge an FIR in the local police station because when i called my local relative they refused that they have done any such thing , and i have no proof of that as beside me and my parents no one was present at that time. secondly after what if after filling the FIR they file the case against me and my family for dowry etc . I want to divorce her but thinking of the time the law take ie 5-10 years , and because of one sided law towards woman i am fearful that it will case a further more harm to my parents . Please guide me as i have no law back ground and have never come across anything like this in my life.I will appreciate all your help.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You do not need evidence for FIR. Even if the police does not file FIR, you should still at least file a complaint there. Here is why – firstly this will bring on record that they did such a thing. Secondly, this would stop them from repeating such incidents. Thirdly, you can always say that the dowry cases were in retaliation of your complaint. If dowry cases are on their mind, then they will come sooner or later. You can not keep living all your life in fear of dowry cases.

      As far as proof is concerned, you can always go to a government hospital and get a medical certificate. Even if there are no visible marks, the skin becomes ‘soft’ if there are injuries.

  87. ab said

    Very Important Judgment On Anticipatory Bail BY SUPREME COURT.

    Bench: D Bhandari, K P Radhakrishnan
    CRIMINAL APPEAL NO. 2271 2010. (Arising out of SLP (Crl.) No.7615 of 2009) Siddharam Satlingappa
    Mhetre …..Appellant Versus
    State of Maharashtra and Others …..Respondents JUDGMENT

  88. ab said

    What is the procedure to get Regular bail from court after filling the charge sheet by police in 498A/406/34.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      if you were on regular bail before filing of the charge sheet, the same would continue under usual circumstances

  89. ab said

    I am on anticipatory bail.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      If you have not violated any conditions of AB., then AB to regular bail is just a formality. Move an application in the court stating that the investigation is complete as the chargesheet has been submitted, hence request to grant regular bail

  90. ab said

    Dear Sir,
    My wife has filed false and contradictory affidavit(Evidance by way of affidavit) in court in DV case(Each and every statement in Petition, Re-joinder and Affidavit are contradictory itself. Sir my query is:
    1) What action can be taken on her by the court by giving contradictory statements in affidavit.
    2) Can I ask verbally to the court to take it as SOU MOTO to registered a case on her.
    3) What is the procedure to dismiss the case.
    4) What is the meaning of Perjury.

    Any other opinion by you is welcomed

    Sir i am realy depressed and i dont know what to do. My lawyer is not guiding me properly.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      1. giving false affidavit is contempt of court and also a crime under IPC 192-196
      2. nothing will happen verbally, you are lucky if something happens even after u ask in writing, women can get away with anything because the judge sitting there is a man
      3. depends on the case, but there will be an application requesting to dismiss (giving the reasons)
      4. u can search on google for legal definition, but in simple english, perjury is lying under oath – all the statements given in court are under oath, affidavits are signed under oath

  91. ab said

    I have query on DP3. If DP3 is applicable in Delhi. If yes, kindly provide me some of the judgements which will help me fighting false 498a case.

  92. suman said

    I have registered an FIR again my husband and inlaws under 498a/406/34. Now after filling the chargesheet by IO 3 name has been removed by him in chargesheet. I have very much doubt that my husband given bribe to IO for removing names from chargesheet.

    My question is:
    Should i ask the court to include there name because they are also culprit by giving an application.
    Or by any how is it possible that court include there name himself if there name are vanished by IO in chargesheet.


  93. ab said

    If there is any time bond in delhi or else to file DP3 complaint.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Limitation act applies – if the punishment for a particular act is ‘x’ years, then the complaint has to be filed within ‘x’ years of the alleged offence. Though in many cases, people filing DP-3 would mention a single incident in the recent past (with all the earlier incidents happening around marriage), and then the problem of limitation is solved

  94. ab said

    If there is any time limit for giving an application to M.M in case of false affidavit/Evidence by way of affidavit. (From the period of giving the affidavit in court in DV case).

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      yes, there is a time period but the time period starts from the time you realized that the affidavit is false (and not from the date it was submitted)

  95. ab said

    If there is any time bond or time limit to file TEP(Tax Evaluation Petition) in 498A or DV case.

    What is the procedure to file TEP? As in 498a chargesheet has not yet been filed (1yrs already)and in Dv, case is on Evidence Stage.

    Can i file my own or is there is any format of TEP application. If yes please provided me the format.

    When to file TEP?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      TEP would be filed in the income tax office, finally it will be investigated by ITO (income tax officer) but u can file it directly to ITO or anyone senior to him (joint commissioner, additional commissioner, commissioner, chief commissioner of income tax – CCIT).

      the time limit is 7 years to file a TEP.

      There is no specific format

  96. ab said

    sir, “you said the time you realized that affidavit is false” you mean any time during the case as my DV case is in Evidence stage and cross examine yet to come and they are delaing the case.
    plz elaborate.
    “yes, there is a time period but the time period starts from the time you realized that the affidavit is false (and not from the date it was submitted)”

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Technically speaking, it can be even any time after the case also. E.g. X and Y are having a court case. X submitted a false affidavit on Jan 1. The case got over on March 15. Y realizes on Oct 1, he can request the court for proceedings of false affidavit then

  97. Mohan Ram said

    Hi ILSV,

    on your answer on comment # 89 above, I did not understand about the process of converting AB into Regular bail by the way of application.
    I am on AB, matter is under investigation. I was asked to submit bail bond alongwith a surety at PS as per court order. I did that. PS had prepared a arrest memo & a bail paper & got my signed. Now should I worry about converting it to Regular bail ?

    second question, my parents were granted a notice bail (when matter was in CAW cell, pre FIR). Now after FIR, should I apply for AB for them or wait for notice from police ? Police (Delhi) had issued notice on my name previously & I had applied for AB based on that notice. Please suggest.

    Mohan Ram

  98. bhimsen said

    What a ridiculous judgement:


    does this mean unless a man has no legal proof of proving to the court that what all has he done to make his marriage work , court is not going to believe that ?

  99. India Against Corruption said

    Watch out the level of corruption in Indian System

  100. Sharon said

    Hats off for the excellent material -all posted i n this blog. I appreciate your patience and your answers .

    I have been separated from my wife for 42 months. I am living abroad and am a citizen. My wife came to India in the pretex of attendind her mother -saying she was sick and never turned back. She has brought our daughter who is 4 years old. Wife works( software engineer) in a different city and child is in a different city. We were in contact intially -3months. Latter my wife sent me few mails each stating harassment and demand for dowry and each mail has got different amounts as demands and one mail sent after 8 months saying dowry was given( AFter thought) . Plent of abuses in the mail involving all my parents.( All In India)
    No complaints abroad. No complaints in India. All lawyers want me to go for settlement. She expects me to forget everything and settle with her. She is havin a nice ball in India

    1)Should I send her a notice or divorce papers
    2) If she lodges domestic violence or 498a—-can i mention about the time limit -delay in filing FIR
    3) child custody.
    4) Should I still sit tight and quite

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Thank you for your kind words. I am glad that my effort is helping others.

      Everyone (lawyers, wife) would want you to settle – because everyone will get money.

      1. don’t make that mistake, getting a divorce in indian courts is impossible (or possible after 10-20 years). and as soon as u ask for divorce, she will ask for maintenance (for herself and child)
      2. yes u can, read crpc 467/468
      3. it will be very very difficult for u to fight a child custody battle in india while living abroad. even fathers living in india do not have a high chance of winning such a case
      4. yes

  101. sharon said

    thank you so much for your advice

    I have deliberately not taken any Job for past few months and would not mind going back to Deihi where my parents are.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Most people who say they are unemployed aren’t telling the truth. I can understand that you do not want to reveal the truth in the courts but why hide actual facts on this blog? If you really have not taken up a job for a few months because of your wife, then you are being really foolish. Get a job, it will keep you busy (also some extra money can not harm).

      • Preet Pal said

        Hi Sharon,

        What ILSV is saying is correct. Even court can say if you are worth of earning amount X as per your salary slip of your last job, the same court can say why are you not earning now ? Just to avoid alimony ? If this can happen against the treacherous and educated women , then why can’t against you ?

        Moreover, why to spoil your own life (worth living ) for someone who holds no worth for you ? Think on it.

  102. Sharon said

    Once a king was passing by his kingdom and he saw a boy playing witha caged bied. The king was a littlebit disturbed. He asked the boy to let go the bird and he refuse. He pampered and coaxed him and the boy would not let go the bird and finally the king told him that he will give a gold coin . The boy greed for this. The king made an announcementt saying that he will give a gold coin whoever set bird free. His minister was not happy with the decision. The king asked him what was the problem. Aftera few days the minister took the king to the forest. there is saw all male members of his kingdom were all engaged in catching birds. 498A LOOKS LIKE ONE SUCH LAW

  103. prem said

    i think very shorty i will face 498 a.
    facing lot of problems .
    now i have 143 call recored having voice of my wife & her mother.
    can i use that recording for legal purpose.

  104. Priya said

    I’m a software engg.Recently I got married with a boy who is also a software engg. we r working at different cities .My husband married me just for money and when he and his family realised that i dnt have much bank balance,they stoped contacting me ,they r neither picking my phone cals nor they r communicating. Nw they want divorce, they also denied to give stridhan and maintenance. They said as u r working woman, we are not giving any maintenance /stridhan. What should be my next step.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Your husband and family do not know what a woman can do in this country (actually most countries in the world). Specific maintenance amount will depend on both (your and his) the earnings that can be proven in court. In case you really want to cause them trouble, you can think of IPC 498A etc

  105. srinivasan said

    suit for specific perfomance dismissed on 23.02.2010 by district session judge of salem,now i ll file appeal agaist dismissed order so how many dayelimitation period?sec 5 petition allowed or not?

  106. Aditya said


    Got married to girl ( mine as well as girl’s second marriage, arranged one) who has filed a 498a on her first husband, now she is living separately from 1.5yrs, and now they are threatening us he same.
    can her past ( where she has filed a 498a on her first husband) can come to me as a rescue ?

    what I need to do as they are behind money only.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You made the biggest mistake by marrying such a girl – who had filed 498a in the past.

      Her past will not help you.

  107. Saurabh said


    My wife is very much aggressive & she often warn me for having FIR under 498a. This is very well known to every one around my family & neighbours that she got a aggressive nature.
    This is already passed 6.5 years of my marriage.
    Kindly suggest me if I can do something to protect me & my parents?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      If she is threatening FIR under 498a, then at some point she definitely will. You can protect against an arrest by recording her threats and seeking anticipatory bail.

      • Ronit said

        what if the recording of the threats are not in same media in which the threats were recorded. say it was recorded on phone but due to mechanical failure the phone is broken now but the recorded file is still preserved intact. can one make use of that recorded file ?

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        usually they are accepted as they are. in cases of extreme importance (TADA POTA etc) – the court can get it verified from technical experts that the contents are genuine and un-tampered even though the storage media changed.

  108. Ravi said

    Hi! at the outset i welcome myself to the growing number of men in bad shape!!!!
    i ve been following your blogs and site for quite some time. I need some advice please. I am an army officer who is being harrassed by his wife.
    i was married in 1997 she was my class mate things were just about fine initially. As i rose in service my success started going to HER head. She is elder to me in age and slowly she became suspicious of me. Started accussing me of having extra marital affairs. I kept telling her to stop this, my field postings did not help matters. finally disgusted of her behaviour i started being in field more often and for longer periods. Infact i have been in Kashmir for the last five years. I rarely go on leave that too only for few days. I have two daughters aged 12 and 7 now. they have also grown cold towards me and donot want to interact with me any more. Frankly ! i now want out of the marriage at all costs.
    In dec 2010 was the last time i went on leave, we had some monumental fights, i walked out . The moment i left she started calling my superior officers and complaining that i am having an affair with the wife of one of my subordinates. The organisation is too high on moral issues and got after me like crazy. Meanwhile the said subordinate who was actually having his own problems and had already filed for a mutually consented divorce availed this opportunity and colluded with my spouse and added fuel to the fire by filing a complaint against me. I AM BEING SCREWED BY THE ORGANISATION BIG TIME.
    but god is there and the divorce of this subordinate came through and now he has no case against me and the lady who was co accused with me supported me fortunately and the organisation could not produce any evidence or could not prosecute

    I was devastated, my blooming career is finished. When i confronted my spouse she openly told me ” i will bring u to the road and make u beg”.
    She said i will destroy you. I asked her why are you doing this? do u realise that by blaming me like this i will not have any face to show in the organisation. I was on the brink of committing suicide.

    she could not care less.

    I begged her to give me a divorce and i promised i did not want anything from her. I transferred all my worldly belongings to her – car, scooter, household goods, her streedhan every thing.

    i then got a mutually consented divorce petition drawn up and even agreed to give her the house which i had lovingly bought worth 42 lakhs ( 25 lakhs loan) i even agreed to keep paying the loan for the rest of my life for the sake of the kids. ALL I WANTED WAS TO NEVER SEE HER FACE AGAIN.

    only i know the humiliation i have gone through in a closed organisation like the army where moral standing is the key to every thing. My entire life is ruined.

    She simply refused to accept the petition and said that she doesnot want to give the divorce.

    All my pay use to go in a joint account, since i was in field i did not need much and hence all the ATM etc were with her – she refused to return those as well and said that why did i need the money – if i had money i would spend it on other women.


    I finally got my pay account changed. SHE APPROACHED THE ARMY AUTHORITIES AND GOT 23.5 % out of the pay as maintenance allowance. Since i was in such bad shape i could not continue the payment of the EMI and had to finally surrender the flat.

    The moment she came to know she filed a civil case against me for injunction on stoppage of sale. and seeks half the share of the property. When i have no property in my name and the one which i had booked i was unable to pay hence foreclosed it – how can she ask a share out of it. infact the developers have in turn deducted money out of the amount i had paid. In the bargain i had lost more than 10 lakhs.

    finally having suffered thus for the past 2 years – being humiliated and kept like a virtual prisoner for the past 9 months i was able to get some leave and have filed a divorce on 04 Feb 2012.

    she still continues to be belligerent and says she will make me run around for atleast 20 years before even she starts thinking of giving a divorce. She says she will not let me re marry anyone and make my life a living hell.

  109. srk said

    Hi ISLV,

    Harassment met by me, my family members – from my wife and in-laws.

    I have marital discord with my wife and in-laws. I have not been 498 – A ‘ed yet, only because of the actions taken by me in the form of Police complaints and HR Case No. xxx/2012 dated 15/05/2012 which is scheduled in August, 2012, before APSHRC, Hyderabad, NHRC accepted the case and transferred it being a state subject.
    My in-laws have been harassing me from four years altogether on this aspect. Even after my divorce case filed in 2010, (marriage happened in Aug 2006) and joined on terms accepted in the court, she didn’t change.
    My mother-in-law, even threatened before elders that she was more intended to go police station and file a false 498A against me and my family members on one such occasion when the elders were having discussion. In turn they made me arrest twice. Elders brought that we will first have discussions among the elders.
    My parents have never lived nor visited during these years, except for 6 months which she lived together with my parents, even though she wants to create trouble to my parents by falsely implicating my parents into the case.
    I am true unto myself, I waited for about 6 years to correct herself and her family members themselves being an incorrible optimist but they are hell-bent on harassing me. I vacillated till now because it involved life of mine, my children and her family members, but it was nothing before them because of their apathetic and anachronous behavior.
    My in-laws and their elders failed to meet since this may, giving frivolous reasons for a clandestine meeting with their elders. On one occasion the SI of police told that my in-laws are interested coming through court for action against me. I was of the opinion not to file any case from my side. After going through your blog, I made it clear not to file divorce case from my side. I know the other side well, they are behind money, and they won’t settle it before elders and drag the matter to court. Please suggest what should be my course of action it happens to be a legal one. She is not willing to divorce. I want to get rid of her, not only me all the elders from our side want to get rid of her, not to tell about my parents who actually were against withdrawal of the divorce case filed in 2010.

    Me 35 yrs, She 29 yrs
    No cases filed yet.
    Living separately with respective parents
    Me left house after police complaint
    Have all electronic evidences, even documentary
    Children with her only (No chance of getting – as we know legally too – girl child and boy – twins – DOB: September 2008 ).

    Thank you for your patience and will to help every one fight for a cause.

  110. romimoto said

    Hi there, You have performed a fantastic job. I’ll certainly digg it and in my opinion suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited from this site.

  111. Priya said

    My brother has filed for a annulment as his marriage has not completed one year. I plan To go abroad for studies. I expect the family of the girl to file a dowry case. Can you tell me what happens in that case am I considered to be absconding? Please advice.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      You are thinking too much into the future. Absconding takes years to happen. Moreover your physically not being present does not make you absconding. Still to answer your question – if you are absconding, then the next step could be to attach your property (which if you are young enough, you do not have any, so relax)

  112. Sanjeev said

    I am looking for ways to contest and delay a divorce without coming to India. Would appreciate if you can provide any input. Also is there any way I can speak to you and gain from your perspective… Thanks in advance

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      There are plenty of ways to delay a divorce case in India – for example, apply for a case transfer and it will easily take 1-2 years for that transfer case to get decided.

      Sorry I will not be able to speak over the phone. Earlier I used to do that but later realized that public discussions benefit multiple readers at a time.

  113. berojgar said

    Thanks dear sir for all the information that’s passed on this blog. I am new enterant to this fraternity, my wife lodged 498A few months ago and then police sent a letter to my employer stating that there is a case against me asking if I am coming to office or not.
    My employer is now going to sack me. Please let me know if police can send a letter like that to any employer and how can I save my job?


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      It is so unusual for the police to send such a letter. Anyways, the employer should not sack you for this reason. A case is nothing but a complaint. In theory, anyone can accuse anybody about anything. I can accuse you of stealing Rupees 15 Cr from my bank account. That does not mean anything about you. Explain this to your employer and you will be just fine.

  114. Wonder said

    1. is WS filed only once in the Mahila Court or the Lower Court or in all other life cycles of the law like in higher court and supreme court ?

    2. if i apply for anticipatory bail for FIR in DV then will i have to sumbit my passport to the police ? if not then at what

    stage would it be mandatory for me to submit the passport to ensure i get bail ?

    3. i am in the mediation stage in mahila court with no fir. can the judge pass the protection orders for right to residence to her or the protection orders can be passed only when the DV trial starts after FIR etc in DV ?

    ILSV i am with very limited time left to reply to my court . this is like life and death situation for me.

  115. Balli said

    i want to publish in the newspaper, the following:

    I am Balwinder Dhillon . Being a law abiding citizen, as per court order# ABC: To sit at home since july5 2011 , I am paying Rs 7000/month to my wife – Maninder Kaur Dhillon (M.Ed B.Ed).

    can i publish this without any legal hassles ?

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      The meaning is not coming out clear. “To sit at home since july 5, 2011” is not really fitting in – probably some English syntax/ grammer changes are required.

      As long as you are stating the facts, there should not be any legal implications. Court judgments are public information – you can even publish them in the newspaper

  116. Abhishek said

    Hi ILSV

    At the onset let me Thank you for doing such a tremendous job, I salute you.

    I am putting lot of details here, and my sincere apologies if that is causing incovinience, but some where in your post I read you mentioned ” for the benefit of other members”. I learnt a lot of such unworthy wives and women when I read expereinces of fellow members in this forum and some others, and I feel if by knowing my expereinces some one can wake up early, then this whole exercise of sharing the minute details is worthed. I have gone through tremendous mental agaony, like in many situations we men tend to make ourselves believe that things will be good one day. This is just not true.

    Murphy’s Law – A thing which is supposed to go wrong will go wrong.

    So listen to the indications, and get prepared early. Stop these tormenting wives who think they can rule our lives.

    About my case

    My current residence : Pune
    My Hometown (Parents home ): Dehradun
    My Bitter half (in-laws) : Delhi

    I got married in 2009 and immediately after wife and I moved to US as I was on a assignment there. Things were good initially and we came back in mid 2010. Since

    begininng her contact with her mother was too much, I found it wierd but ignored ( what a fool I am ). I had to attend to my father who underwent a surgical procedure

    then, so I decided to work from home and my company allowed it. My wife on some or the other pretext keep visiting her parents for long periods during this time, and simultaneously creating problems at my place, and throwing tantrums raising adjustment issues and so forth. As expected I ignored this trait too.

    In 2011 she concieved and during that time I again had to move to US for a short term assignment, she played it well and convinced me and my parents for her stay during

    pregnancy at her parents place. I agreed and made arrangements for her safe travel infact accompanied her.

    During the pregnancy months I was in touch with her every day, things look good though she kept citing some or the other issue with my mother, on the pretext of rituals

    and all. As I was on touch with my parents I knew I am getting half the story and that too cooked up. By this time, I had developed the skill to infer, but again decided to ignore. During these months from August 2011, to March 2012 I was sending her money every month to meet Doctor’s expense and other maternity needs something around 20K every month. Another folly of mine…

    In March 2012, I came back to India for good and to attend to my wife, made a short visit to my hometown in between.

    On April 6, 2012 I became father of a baby boy. Next day my parents came to see the child and mother. My wife and my mother had some arguement, and this happened in

    presence of one of her relatives. From here on things went in a downward spiral.
    After my parents left the hospital, my in-laws family ganged up together and started giving me looks, all of their relatives and friends were from her mother’s side. I

    was getting uncomfortable, then in front of all, her mother humiliated me and insulted me and used all foul language against me and my family. I was in a shock, and could not belive what was happening, Since I was staying at their place, I decided to move out the very night this incident happened and I did.
    Next morning I reached the hospital as usual, (By the way I got her admitted to hospital and was even taking her for Doctor visits, getting medicines etc, all usual

    stuff of a husband) I went to her room, and I had a heated arguement with her father, he was abusive to start with. Then mother joined and started threatening and it

    got worse, all this was happening in front of my wife. The parents were saying that they will separate me from my wife and child and I was opposing it. (To my senses

    wasn’t it the right thing but .. )

    I stormed out of the room, because I felt at one moment I am going to hit that old man in face, and silence his blabbering for good. I went out and sat in hospital

    lobby trying to calm down myself.

    1. After some time I was approached by Hospital security staff and they asked me my name etc and showed me a letter which was signed by my wife. The letter stated that

    I husband of ‘ My wife’s name’ is creating trouble for her and her child and that the security department of the hospital should intervene and ensure safe stay of the

    patient and safe transit to home after discharge and that I should not be allowed to meet the patient and child. Though the security guys were polite and resonable they

    said, please do not create any situation here and they are forced to listen to the patient. The application was written by cunning FIL and my wife had signed it. I

    could not believe once again if this was really happening. I did nothing and the security guys also didn’t disturb me. I was trying to be a gentleman .. how foolish.

    2. Some half an hour later, I noticed that I am being watched, I found my brother in law (her cousins, one of her mausi’s son), and their friends were taking rounds of the area where I was

    sitting, some 10 boys. Some of them whom I never saw before. I stayed calm and did not react, my stupidity again.

    3. Well after this I came back home, extremly disturbed and took me some days to collect my self. In between I was talking to wife, apologising and what not, to

    have her back and get my family (child and wife) back. She kept on throwing the tantrums and continued with the verbal and mental harrassment.

    4. By 17th of April I was in Pune as I had to join office, and I did it more so to divert my mind from this ongoing mental agony. On 24th April I got a call from my wife that my son is in hospital, and doctors are about to admit the baby. She did not gave any more details and hung up. I kept trying to reach her and after about 4 hours she picked up and told me that they took the lumbar sample of the child and admitted him to NICU, she also said arrogantly that she gave the consent for lumbar sample. Its a invasive procedure, though in medical terms minimal invasion but they puncture the spinal cord and pull the ceriburum liquid to perform some tests, but it has its own risks, that why they are mandated to take consent. I protested that why she did not tell me, and asked me before, and she gave all kind of lame reasons.

    5. I took the first flight out of Pune and reached Delhi the same day, was in hospital at 12:00 AM. To my utter surprise I found that child was indeed in NICU but mother was no where to found, nurses told me that she left for home. I was shocked to the core, how can a mother leave the child and just move on as if nothing happened. I called her up and gave her a peace of my mind. Then in hospital’s waiting area I found one stupid person sleeping on the bench, and this was my father in law. This day I came to know he was a spineless swine. Inface swines should be holding more respect. His wife and daughters left for home to sleep and this idiot was left behind. I again had a arguement with this person by eventually citing his pitiful situation I kind of made peace with him at least on talking terms.

    6. They kept the child for 5 days and eventually discharged saying nothing was found all tests were clear. I feel they made money and my idiot in-laws and stupid wife endangered the life of my child. I am not a Doctor so cannot comment more on the diagonosis.

    7. By this time, I was fed up to a very large extent and when my wife summmoned me to make the hospital bill payment, I denied.

    8. Came back to Pune, and stopped communicating with my wife.

    9. In July one of her elder cousin brother (from her father’s side) approached me and stepped in to mediate. The extended family of my idiot FIL seems to be reasonable but now I don’t trust anyone. Ok , back to elder brother, he gave lot of assurances and apologised for all the wrongs and convinced after 3 days of conversations that he will get his sister to Pune along with the child and they will stay peacefully.

    10. On 9 July 2012, my wife flew from Delhi to Pune and along with the mediator brother, I got her home with child. I thought may be she realised her mistakes and is repenting, to err is human and to forgive is divine, how untrue…and again another folly of mine.

    11. She was good only in the first week, then started the never ending cycle of complaints, mediatator trying to pacify things and she getting more and more arrogant and aggressive. I started getting restless. I started ignoring her.

    12. The only thing I was enjoying was spending time with my son, playing with him, attending to him, changing diapers, preparing feed bottles, massaging, making him bathe all about the baby work. I found I am a good father, like all dads in this forum.

    13. During her short stay with me here she again started her daily conversations with her mother. I objected to mediator and he did all he could to stop them but to no avail.

    14. In August along with my wife and child, I went to my home town. My family members welcomed us and forgave my wife and her deeds. They threw a party and havan and everything to celebrate the birth of the child.

    15. Upon my return, after a few days, my wife resumed the aggression started getting back to her original self of complaining and harrassing.

    16. Some time in Septemeber 2012, she fell really sick and was diagonosed with acute case of malaria, she was almost bed ridden, I took her to the best possible medical help available, changed three hospitals in a course of 10 days to get her the best treatment. I was off work and attened to her 24 X 7 , and simultaneously taking care of the baby single handedly. She recovered by mid October and was healthy again to torture me. Foolish of me again ….

    17. In November 2012, I planned to visit my home town as it was first Diwali of my son and its a big deal in family to celebrate all first year festivals of the new born. Earlier my wife was fine with the plan but suddenly a week before she started objecting to it that she will not go.

    18. Despite my best efforts to make her understand, she stuck to her adamancy of not travelling to my home town and the reason was that its too cold there.

    19. By this time, again a arguement started over the travel plan and mediator came in picture, but nothing changed.

    20. She then opened the cards and told she will go to her parents home but will not come to my hometown. I took a stand and told her ‘as you please’.

    21. On November 6th 2012, she travelled with me upto Delhi, her mother sister and one swine maternal uncle came at Railway Station to pick her up and that was the last time I saw her. Since then I am not in touch with her.

    I am not taking her back. I will fight back.

    I am sure that given my wife’s past record she will restrict my access to my son if I try to meet him. So my questions are

    1) Can I file only the child visitation rights petition now, without filing anything else like divorce or custody. My marriage was registered under HMA.

    (I agreee with you , I am not in hurry to divorce her, atleast for next 2-3 decades)

    2) If the answer to above question is yes, then from where Pune , Delhi or Dehradun ? To my understanding its where the child resides in that case, Delhi.

    3) In some other forum some one suggested to file a child rights violation and pray for visitation rights of father, its a different way to look at the same thing. The reasoning was that instead of fighting for father’s right to see the child, a child has a right to father as per UN convention act which Indian cosntituion abides to a child cannot be denied any of the parent , if one parent is denying the access to other then they are invariably violating the child right. Then they suggested to file RTI in NCPC and get confirmation that NCPC has not done any study in single parenting etc , to make the case strong enough that court cannot ignore it. Do you see any merit here, is it correct ?

    4) If I am able to file such petition, then as soon as my bitter half and in-laws will come to know they will retaliate by false 498a/DV/DP cases, and I got to be prepared there. What do I need only AB and I should do it along with Child visitation request ?

    Looking forward for your response.



    • Jane2u said

      Hi Abhishek,
      Being a woman not involved in any such case, I am not someone who can help you on legal issues or perhaps even emotional hurt that you’ve gone through. However, bear with me and hear me out. My brother and his wife have had lots of difficulties in the past;things have improved temporarily in the last one year -which could be either due to some steps that he and my family took or perhaps she -my SIL and her family desperately want them to have to baby after 7 years of marriage and have decided to play nice hoping for a baby. Anyways assuming that the steps my family took helped in some little way, let me tell you about them.

      Our dad is a retired Air Force officer and broad minded enough to leave the selection of his bride even though through an arrange marriage route, entirely to my brother -something that my SIL’s family saw as enough proof that my parents were very malleable and could be dominated over easily. Additionally, not having lived in Uttar Pradesh but a very ‘Defence-cultured’ life, my family were not aware of the family politics and ego driven actions that seem to be really common in that area. Anyways, my sister in law had the same issue of talking to her mother obsessively..even telling my brother that she only got married in order to make her parents who were worried about her not getting married feel good and if she had her wishes she would continue living with her parents. (To normal girls and I am classifying myself in that category -((having had an almost 5 years of happily married life so far -touch-wood!)), a marriage is an event in life which one looks forward to -for the idea of having one’s own house, your own kind of independent life, a husband to love and be cared for by is exciting). Anyways, her mother and sister treated him rather strangely on their visit to his house after my brother and SIL was married )which was in a different city from both my parents and my SIL’s parents) -not talking to him, ignoring him, calling him a ‘na-mard’! All my extended family being very cultured, we had never heard of any such behavior towards one’s damaad –all of my extended family treat their in laws with respect and kindness and a lot of friendliness. In fact the usual idea is that the girl’s parents are extra nice to the daughter’s husband (mine definitely are -very respectful, friendly and loving towards my husband -which makes him genuinely welcome them in to our home, every time they visit).

      Things continued for years-with my SIL taking turns at getting depressed and aggressive in turns -never talking to my brother once he got home from work, ignoring him entirely for days, while talking away chirpily over the phone to her own parents, ignoring my parents when they visited them (approximately once an year and never more than for a week). She refused to consult a counselor when my brother suggested it (he had initially only meant counselling for the dysfunctional marriage that they were living through and later realized that she needed medication for depression and did take anti depressants before marriage -which her father had never mentioned to him but happened to one day when she was crying without any reason at her own parents’ home and my brother explained to his father in law that this was regular behavior at their own home too). What is it with people from small cities (Any city in UP,in my view is a small city when it comes to people’s awareness levels) that they feel that any visit to a counselor is life a first step to being committed in a loony bin and people avoid it like the plague!

      There was a lot of unpleasantness on the part of my brother’s in laws as well, with his father in law actually mentioning police case against him once -despite the fact that he never once raised his hand on her, had moved to the city where her parents lived and had taken a house near her parents even though it meant an extra 30 mins of commute for him to work. But let me skip over the actual instances -not being very aware of some of them too, as my parents felt that they did not want to affect my happiness by narrating all of that to me.

      Finally, after around 6 years of their marriage, when my parents visited the city where he and his wife and her parents lived, they set up a common meeting with her parents. Her parents again started the rant that my brother was the wrong guy for their daughter and it might be better to break things off. After all those years where my father always encouraged my brother to try and ignore the taunts of his wife and find distractions and friends outside the home to spend his weekends with to make the marriage work, for the first time, my parents mentioned that they also hoped to have found a girl for him who would try to be happy rather than always sad and aggressive towards her husband. They hoped that the new girl ‘they found’ for him would have those qualities. When my brother’s in laws realized that for the first time, my parents had been daring enough to suggest that even my brother (now a highly paid executive and having always been very handsome -a 6 footer guy with a head full of genetically good hair) could go for second marriage, that they actually backtracked in to being non aggressive for once. They said that they will ensure that my SIL stopped talking of divorce to my brother all the time and tried to make things work.

      So the lesson that we learnt through all this is -that to be gentlemanly and to act in the cultured way that you are used to, with people from an entirely different background does not work. Another thing we realized –the people living in UP are more concerned about what others will say about their family rather than the happiness of their own family. The stigma of a divorced daughter -whom every asks about when they visit your home (this culture is laughable to anyone like me who has lived in cities like Bangalore and Mumbai and Pune and now in US for the last 3 years but apparently it’s true in UP), is sometimes enough to make these ultra aggressive people try to be reasonable.
      In your case, what might work is that you try to take a long term onsite assignment, take your parents with you and try to serve her with a divorce notice from the US. ISLV has already mentioned that taking voice recordings of phone call conversations will help as they can be used as proof that your family and you never really did indulge in cruelty towards her. The very real looking intent of divorce just might make your in laws consider reconciliation and counselling (if you are open to that, of course but having a baby to use an emotional pawn towards you, I suspect that you will want to try and make things work).
      All the best.
      A concerned woman.

      • Abhishek said

        Hi Jane2u

        I appreciate your patience in reading my entire write up and then providing such detailed information. Its really heart warming, gives me courage to come out in open. Thanks a ton

        My dear wife has damaged things beyond repair without applying her brains on what she is damaging. Had there been no child out of this wedlock, I could care least. But the situation is changed here, I am a father now, unfortunately she is the mother.

        I will not run away, but fight for my rights and my son’s, I understand it comes with a risk of getting implicated in false cases and all and I am mentally prepared for that. I got to leave my ‘Gentleman’ behind me, something which gets pumped into all Defense Officers family in the upbringing itself.

        Its better to die upright then to live in humiliation.


        Dear ILSV and fellow forum members

        Could you advise my legal queries on Child visitation. Thanks in advance

  117. nobody said

    1) Can I file only the child visitation rights petition now, without filing anything else like divorce or custody. My marriage was registered under HMA.

    (I agreee with you , I am not in hurry to divorce her, atleast for next 2-3 decades)

    >> Yes, you can file child custody petition in section 12, 25 GWA, 1890. without filing for divorce. in fact, filing for custody is better than filing for divorce.

    2) If the answer to above question is yes, then from where Pune , Delhi or Dehradun ? To my understanding its where the child resides in that case, Delhi.

    >> where child ordinary resides i.e. in delhi in your case, I think.

    3) In some other forum some one suggested to file a child rights violation and pray for visitation rights of father, its a different way to look at the same thing. The reasoning was that instead of fighting for father’s right to see the child, a child has a right to father as per UN convention act which Indian cosntituion abides to a child cannot be denied any of the parent , if one parent is denying the access to other then they are invariably violating the child right. Then they suggested to file RTI in NCPC and get confirmation that NCPC has not done any study in single parenting etc , to make the case strong enough that court cannot ignore it. Do you see any merit here, is it correct ?

    >> not a normal path, may not be very productive. cann;t comment.

    4) If I am able to file such petition, then as soon as my bitter half and in-laws will come to know they will retaliate by false 498a/DV/DP cases, and I got to be prepared there. What do I need only AB and I should do it along with Child visitation request ?

    >> you would need to file for notice bail/AB when they file case in CAW cell.

  118. this guide said

    What you have started is remarkable. This blog is of really big help for people like me who do not know much about the law and lawyers/ police/ judiciary only want to make money by extortion

  119. harrased husband said

    am in a dillema as to what step i shud take.will be greatfull if u can enlighten.briefly my question as follows..
    1.married in arya samaj against and without the presence of parents.
    2.never stayed with parents after marriage.
    filed for divorce after which my ex counter filed false 498 against me and parents.
    3.parents got ab in lower court and i got into mediation in high court.
    4.meanwhile IO report submitted during my interim bail proceeding in high court and he has mentioned clearly that parents are not involved and should be spared.
    4. i am planning to go for quashing of parents only ,in high court on basis of IO report.
    5.what are the likelihood of their acquital and what judgements can help me.
    6.is this likely to be a long process and if am successful then can my parents file criminal defamation against my ex.
    thanks for any help…regards

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      3 – AB cannot be granted by the lower court

      Explain to me why do you want to go for quash against your parents? May be there is a logic that is not apparent to me right away. But at first glance, it looks like, they should be discharges in the lower court itself when the trial begins – charges should not be framed against them.

      And yes – then they should file defamation charges

      • harrased husband said

        3. the word used is agrim jamant whic i guess means interim bail for parents.i was in mrchnt navy and am in calcutta and she is in jaipur. my divorce,498 and anothr 138 ( i gave her 2 blank cheks while going on ship whic after filing for divorce she gave to sm unknown person who got them bounced by filling 20lakh rs) cases are alll in japr.so needless to say that running for all these case dates to jaipur is taking a toll. i want to go for quashing of parents in high court so that i can file a defamation case from calcutta so that she also goes thru this running routine.but if quashing for parents on previously mentioned grounds is going to be a long drawn process and may complicate things further ,then would wait till trial begins in lower court as u suggested.please throw light on course of action to be taken.

        thanks for time,
        regards and truly appreciate this endeavour of urs.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Do you know that you can get the cases transferred to another state via the Supreme Court? It is not highly but it is possible – it depends on the reasons. (FYI – I was able to get my cases transferred out of Shruti Verma’s home town – I asked for the cases to be transferred to my home town but SC transferred it to a third state altogether – then the ground becomes level to play).

        In your other message you mentioned that you will not go for quashing if the process is long drawn – I would tend to think the other way around – the longer the process the better for you. Cases in HC will not need too much of your time and presence. There are 2 approaches to fighting this battle – first is to finish all the cases quickly, the second is to delay the process so much that the girl gets frustrated (whatever they pretend now, in about 3 years they feel the need to be called Mrs. XYZ again and also their biological clock is ticking). The first approach to finish the cases quickly cant happen in Indian courts. So I always recommend the second approach.

      • harrased husband said

        dear ilsv,
        am full of admiration for u for the work u r doing.the struggle against this biased legal system is akin to mahabharat war.i too am trying to fight and not give in the blackmail and give money to the ex…….but u know what this eye opening scene in my life has in a way freed me….i hav a different openion of marriage from what i earlier had.just trying to keep afloat….
        qudos and keep up the effort…

      • vinay sharma said

        3. dear ilsv, the word used is agrim jamanat.i want to go for quashing in hc on previously mentioned grounds so that i can file defamation charges at earliest but would detest from doing so if it will be a long process and if it can complicate matter further.in that case,would wait till case starts in lower court ,pls throw some light on course of action to be taken.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Agrim is a Hindi word that means ‘advance’/ ‘in advance’/ ‘ahead of’.

        So agrim jamanat means anticipatory bail and not interim bail.

        Anticipatory bail cannot technically be granted by lower court but anything is possible in India 🙂

      • harrased husband said

        hi ilsv,
        in another jeopardy…would appreciate any help.i was workin abroad and while going out of india i gave 2 blank cheques 2 my wife.they were signed blank cheques but with no date,name amount.one of the cheque she used 2 yrs ago itself,the other she gave to a third person after i filed divorce.he filled huge amount in it and got it bounced.now i am fighting 138 along with 498..please can u site some judgements where misuse of blank cheques like these have been done and which can help me.thanks for ur time.as always ur endeavour is truly appreciated.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        file a complaint of forgery/ fraud against this third person – if he says u owe him a huge amount, he has to prove the reasons behind. say that he stole the check

  120. anuradha said

    hi,i got married in 2003. my husband and his family tourchered me regularly .i leaved their home in2006 because of mently and physicaly tourcher.after that my hus. lived with me meny of police officer pressure.but he tourcher me continusly finencly physicaly, mentaly etc.2013 jan.he beat me more ,through the advice of his faimly.i had reported. 489a etc chargeg apply by police against my hus. only.because of his father appoarched, he did not arrest and got bail.i want get justic,so i want report against my in laws also.please give me suggestion,what i do, for arrest them

  121. 498a125misused said


    I am looking for HC/SC Judgement where maintenance is denied to wife on the basis where she was working before marriage.

    My wife is 7 years of expereince in teaching field before marrage and B.com + PGDCA + Nersury Teacher Training Course.

    I have filled divorce on baisis of mental cruetly .We have baby boy and i am aleady paying 3000/- per month for Kid to her via cheque and i dont mind to pay for my KID buti just dont want her to sit and eat my money.

    She is planning to file false 498a now , will it be considered as Counter Attack ?

    Please help.I am not in hurry of divorce and same is with her.

    • Rahul said

      Please help ILSV . She hitted me with 498A , I am on bail now ……”I am looking for HC/SC Judgement where maintenance is denied to wife on the basis where she was working before marriage.”

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        I cannot think of any judgment right now, you will need to search – on my blog and on internet in general. There might be a few judgments that you will help you but largely the law says to take into account husband’s earning capability and wife’s earning. Notice the difference between husband’s capability versus wife’s current actual earnings. You will say “this is so biased” and I agree!

  122. harrased husband said

    hi ilsv,
    one query…i was fighting my divorce case which was filed by me in my wifes state which is different from mine.after 1 yr of constant threats and man handling which she and her friends did,i could not attend one court hearing due to imminent fear to my life.the case got dismissed their.i filed a fir in her state at ssp office notifying about the threats metted to me.this was after 20 days of divorce case getting dismissed.now i have filed the case in my hometown which was also the only place where we resided as husb. wife.i believe she would go to supreme court for transfer.how can i stop the same from being transferred back to her state.pls guide..

    thanks as always,

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      first and foremost i dont understand why are u filing for divorce – ur responsibilities towards her dont go away just bec u are divorced. secondly who advised u to file a divorce in her state? that was a very bad idea. coming to the situation now – there is a 50-50 chance that either the supreme court will transfer the case to her state OR to a neutral state (neither yours nor hers – somewhere in between). it will be transferred to her state unless you have some strong evidence to show that u have a danger to your life in going to her state. the complaint to the ssp office will help but that is not evidence enough – u should have some injury (MLC – medico legal certificate) etc

  123. harrased husband said

    hi ilsv,
    desperately need guidance.my 498 bail application is under progress in h.c after mediation by high court failed.in the recent most hearing,my lawyer told me that judge is demanding for maintenace in hc for granting me bail.i found it weird as the case under this hc bench is 498 and not sec 24.moreover he says that 4000 pm maitenance is refused by judge saying its 2 low.i just want to know can 498 proceeding be used as a blackmail tool by judge for maintenance.more over i plan to go on next hearing in hc…i have video recording of mediation in high court where i ask her if she wants to stay with me..i asked her this thrice over a period of 20 mins.she did not reply to it.moreover she asserts that she wanted divorce herself and i should have not filed it and conceded to her demands and now she does not caRE.my line of defence here would be that she had planned giving divorce from the very beginning and had deserted on conspiracy so as per supreme courts ruling …deserting wife does not deserve maintenance..does this make sense to u.pls guide as my next hearing is in another 6 daz,
    thanks for ur time.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      What makes sense to me might not necessarily make sense to the judge.

      Most judges are pro-women so be prepared for the worse. I have seen maintenance ordered by the HC judge in bail cases before but if you are lucky then the judge will be impartial and see your logic.

      When you appear in HC, have some type written transcripts of the mediation center handy – and give it to the judge if you get a chance (while you are speaking). In addition, you can always mention that you have always wanted to take care of her and that the judge should order her to come and stay with you.

      Good luck.

      • priya said

        it has been 3 years of my arranged marriage where no positive outcome has come till date. My husband and in-laws have beaten me many times in these 3 years for dowry. When 2 months ago. They beated me again, I filed police complaint against them . My husband promised to take new home where he will stay with me. But today, he has put conditions to remove that police complaint first to take me back snd stay. Even police says complaint is no more because both parties did agreement to stay together. But my husband doesnt or not intended to understand it. I am confused what should I do ? Can I approach court directly by overlooking women cell proceedings or will court send me back to restart from women cell first ? Please help.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        It does make me sad to know about your situation. Between the court and CAW, you should choose the path that is easier for you. If going to CAW is easier, then go to CAW first. If you happen to have physical injuries ever again, go to a hospital, preferably Government hospital. They will ask you how did you incur the injuries, you tell them the truth. They will call the police and FIR will be registered automatically.

  124. Anish said

    i have voice recordings of her voice but not in the original media in which they were recorded. what i can do to prove that she tortured me?
    can i produce them as secondary evidence ? will court accept them ? can i appeal to court to take voice samples of her voice and get the forensic test done to match if her sample voice pattern matches with the pattern of her voice in the voice recording?

    • Vivek said

      why don’t you get the voice of you wife recorded again in some original media, get the forensic lab test done to prove that her voice in the original media and in the non-original media is same ?

  125. Mishra said

    Today I was able to get my 498a quashed. Your free selfless guidance through your blogs played a big role. Thank you so much ILSV !

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Congratulations, I am very happy for you. Are you going to follow up by seeking damages for defamation and mental harassment?

  126. Naveen said


    thanks for putting all the information regarding 498a and partiality of DV act. Under the present circumstances it seems to me that i ll be subjected to this act in near future as there is extreme turbulence in my married life. My wife gets furious about every small thing and doubting over me for extra marital affairs is her hobby these days. And any justification from my side is threatened by FIR and dire consequences.
    Please let me know what can i do to avoid being subjected to 498a ie is there any law by which i can file complaint in police station that my wife is regularly threatening me with false violence and dowry harassment complaints. By browsing on internet some info i have been able to get but not completely and authentic. So please advise me on this issue as it seems i am on the brink of being criminally harassed.

  127. Mandar said


    My wife is a sadist and takes full joy in dominating over me. She even managed to have my father on her side, (father is against me due to property issues). Her parents and siblings also support her gimmicks.

    She has put all sorts of character allegations on me. Couple of years earlier, she tried to file a complaint with police who called me and made me “aware in their “police style” about dire consequences. No written complaint was registered. Relatives are of no help, as they don’t want to get dragged into such things.

    Coming to this point in day, she keeps on threatening me regularly that she would approach the police and file 498a and DV-case against me. Anything that I speak is termed as harassment. Then it is twisted and manipulated and termed as ‘verbal torture’. And she creates her own scenarios and ends up write her own versions in her diary on a regular basis, and declares that she will use this as proof going ahead.
    On the personality she is well qualified MBA from a nominal college but at the same time has some serious inferiority complex issues in matters related to educational qualifications. she has taunted me a number of times on those lines, as my degree is from one of the IIT ranks college.

    It has been now 6 years of marriage. She is a housewife. She claims that she does not get enough money from me, for her day to day needs of herself and the child of 4 years. I earn approximately 1 lakh per month and my fixed expenses (including school fees, EMI, insurance premiums, monthly bills, home-rent etc) is approx. between Rs.75K to 80K per month. I also pay for the medical treatment like situations, if it happens that month.

    AND after taking care of all these expenses every month, I STILL give my wife Rs.7000, as monthly expense amount for herself and child. But she keeps demanding for more.
    Basically, from my stand-point, she wants to file DV-case against me, so as to get more monthly-maintenance in a legal way and if possible, through the back-end, ask for some more “lump some money” to settle the case quickly to avoid further social embarrassment.

    I understand that each case is treated uniquely and ultimately the judge’s perception does play a role. BUT with many people here, having actually faced the DV-trials,
    I want to get an APPROXIMATE idea, do you feel that my monthly allowance of Rs.7000 is “LESS” from a judicial view-point, especially when my taking care of all other expenses.

    If ‘ILSV’ is also able to reply to this, then it will great as he has faced the trials and also gained legal experience in a deterministic manner.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Your father being against you in this case is not a bad thing. If these problems lead to court, then you will have one less thing to worry about – parents. About your specific question about 7,000 – many different things go into a maintenance order, yours (and hers) earning ability being one of the main factors. She is a housewife, you seem to be earning 1 lac after – tax. I hope that she got a lot of Streedhan with her when you got married. It is just foolish for well-earning men to marry a woman who does not earn anything and does not bring any Streedhan with her too.

      • Mandar said

        Thanks for getting back. I had lost all hopes of getting response from you -ILSV.
        Somewhere in the remote corner of my mind, you taking up your own case has left an impression on me.
        I want to contest my own case and use my brain power for it, instead of running behind some lawyer and alike.
        But the actual scenario is quite complicated than what I have written above and I am getting into actual filing of the case now.
        IF you are able to see my associated comment-email and comfortable to maintain contact with me, then please do drop a test-mail on my email.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        I apologize that it took me a while to respond to you. I will try to be more prompt going forward. I do see your email but it is best if we discuss things on the blog, this way others can also read and benefit.

  128. NSN said

    Dear All,

    Hello .. Within the first few months of being married my wife has left me and her matrimonial home to be at her fathers place. It has been 5 months since then. She recently came back to my house to collect the rest of her clothes. The first time she left for her house she took with her some jewelry given to her by us and some that she received as gifts. She has been saying this for the past three months that caring for the family name she is yet not ready to file any case or complaint but she is certainly asking for a good amount of compensation citing various reasons. We have been advised that the time for filing DV has gone as she should had done it earlier. We are also advised that either we file a RCR doing so will lessen some effect in case she files a 498a or we don’t do anything and wait for her next action. I have also been advised to apologize to her and bring her back as nobody likes to see their old parents going for a court case. So I have a few options which are:
    A – I don;t do anything but send some Registered AD letters asking her to return.
    B – Send a RCR notice.
    Know both these things and options are what people here at this blog would consider as spineless. But still what should be the action now from my part as nothing has been filed yet. I am bit apprehensive about reconciling as I am worried about how my life with her would be like.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Spineless or not is a discussion for some other time, right now let us stick to the facts. In my opinion, neither A nor B are going to help in any way. Still, if you insist to do one of them, then do A. Do not do B for various reasons – B will cost you money (that is one of the reasons this option is made popular so that lawyers can make money). Secondly as soon as you file RCR, she will ask for maintenance. So do not do B. In fact, if I were you, I would not even do A. It really does not matter whether you ask her to come back in writing or not. When time comes, you can always claim that you asked her to come back. Being able to prove that you asked her to come back is not going to help in any way.

      • NSN said

        Dear ILSV,

        Thanks for your reply. It comes as a relief. I have read about your experience and I am surprised that a wife can file a 498A even after a couple of years of staying separately as in your case.

        Updates from my side .. I had sent her a few e-mails starting from jan asking her to join me and start living again in her matrimonial home. The mail contents were generally positive in nature with some date wise facts. A week back I got a response which I am sure was not drafted by her but by one of her lawyer relative. The mail contents were full of lies like there has been mental and physical abuse by me and my family and dowry demands etc. We have not done anything alleged by her. She has also warned me that I should not be communicating with her in this manner and that she would be compelled to take action. My family and friends are of the opinion that she wants to intimidate me so that we pay up before she files any case as it would cost her some money.
        Option b as you said has been suggested to us by three different lawyers but none of them can profit from it as they belong to some other state and are aware that we are not gonna hire them but are only taking their advise.

        Dear ILSV .. what I earlier said about RCR is being discussed in the following link:

        1. How can I prove that my wife has deserted me ? Please suggest.
        2. Some people have advised that we are now not supposed to do anything but wait for her next action.


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        lawyersclubindia.com is a lawyer website and I am not surprised that many of them are asking you to file RCR. If people do not file cases, then how will the lawyers make money?

        If you have skills and strength, then file a criminal case – for example, file a case of stealing valuables. File a case saying she took x, y, z from your home in your absence. Such a case will build pressure on the opponent from the beginning.

  129. NSN said

    Dear ILSV,

    People from lawyersclubindia.com did not advise me personally to file RCR. This has been advised by lawyers known to us and belonging to other states. They are aware that they won’t be hired by us and are only suggesting. What I earlier said is also documented over here:
    I hope you don’t get agitated for passing this links. I am only taking part in discussions to know different opinions.
    We will measure the pros and cons before filing a criminal case but will keep you updated.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Hi NSN – I am not offended at all. I was also just sharing what I understand.

      So lawyers are suggesting you to file RCR. Even if they do not get your business, perhaps it is their style of thinking that RCR will help.

      One of my lawyers suggested me too to file RCR – and although she would have been my RCR lawyer, I knew for a fact that she was not the kinds to mislead me. Out of the 10-15 lawyers I have used, she was the best…. perhaps the only honest selfless lawyer.

      She also suggested RCR but I did not see the point…. this was years back, I still do not see the point.

      Very few men have taken the criminal case route, primarily because they are lazy and do not want to ‘increase animosity’ while in my opinion that is the most effective solution and solves problems quickly. It will build pressure on the enemy while if you just keep defending your problems, then they will just keep creating more problems… you have to make it problematic for them too

      • NSN said

        Dear ILSV,

        Thanks for your comment. Yes at the same site I have also seen a few lawyers suggesting that RCR is a toothless & meaningless law under which we may also have to pay some maintenance. You have correctly predicted the situation (about the criminal case & enemy mentality) .. apart from the laziness we think of not increasing any animosity.

        You have done IIT, IIM & then LLB (to fight your case), even changed 10 to 15 lawyers and her maternal uncle helps you occasionally. To be honest I don’t have that energy or the connections that you have. I am an average guy holding a job and how you manage all this is encouraging but surprising. I may take an easier route to pay up to move ahead to get rid of this problem and to save my old parents all this trouble. You may call that a difference between you and me. We read about heroes and their accomplishments like we are reading your blog, but we never become them.

        We are now being accused of dowry harassment(through emails). She has a very shrewd and experienced lawyer as her relative.

        Will keep you updated.

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Dear NSN,

        I am sorry but I do not fully agree that “not increasing animosity” is a factor in not filing criminal cases. Think of it this way – if there was a website where you can register an FIR and you know for sure that without paying any money, the police will go and arrest them right away. Will you not do it? Well 99% of the people will register this FIR (criminal case against the girl and her family). So ‘increasing animosity’ is not really a concern here. Why it does not happen is ‘laziness + other related factors’ – perhaps laziness alone is not the best word so let me explain – it’s laziness + lethargy + not wasting money + lack of knowledge + lack of initiative + a belief that the opponent will gain wisdom some day.

        I did not change 10 to 15 lawyers. I had about 10 different cases – that is how I have worked with 10 to 15 lawyers. My cases were in different states and different courts so I necessarily needed different lawyers.

        About my being a hero – well thank you. But trust me, I am fundamentally no different than you in terms of the things required to become a hero. Let us say even if we say that my IQ is 5 points higher than yours, does that make me a better legal warrior? I do not think so. A higher IQ might help be solve a mathematical puzzle quicker than someone else, but here it is not about IQ. I think one difference between me and many people who ‘settle’ is the ‘anger’ – I was very angry when these things happened to me. I generally tend to get very angry when I am subjected to unfair treatment and injustice.

        So all in all – whether you settle or not is a personal choice but you are not settling because you are not a hero, you are settling because you chose not to be a hero.
        About her emails – just ignore them, you do not even have to read them.

  130. Rajesh said

    Great blog. I would like to kindly tell about following 498a person, who is out for another hunt.

    Dr Sonal Goyal, MBBS, DGO

    D/O Rajendra Prasad Goyal
    Chaudhary Bhavan Road
    Morena, Madhya Pradesh

    Her father is a politician and they specialize in filing 498a in their home district Morena.

  131. harrased husband said

    hi ilsv,
    would really appreciate if u can help me in this scenario.my wife is about to put maintenance case against me.she is a post graduate while am a graduate.she stayed for 3 months after marriage and we hav no kids.also i know she is working and have her account no. in which her salary is credited in hdfc bank but i am not able to get her account statement tp produce in court.how do i go about this and also if i hire a private dtective to get her photo /video of working in an office,will it help or go against me.
    thanks for ur time,

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      such evidence is not likely to go against you but things usually do not reach that extent – once you give specific details about her job (like designation, salary, office address), she is not likely to continue lying that she is unemployed….

      • harrased husband said

        hi ilsv,
        thanks for ur input.a small query…by any chance can u suggest a reliable detective agency which can furnish me details of her employment and residential property ownership.
        i understand that this query may be out of the scope of the discussion here but just asked because i am trying to gather evidence.
        thanks and regards,

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        hi – i am sorry but i never recommend any commercial services. most detectives and lawyers are cheats – i do not want to attach my name to anyone

  132. Raghav said

    no wonder if she is from MP..it is one of the notorious state. What I wonder is that all kinds of women including doctors, Miss World are playing this game.

  133. tanmoy das said

    after 3months marriage life wife separated….for give allegations that husband is IMPOTENT. ..& living in her parent’s home.from last 1&half year…between 1years husband give petition to MC. ( marriage councils)..for bring back wife..no solution come..husband send money all times ..wife refuse..in between wife give GD to her ps after MC compleate..give threat..directly.indirectly..to come in MCD.husband stop to proceding..wife file false 1/307/323/406/dp act/ipc3-4…get arrested with parents..custody for 7 hours…and get AB for all..on same day..wife can’t say about MC or allegations on FIR..husband not take any legal step..how to fight..what can husband do now wih this type of family…

  134. harrased husband said

    hi ilsv,
    would really be thankful if u can clarify some doubts for me…..the 498 case against my parents have been removed by initial I/O in interim report,then i went for their quashing in high court.the judge called the present I/O and asked him what is his stance on my parents involvement.this I/O too in front of high court judge said that no case can be formed against my parents and the judge dismissed my parents quashing petition saying that since no case is made by police against my parents so their petition is dismissed as ineffectious.i really dont understand as to how safe now my parents are.my anticipatory bail case is in supreme court and case is going.i want to know is it safe if my parents now file a criminal defamation against my ex on the basis of I/O interim report and also on basis of high court ineffectious order.my concern is that when the trial starts in lower court ,then she will again press judge to include my parents name.is it possible even now with all these developments.how good would be this criminal defamation strategy and also i heard that since she had filed this 498 in court in presence of a judge and then since my parents name have been removed by I/O ,can i file perjury against her for lying under oath to court.I had just met the I/O again and he told me that when my parents name was removed,she went to comiisioner,judge ,local mlas etc to get their name involved.this naturaly frightens me to death.can u suggest some plan of action.at one of the sif meetings,i was told that my parents should file criminal defamation only after my bail case is solved and charge sheet is filed by I/O and trial starts in lower court.what do u suggest..
    one more thing ,i was in mrchnt navy and was in marriage for 3 months when she desrted me.how should i fight any impending interim maintenance/maintenance case that she files.she is a post graduate and is drawing 20000 rs.i know her place of work and quote the same in court but dont have any salary slips.i have her bank acount no. in which her salary is credited but ofcourse no salary statements.will quoting all this help .also i herd that in caswe of maintenece i shall first ask her to file an affadavit showing her assets/income and there is a format given by justice midah on this.would this be correct to go in this case.my concern is that usually willl the court order me to give her 20%-30% of my salary in interim maintenece or can i fight it out on basis that we have no kid,she is post grad and working,and also has ownership of a flat in her name.

    dear ilsv,i feel i may have taken the liberty of asking u a lot but would appreciate any guidance with lot of gratitude.
    thanks and regards..

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      If I were you, I (from your parents’ side) will file criminal defamation now rather than waiting for your anticipatory bail and charge sheet. The earlier you start building attach, the better it is.

      There is no magic formula for fighting maintenance cases – a lot depends on the judge. The only decision you need to make is whether to accept the court notice and appear in court OR do not accept the notice and let the case go on without your appearance – in which case after a few months she will get ex-parte interim maintenance against you, and then after a couple of years there might be threats of property attachment etc.

  135. NSN said

    Dear ILSV,

    I have had a few information exchanges with you in this faq section. Our exchanges are listed above in the list in dates March 12, 27 .. 28, 31st etc. You were right that most of the time we wait and hope that the opponent will gain wisdom some day. The update from my side is I got a call this Friday 6th June 2014 from the Crime Against Women cell i.e. Women police station where female sub inspectors informed me that my wife has registered complaint against me. I asked her specifically whether it was 498 complaint and she said no. Just informed me that they (CAW) want to save the marriage and not break it. Asked me to visit them that day itself with my parents. We were allowed to read the FIR .. my parents, myself and my sister who got married a month after my marriage and since then resides in the US were blamed for everything from harassment for dowry demands to mental and physical abuse and many many more things. We then understood that we may have been called on Friday so that we cannot apply for bail at least till Monday .. we paid up to get out from there. Had I not done that .. at this very moment i along with my parents would have been in jail. My parents are old and have been good people throughout their lives. I am not willing to see them like this. We were told so by the police personnel so that she would make a favorable statement from our side.
    We were called the second day and my mother need not come. My so called legally wedded wife handed us a list of valuable that she says belongs to her as a streedhan most of which is false and is not with us. She is a clear case of a gold digger. She would make Shruti Verma look like a saint. A police personnel has informed us that whatever gifts, valuables or jewelry we gave her during engagement or wedding officially belongs to her.


    • iluvshrutiverma said

      HI NSN – I will be lying if I say I remember the exact discussions we had earlier but surely I recognize your name and remember that we have discussed your case before. I am not surprised that my ‘forecast’ about your case turned out to be rather accurate.

      I am surprised that when you got a call from CAW cell, you along with your parents went there the same day. That was a big mistake and was not expected from someone like you (who knows what the laws are and how the system works).

      In either case, what has happened cannot be changed. Let’s talk about the future – listen to me and please listen very carefully… you need AB (anticipatory bail)… AB for everyone whose name is there in the CAW cell complaint/ FIR.

      Use this if you think there might be reluctance on judge’s part to grant AB – https://iitbiimb498a.wordpress.com/fir-no-pre-requisite-for-ab-gurbaksh-singh-sibbia-judgment/

      If for some reason you can’t get AB, then ask for ‘stay on arrest’ – something like “police has to give u 7 days notice if they want to arrest you”.

      Good luck!

      P.S. Your wife cannot make Shruti Verma look like a saint, we can have a competition if you like, ha ha ha

  136. deepak awasthi said

    section 13 and section 9 are running in same lower court and lower court has given decision (ex-party) on section 9 and high court has given stay on that, can lower court continue to hear section 13 in this case , other party lawyer requested to shut the case in lower court

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  138. 498a said


    Is there any possibility to get arrested after getting bail from 498a 3,4 adp for the new complaints or like 406 streedhan recovery matter? please guide me.

  139. dragarwal28 said


    It’s a great blog, and its the failure of our justice system that being so much qualified you had also these shameful cases.

    I am also victim of 498a. Had question about jurisdiction area in cases, if dowry harassment is alleged primarily to be happening at place A, and continued for 6 months. But then suddenly the accused drops her at place B and it is again alleged that harassment happened there. The FIR is lodged at place B which also happens to be her native place.

    Can 498a be registered and charged at place B? Does it come into the continuing offence that you have posted separately on the blog ?

  140. sudakhina said

    Sir, I have failed a complaint against my husband on 20/9/14… Under 498 A IPC police didn’t investigation the case right now. Today I call to the police then they said that they could not arrest them because the law is charged. Now what is the next steps I have to do.

  141. Arnab Mukherjee said

    My wife has filed FIR against me U/S. 498A, S. 406 & 3/4 D.P. Act on 16th Oct 2014. My mother is a co-accused. She in the meantime has secured her bail. I was served a notice by the local police under S. 41A. I have complied the same on 25th Oct 2014 and the local P.S. has been really kind of not arresting me for whatsoever reasons only known to them. My wife is yet to claim articles under S. 406. I was married 7 & 1/2 years back & we do have a daughter of 6 & 1/2 years old. Let me be very clear that I have more than enough evidences to prove my case. Only thing is that my mother-in-law had presented my daughter a few items as her birthday gift which I had actually purchased and was later on reimbursed to me. Can these amounts be treated as dowry? If so, then what would be my strategy. The amount of these gifts are more or less INR 35K appx. Similarly she gifted her own daughter few gold ornaments after marriage which I had initially purchased on her behalf, part payment was made to me via cheque and the rest was directly paid to the jeweller. Can this amount be also treated as dowry? If yes what would be the ideal strategy to deal so? Another amount was gifted to us on our 7th marriage anniversary which we had jointly decided to spend while paying advance of a new car. This amount is INR 1 L. The rest amount of the car including rest portion of the advance and the EMI is being borne by me. Can this amount be also treated as dowry? If yes what would be the strategy to deal it? Now, I have enough evidences, valid proofs of how my wife had been happily married with me. Can these evidences in the form of pictures, bills etc. be produced as proves in the Ld. Court? My wife had also mentioned in the FIR that I have brow beaten her on 10th Oct at 10.30 P.M. Fact remains so that she along with my daughter had been to a late night party at one of my friends place with my old pals and was there till at least 11.20 P.M. before we started off for our home. 30 friends of mine as well as their wives are evidence to our presence over there and that no such incident had ever happened over there. A handsome of them are also ready to depose to court. In fact my wife had posted all pics of that party along with her comments on FB precisely at 10.32 P.M. Proof of that also lies with me. Another fact is that I had accompanied my wife and daughter to my in law’s house on 11th Oct 2014. Post that on 14th Oct we had shared a hilarious material over WhatsApp which she had replied back on the same day of my posting and that too within 2 minutes. Can this fact be somehow utilised to further strengthen my case? Now that for the last 1 month she is not staying with me, she has refrained herself from sending my daughter to her school even on the preposterous apprehension that I might abduct her en-route school. This fact has been corroborated by my daughter’s Headmistress up front. Even so, my wife had not even turned up when the school urgently called her up for a meeting on 2 occasions.

    Furthermore, I have set my objectives clear that I want my wife and daughter back at any cost. I have already planned to file RCR, Child Custody and Injunction on sudden school change at my back by my wife.

    Now tell me the following please apart from those as asked above:

    1. Would my case stand at all?
    2. Do you suggest that I should go for quashing the FIR?
    3. Under this renewed circumstance can I apply for custody of the child?
    4. How strong would my case be for getting child custody even if my wife is not sending the daughter to school?
    5. If my wife does not let me visit the child, in case I do not get full custody of the child, even after a court order, what can be done? Can she be forced to comply such a court order? Is it mandatory for her to comply a court order in this matter or can she play a spoilsport and do any kind of nuisance?
    6. Lastly, its not a question, but an affirmation that I would definitely fight back, be assured of that. That is what has been asked to do in Gita.

    • zoder said

      Hello Mr A.M,
      You have just stepped into our world, and being a new case you must have turned mad by now. But remember 99% of all these bullshits are dismissed. if you aks any lawyer who is old by age and is tired with these cases, would tell you that these are the best time pass. Just wait and start thinking about your case and try to figure out what to say and what not to say. You have one year to think and figure out your ideas, before a question is asked to you. The complainant has to prove the case and provide evidences, so just wait and see what is being proved and what evidences are produced.

      Having objectives are good, but need to be more flexible here and think of other options. It is time to think with our brains and not with our heart. Get some ideas on counter cases, against all the girls family members. And as it is your daughister it is always good to keep her with her mother. There is a saying — it could be a bad child but never a bad mother. and this is what is the perception of indian judges whether male or female.

  142. naani said

    Sir,actuvally exparty dvc ipc 128 case given order for maintaince against husband can he appeal for that or reopen the case?

  143. Raj said

    Dear ILSV,

    My wife has filed a complaint in her hometown against all my immediate family members. the complaint is currently being discussed in the women cell of her hometown.

    In the complaint, like all other, she has falsely accused all my family members of beating her up every night and that my mother used to taunt her for dowry.

    In the compaint they have also mentioned that they have given us xxlakhs for us to purchase vehicle, home utility items and clothings and have attached a list of items of silver and gold they exchanged.

    My question is that is there any point in proving the complaint wrong in the women cell as someone told me that in the latest 2014 judgement of SC, women cell officials first need to check the sanity of the complaint (is it wrong or right) and then ask the local police to lodge an FIR (else this officer, local police and magistrate issuing FIR would be charged). Please correct me if I am wrong.

    —please keep the part below this line secret as it may reveal my identity and may hamper my case

    In the real scenario, she left my home unannounced (though she left a note stating all good about me and my family) and went to a place different than her hometown. (we have also filled a gumshudgi case in this regard) Also there were few immediate family members who were not residing with us while she was here at our place. FYI our marriage has not even crossed half year timeline (doest that help)

    Please guide me

  144. SH said

    Hi, I am currently an FPM (PhD) student of IIM. My wife’s family is threatening me with 498A and other cases. The tantrums began when I quit my high paying job and enrolled at IIM. My wife and her family just wanted that I get an onsite and settle abroad. Now she thinks that she is trapped with me as I am a FPM student now. I am not concerned about cases. I am more concerned about my career. I co-incidentally stumbled upon this blog. If she files cases on me what is the reaction that I should expect from the institute? Should I inform any faculty about this. Kindly help me.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      Hi SH – I do not think there should be a problem at the institute. It sounds like you are about one year into FPM, so most of the classes should already be getting over. Even if cases happen, you might just need to go to the court once in a while requiring you some time away from campus and that too it’s minimal after the initial few months.

      In my view – your main focus right now (apart from your education) should be on getting bail. Once you and family members have bail, there will hardly be time away from campus required.

      No need to inform any faculty – there is nothing to inform. You and your wife do not get along well. She will ‘accuse’ you of being a dowry seeker, rapist, and alcoholic. No IIM will (or can) take a disciplinary action against you for a third-party accusation that is not proven yet. 98% of such cases are false and you will finish your FPM sooner than the case finishes.

      Hope this helps.

      • SH said

        Thanks a lot! That’s really helpful. I am a keen follower of your blog. You have helped thousands of people with your inputs. Please keep it up!

      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Thank you, appreciate your kind words. Good luck, keep in touch

  145. pradeep said

    My brother is working in Japan for almost 6 yrs now and his family is in india (wife+3kids) Its been more than 13yrs since they got married . initially his family was staying with my parents but since last 4 yrs they (sis-in-law & kids) started living seperately having very less contact with my parents (only my parents contact because of kids that too once in a blue moon).
    My brother used to come to india once in 1.5 yrs but he continiously send the money to her (bad part he do not have any bank mode he give money to somebody visiting india then that person pay the money to her, so probably less or not proof to claim he used to send money).
    Now it is very appreant that she will file any case against any member of my family including me ( I am staying with my family in other city only once in three month goes to my native place to visit that too for week or so.)
    Could you please highlight some points that we should prepare of if any such bad happen in future and the vary cases that she could file in above said circumstances.

  146. Saba said

    I am writing to you to know what I can do as a woman trapped in a false 498A case. My brother was married in 2007 and he passed away in 2008 due to brain hemorrhage. I the sister , my mum, my aunty and my younger bro are accused by my bro’s wife under false 498A. The truth is except my mum all of us lived in different cities. I am married and worked and lived in a city 200 km away. After my bro passed away she went back to her father’s house and filed the case against us. All except me were arrested and later got bail. I too got bail later. All of this are going on since last 7 years. She is demanding a huge amount of money for compromising. The worst part is the advocates and even judge is pressurizing us to settle the matter, but we arent guilty, in fact she is the one who has tortured my brother and killed. We all met her just twice in one year one in marriage & 2 in my bro’s death funeral. We are devastated and really want to fight back and want to prove that truth never dies. I wonder does it only happen in movies or can we really do something??? If yes what all can we do? plz plz guide us.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      I am sorry about your brother. 7 years and you still are facing trouble because of these cases – that means you are not fighting this legal battle correctly. Advocates will want to settle because they get a cut. Judge either gets a cut or his ego is boosted because he is helping ‘a weak woman’ about whom he fantasizes at night. After 7 years, these cases just become a pile of paper with no inconvenience whatsoever. I do not know what u are doing wrong

  147. sonu said

    Hi All,

    This blog gives me lot of strength and courage to fight against my wife.

    I got married on Feb 2015, Right from start her behavior was abnormal.She use to lie a lot on very small issues.She did not cook food, woke up late.
    she kept all jewel at her parental home without informing me…my in laws resides in the same city..they started interfering in each matter.
    she started threatening me for suicide and 498a…she wants me to be her puppet ..i have my father, sister and my grandparents to take care..now they dont come to my place..one day she consumed lizol..and went to neighbors place and said i have consumed lizol..they took her to hospital..i got call from her father i was in office..i reached hospital.I saw my wife she was very well…i paid medical expenses..they started abusing me…MLC happened police came..her statements were recorded…i left the hospital ..after two days i called to Police station..where everybody started blaming me and she gave a application about dowry which is false…now police and my in laws want me to compromise…i am a central government employee…I dont want to compromise …because she has already damaged me a lot my false allegation, defame me in my residence ,office, police station…now i cant take her back because she has purposefully consumed bit of lizol which is non life threatening ..that is mentioned in MLC also…she is very stubborn and arrogant…due to her threats and application of dowry..I filed a case of judicial separation under section 10 ..to live apart…so that if she do such kind of act i will not be responsible for her any act…m looking for following question..

    1. What all odd can happen by my case of section 10 judicial separation?
    2.How i can reduce maintenance?
    3. Should i opt for AB as of now there is no FIR.

    • iluvshrutiverma said

      There have been many others who have been on this journey of legal terrorism before you, I sincerely wish that you continue to derive strength and courage to fight against evil.

      1 – Don’t bother to waste time and money on Sec 10 – in my opinion, it should be deleted from the law book, there is no use whatsoever of sec 10

      2 – Search my blogs, you will find lots of information

      3 – Yes, use “Gurbaksh Singh Sibbia judgment” if the judge says there is no FIR

    • NSN said

      Hi sonu,
      The police have called you to basically compromise so that they might also get a cut. Basically it will go like this * you will not compromise -> * then they will go ahead with fir 498a -> *maybe that is then you will need an anticipatory bail.
      Which city are you residing ?
      If possible please mention the full name of your wife over here. Will be helpful for others.
      Have they asked for any amount yet .. please mention it here. The compromise amount will be very very less that what is being demanded. If you intend to fight then you will need to have that kind of patience. ILSV has fought his own case but i guess he is made up of different caliber. Did his IIT then IIM then did LLB after his dear wife pressed charges against him. So think about your capacity of the distance that is possible for you to go and then take up that particular path.


      • iluvshrutiverma said

        Dear NSN – this time I remember our conversations from last year 🙂

        About the caliber – well thank you so much. As they say it’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice. It is true that I was blessed with an above average intelligence, but it is the love and affection of people like you that makes me happy.

  148. haru santra said

    My wife had file a 498 before 2 year ago.then the case is running for 11 month. I get bell in court. Then we decided to stay together since Nov 2014. But now she left my house on sep 2015. Can she again file sec 498 againme? me

  149. HI Sir,

    My email id: 498a34adp (at) gmail (dot) com.

    We got 100% arrange marriage on 26th september 2013. She and her family and relatives starting troubling us from day one as I apposed the regular visits of her cousin in afternoon time and father visits in evening time.

    She has filed 498a34adp case on me and my family members. We lived together in my home only for 4 months that too with lot of issues from her family members as they were visiting regularly to my home.

    She was pregnant of 3 months when i dropped her parents home for staying 4 days happily as pregnancy confirmed. she did not responded me when i went to take her back after 6 days, meanwhile we were doing chit chat and talk on phones regularly and she was ready to come with me. But I dont knowm, what was wrong and she told that, she will come with her father as her was not available as of now in this city. So, I returned by listening her words.

    later, they invited my to rowdy-sheeters and finally they complaint on us in Police station.

    There, I got to know that, she has no pregnancy by her father might be they killed my child of 4 months means abortion. And they were demanding for 2lakhs and refused to return my gold&silver jewelry (Worth 1.5 lakhs). That to i was agree to pay them and i requested them not to spoil my career and future by filing these false cases on us.

    Then immediately they were demanding 5 lakhs (excluding the jewelry she has kept with her), so i refused them for this much amount.

    Finally they filed 498a34adp on me, I was reminded for 4 days, I and my family took bails, later one year, they have forced to filed the charge sheet and charge sheet has submitted.

    And now, she has applied for crp125 and marriage dissolution petitions in family court.Here, I was redirected to mediation center and she is not interested to live with me and also for not reunion. After all in the 2 months mediation counselling her father finally agreed to return my gold ornaments on the condition of seeking KHULA (DIVORCE FROM HER SIDE) and quashing from my side in High court.

    I refused for quashing from my side to apply in high court. And requested them to put the papers for withdrawal in nampally criminal court where my case is running on.

    But, her father and advocate refused to do that, and the mediator of legal services of family court, has redirected our file to court by saying THAT, “RESPONDENT(myself) IS NOT INTERESTED FOR SETTLEMENT” and took the signatures of both petition(her) and respondent(myself).

    Kindly suggest me that, I want to get out from these cases as cleansheet as I have not done anything wrong with my wife and all. Those all allegations on me and my family members are baseless and meaningless.

    1.) I have pregnancy scan report of almost 3 months duration.
    2.) Once they filed the complaint then i sent the petition about their activities to that police station from High court that copy also i have with attestation of hight court while filing this petition only.
    3.) I did not take any dowry at the time of marriage nor single cloth for me also not done any harrasment, but they gave common stridhan as usual (for stridhan i did not do any signature and no proof of it if they claim, but we people dont want to tell lie or cheat anyone)

    1.) may I get force from the court to give divorce her as “KHULA”?
    2.) may I get the responsibility of maintaining my wife by paying maintenance under crp125 as she is not interested to live with me and demanding for marriage dissolution and has done abortion which one she has told to judge from herself when I inquired infront of judge before redirecting to mediation center?
    3.) Is there any remedy/solution to stop her for asking khula means not to give her “KHULA” (as 498a is still running as appearance or presence at starting stage) under maintenance case crp125 itself?
    4.) How to file a strong petition towards both cases of maintenance and marriage dissolution?
    5.) Might be she was living in adultery as her cousin used to visit my home in my absence in starting days and due to that fear of detecting DNA of baby might proof her adultery she has done abortion without informing me and also not discussed anywhere in all the matters about pregnancy.

    I am in financial problems and paying my credits and loans by hardly dying myself. My parents health is not good as BP, sugar, asthma and back pains so we are doing their treatment in SHADAN MEDICAL SCIENCE HOSPITAL in free campus. Life became too complicated and horror due to this. We people lost our respect and image in society and relatives.

    Please let me know as soon as possible. Or Please help me to meet you personally for further steps before its too late.


  150. 498a34ad9@gmail.com (harassed by wife's cruelty) said

    HI Sir,

    My email id: 498a34adp (at) gmail (dot) com.

    We got 100% arrange marriage on 26th september 2016. She and her family and relatives starting troubling us from day one as I apposed the regular visits of her cousin in afternoon time and father visits in evening time.

    She has filed 498a34adp case on me and my family members. We lived together in my home only for 4 months that too with lot of issues from her family members as they were visiting regularly to my home.

    She was pregnant of 3 months when i dropped her parents home for staying 4 days happily as pregnancy confirmed. she did not responded me when i went to take her back after 6 days, meanwhile we were doing chit chat and talk on phones regularly and she was ready to come with me. But I dont knowm, what was wrong and she told that, she will come with her father as her was not available as of now in this city. So, I returned by listening her words.

    later, they invited my to rowdy-sheeters and finally they complaint on us in Police station.

    There, I got to know that, she has no pregnancy by her father might be they killed my child of 4 months means abortion. And they were demanding for 2lakhs and refused to return my gold&silver jewelry (Worth 1.5 lakhs). That to i was agree to pay them and i requested them not to spoil my career and future by filing these false cases on us.

    Then immediately they were demanding 5 lakhs (excluding the jewelry she has kept with her), so i refused them for this much amount.

    Finally they filed 498a34adp on me, I was reminded for 4 days, I and my family took bails, later one year, they have forced to filed the charge sheet and charge sheet has submitted.

    And now, she has applied for crp125 and marriage dissolution petitions cases in family court.Here, I was redirected to mediation center and she is not interested to live with me and also for not reunion. After all in the 2 months mediation counselling her father finally agreed to return my gold ornaments on the condition of seeking KHULA (DIVORCE FROM HER SIDE) and quashing from my side in High court.

    I refused for quashing from my side to apply in high court. And requested them to put the papers for withdrawal in nampally criminal court where my case is running on.

    But, her father and advocate refused to do that, and the mediator of legal services of family court, has redirected our file to court by saying THAT, “RESPONDENT(myself) IS NOT INTERESTED FOR SETTLEMENT” and took the signatures of both petition(her) and respondent(myself).

    Kindly suggest me that, I want to get out from these cases as cleansheet as I have not done anything wrong with my wife and all. Those all allegations on me and my family members are baseless and meaningless.

    1.) I have pregnancy scan report of almost 3 months duration.
    2.) Once they filed the complaint then i sent the petition about their activities to that police station from High court that copy also i have with attestation of hight court while filing this petition only.
    3.) I did not take any dowry at the time of marriage nor single cloth for me also not done any harrasment, but they gave common stridhan as usual (for stridhan i did not do any signature and no proof of it if they claim, but we people dont want to tell lie or cheat anyone)

    1.) may I get force from the court to give divorce her as “KHULA”?
    2.) may I get the responsibility of maintaining my wife by paying maintenance under crp125 as she is not interested to live with me and demanding for marriage dissolution and has done abortion which one she has told to judge from herself when I inquired infront of judge before redirecting to mediation center?
    3.) Is there any remedy/solution to stop her for asking khula means not to give her “KHULA” (as 498a is still running as appearance or presence at starting stage) under maintenance case crp125 itself?
    4.) How to file a strong petition towards both cases of maintenance and marriage dissolution?
    5.) Might be she was living in adultery as her cousin used to visit my home in my absence in starting days and due to that fear of detecting DNA of baby might proof her adultery she has done abortion without informing me and also not discussed anywhere in all the matters about pregnancy.

    I am in financial problems and paying my credits and loans by hardly dying myself. My parents health is not good as BP, sugar, asthma and back pains so we are doing their treatment in SHADAN MEDICAL SCIENCE HOSPITAL in free campus. Life became too complicated and horror due to this. We people lost our respect and image in society and relatives.

    Please let me know as soon as possible. Or Please help me to meet you personally for further steps before its too late.

  151. jiten said

    I have similar situations and have few specific question for guidance.

    I am currently residing away from my parents in rented accommodation and i have a 7 year old kid. I have been into marriage since last 9 years.
    My wife is short tempered creates issue of nothing and keeps on taunting me about each relative i have. It is no more bearable.
    I am jobless since last 8 months and my expenses are taken care from interest money i earn (40K).
    I want to prepare myself with multiple options.

    1. Is is wise to leave her and take another rented accommodation . I may give her amount to maintain her.
    2. Will filing a case/complaint against her will in tern provoke the opposite party for filing 498A or it is wise to go for divorce by mutual settlement?
    3. I am already jobless, is it wise to get all money out from bank for negotiation?

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